Big Tiddy Von

Sorry guys, but I have tragic news regarding this big project I was working on during the last 15 days. Sadly, I lost about 40% of it the most tragic way and most likely forever. And it were the most tasteful 40% as well. I feel completely devastated, shattered and depressed, on top of broken monitor, small personal life issues, financial difficulties and low productivity which messes up all my urgent art plans I also got the biggest catastrophe in all these years of my art career.

I had issues with GIMP before, it often freezes and takes a lot of time to unfreeze, sometimes it crashes for no reason and makes me lose a lot of progress but it all seemed avoidable with just some extra cautiousness and saving projects more often. But what if even saving is not safe for your project? Well, I never thought it can happen but it did.

It started off as a seemingly happy day yesterday, all job was finally done after 2 weeks of messing around with it, almost all the alt. version materials were prepared for converting into actual images, I was expecting to post everything by the evening, have some time to respond to some friends who can't reach me for days again and go to sleep early but my whole day was ruined, no post, wasting all my time on worthless attempts to solve the problem and going to sleep at 4am again crying my eyes out in bed.

I had all materials in 4 .xcf files (GIMP native project format), one of them was especially big and contained all the edits with big belly and hands milking Lycaon's nipples but it actually had a TON of other stuff related to it as well. As I said, it was the most tasteful part of the project so I saved it for last. Added all the last details, saved it and went to converting main simple versions without the belly first.
And I repeat, I SAVED THE PROJECT WITHOUT ANY ISSUES. It all seemed totally fine. Yes, it was very big, 2GB, but I already worked with such project files before, one of the project files for my previous Lycaon artwork was 2.03GB and it worked okay.

Imagine my shock when I tried to open this file again and saw these errors.

Then GIMP just crashes.

I was literally in agony. I was yelling, swearing, almost feeling my brain pulsating, I thought I'm just gonna lose my mind.

I can't say I tried everything as I'm not very smart with computers but I tried A LOT, different file viewers, recovery tools and so on but all without success.

Another concerning thing is that now GIMP has problems with my older project files too.

For example, other project files for this artwork are much smaller, two of them are 230 and 384mb and work fine when opened separately. But if I try open one project and then open another one in the same session without closing the first one I get the same error, just with less bytes specified. Also old GIMP now refuses to open project files bigger than 1GB at all, showing the same error. Newer GIMP still opens them but I barely use it.

It feels like the problem is not the file (maybe, or at least not ONLY the file) but also my PC as well, like it has some memory problems or something. And yeah, I got three blue screens of death titled MEMORY MANAGEMENT yesterday with only 5 minute interval between the last two.

So, on top of having problems with this project in particular I'm now afraid of working in general because the same shit can easily happen again with my future works. It feels like my system is literally falling apart and it's terrifying.

I also tried to send the file to my friend in hopes that maybe it can be opened on a healthier PC but he got the same error which weakened my hope to recover it.

I'll leave google drive link here if you have some experience with file recovery and wanna try to help me out:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yc677dQ1ALPyg878FGZ0snQq6gDXcRYv/view?usp=drive_link

The only thing I was lucky to preserve are few images I sent to my BF in Telegram, you know, just copying it directly from GIMP without saving to PC so all I have are pictures in a crappy Telegram quality.

I wish I sent smooth body version to my BF not as a lazy window screenshot at least.

Well, at least it shows how much work was done and what we could get...

I don't know what else to say. I was anticipating the moment of finally posting it all so much for so long, thought it's gonna be a real banger of the year, even wanted to finally make a collage of the most important versions as a big promotional image like some artists do and advertise my Patreon a bit better, it would be the first time for me, and now it's all ruined. Well, of course I still have 44 version (including those saved from Telegram) and there's still a lot of really extreme ones, some of you will probably say that I still did great big job here and so on but it still feels so embarrassingly small for 15 days of work.

Also here's an excerpt from the initial version of the post I started writing for Patreon beforehand when I was in a more cheerful mood, sharing my thoughts on the artwork and so on. I have no energy to edit it or make it blend naturally with what I described above so you can just read it as it was, I just want to share at least some other thoughts regarding this artwork besides all the terror surrounding its creation.

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Alright, another initially simple idea turned into another gargantuan pack of porn from the very depths of hell. Surely the amount of work is not the only reason why I was messing around with it for two weeks but man, I really got carried away drawing more and more filthy edits for this one and did pretty much everything I had in mind.

The story is nothing special to discuss in much detail, all I had in mind is just a random urge to draw Lycaon with REALLY big tits and I wanted this artwork to be SIMPLE, I said to myself "Just Lycaon's face, raised arms and his giant breast being the main focus, simple, shouldn't take much time to finish, right?" Well, very naive of me, just as usual.

