The Slumbering Real Me

It's not that deep to tell you whatever this sketch means but you're like me who has lack of attention in his childhood, who fear anything that would wreck my sanity and who has problem with expressing emotions, you know the feeling of Wearing a Mask to your family and friends that You're telling them you're happy and fine yet deep inside, you're slowly emotionally dying because of... well if know what "Murphy's Law" means, you get what I mean.

Like If I die, I accept it because well what I learned from psychology 101 is,to summarize,

accept everything that what would happen. But this isn't applied yet before the year 2014. Which well A dear friend of mine started to unfriend me for no apparent reason so I went quiet on him or them for 4 years. Because Why would I stick my neck to someone who doesn't want me anymore

I accepted that friendship doesn't last long that's why I the constant fear or socializing. I partly get over it but still in the process of recovering.

A lot of self-damaging has been bottled up inside of me mostly related to the ff.

my past relationship where 1 of my ex-boyfriend who actually cheated on me to someone richer than I am and I too believe his mother's involved on the break up or lesser on him actually tired of lying to me.

there are actual people who attempted to do the "cancel culture" because I'm too popular to them but I don't really don't give a flying fuck. Yeah I have receipts from people that they actually talking shit about me. But I'm not revealing who it was. I don't want blood on my hands but of course, since I have the receipts, I'm immune to their shitfucks.

The Sleeping version of me is the real me. the Happier and energetic me who has no problem. He has more enthusiasm than the current one talking right now. I'm a glitch on this program but I'm the one running and controlling this body. I'm the one covering up his ass for the past 7 years.

Yeah it's kinda deep but I mean if you're like me, you'll get it
Tho again, he's still sleeping and who knows when he's gonna get his ass up and get over.

Who Knows where to find the key to unbind him too.

Thank you
Note: I'm sorry if I babbled things like this but this is true about what I am feeling right now. as of now when I'm typing this, my eyes are getting a bit watery .