And yeah, I'm always saying that I'm 100% gay and love only masculine men, no women, femboys, bimbofication, feminine make up, girly clothes, lingerie or high heels ever made me feel anything even remotely sexual, but over years I realized that I don't mind some elements of female anatomy being applied to a male body, mainly female breasts and pussy. After all, I love men with massive tits and it's pretty much the same breast, just a bit differently shaped, and masculine man with pussy is pretty much the same masculine man, just sporting one extra hole replacing his dick. I haven't played with hyper pussy concepts yet but I thought maybe it's time to do hyper tits like that for once.

As a result, a simple idea of drawing a guy with tits opened a way to numerous other temptations, just as usual.

Here's general list of extra details I added in alt versions:

-Body hair. Of course, no matter what shape tits take, covering them with hair is always a big pleasure and how can I resist drawing all these nasty bushes around those nipples? And obviously I chose the raised arms pose just for this sole purpose.

-Pulled back foreskin. Honestly, I was debating with myself again what dick type should I leave for public version, classic one which will please more people or one which I like the most and again I chose later since I'm a self-proclaimed phimosis ambassador hahaha. Way too many friends of mine say they wish all characters on my artworks had foreskin like that and it turned out way too tasteful on this artwork so I decided to follow my cravings again.

-Big belly. Of course I had to do it too, the only thing better than a pair of big fat tits is an even bigger heavy belly hanging alongside. Of course it meant more work with marker writings and extra body hair but it's a job I enjoy doing after all. Also belly writings have two versions, a regular one and dirtier one for scat lovers.

-Regular lactation and piss lactation. Yeah, I really wanted to return to this good old weird fixation of mine and imagine Von's tits being bloated with piss like two ginormous bladders, aching and begging for relief.

-Milking. This was a pretty elaborate edit as I had to alternate breast shape and draw a couple of hands squeezing Von's nipples. Not sure that it turned out as impactful looking as I imagined but it still looks hot and worthy of the effort I put into it, especially with all the piss fantasies.

-Foreskin inflation. I was doing ridiculously big cock heads covered with tight foreskin pretty often without any logical context but this time I decided to take advantage of this artwork's BDSM vibe, tie Lycaon's foreskin and make it swell in three different ways depending on what stuff you like the most. There's standard air pumping for more vanilla folks and also cockfart inflation and piss bloat for those who like it nastier.

-Nipple inflation. Pretty much the same thing and a pretty new one for me I have to say since I don't remember trying anything like this before. And to be honest, I don't remember anybody else drawing such stuff which is quite a shame. I mean, isn't it tempting to imagine already big soft meaty nipples being tied and swelling with either milk, farts or whatever else depending on your preferences, elongating like these long balloons for toy figures, getting all smooth, shiny and rubbery from the overwhelming stretch? Maybe I'll dedicate a separate artwork to this concept one day and make it even more extreme but for now I just had some little fun editing what I have. Sorry, I haven't made air inflation version for this one, only fart and piss swelling but I think this concept is fucked up enough to get attention only from those folks who don't mind farts and piss anyway.

-Armpit farts and armpit scat. YES, I finally did armpit scat. A pretty niche surreal kink drawn by very few people which actually inspired me to start drawing armpit farts but surprisingly it took me a while to draw actual armpit scat. Maybe it's not the most impressive display of such kink you could imagine considering the limited space but still adds a good amount of nastiness for those who love things getting really extreme. I even tried to draw armpit holes as detailed as possible and honestly it looks pretty hot.

That's pretty much it. I think I projected nearly all possible kinks I could project on Von here. I feel pretty obsessed and wanna do way more crazy things to him but I need to pay attention to other characters and ideas as well, so, maybe one day later.
This artwork felt like another nice breakthrough, even with some flaws and imperfections I feel like I reached a new level of quality shading. And yeah, I just can't stop using pink color scheme for every Lycaon artwork of mine, it just suits him so well but I promise I'll give next Lycaon artwork some other feel!
Also it was nice to try body writing stuff. I don't remember if I ever did it before but even if I did it definitely wasn't that extreme. The closest thing that had similar feel is my Legoshi commisson with dirty wall writings in a public toilet. I can't say I'm all obsessed with dirty body writing but it feels like a nice cherry on top for a good artwork and I'm thankful to those friends who helped me to come up with creative writings for Lycaon! I hope you're happy to see your input in my art~
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That's where it ends.

It's hard for me to act like everything is fine and post it online with a happy face like nothing happened but I should. I'm feeling too empty, exhausted and scared to even think about starting new art for Christmas and new commission but I need to swallow this and move on because my life depends on it after all.

I'm sorry guys, I really wanted to give you something very very special for Christmas and maybe partially I still managed to do so but still I'm feeling like a failure. Maybe there's still hope to recover everything but I already gave up. Maybe I'll redraw it all one day but for now it's painful to think about. Artwork that big feels like a pregnancy and situations like this... Feel like having your baby born dead. It's not a crash which makes you lose few hours of progress, it's not one day of progress, it's way more. I might get around this trauma eventually but I can't promise much. I hope you still enjoy that little amount of content I managed to save. Feel free to contact me in case you manage to recover the .xcf file by some miracle. And sorry again to all the close friends still waiting for my response. I'm definitely not in a mood to talk right now.