2020 - Thoughts, Plans & Goals

Heyo, everyone!

I hope all of you had a good holiday season & new year!  I know we all celebrate the winter celebration marathon in different ways, but I hope that however you spent yours was good and happy and healthy and optimistic. ^_^

Like most folks, the change over to a new year brings with it a lot of thoughts for change.  I typically try not to set hard resolutions, since I find making an itemized list of vague-things-to-improve sets myself up for failure, and is quickly abandoned & forgotten by february ;^_^  Still, 2019 brought with it a lot of realizations about myself and how I was handling my life, both personally and professionally.  I've done a LOT of thinking over the last couple months, and wanted to let you in on where I'm at and where I would like to go in the next year and beyond.

To make a long story short, since I moved to NC and took on a full time dayjob - the first time I've been on that kind of schedule in at least 4 years - I initially tried to treat the art side of my career no differently than I had before.  However, between VASTLY overestimating how much free time I would have to work on commissions, AND being forced to take more commissions than even I thought I could handle due to sudden financial emergencies (broken tooth & broken car ;_;), it came to the point where I was 3/4 through 2019 and had barely had the time or energy to work on things I'd promised people months before.  I might also have some undiagnosed brain chem issue like Depression or ADHD that throws a wrench in there as well, but that's only speculation on my part.  

So basically TLDR, I took on far too much outside work for what little time I had to complete it, meaning kind folks weren't getting their art, and I'm too depressed/guilty to even touch the dozen or so ideas or projects I want to work on for myself. SOMETHING needs to change.

On top of that, because I've been distracted with wrestling with all of the above, I've neglected this Patreon.  You guys are my strongest supporters, given you've been willing to open your wallets and say "hey Liz, we believe in you, here's a couple bucks every month to keep going", You Deserve Better. Which is why it is so important to me to not only have a plan to get out of this hole I've dug myself into, but make sure that making right by you guys is an integral part of that plan. Your support really is very important to me, and I want to make sure my actions going forward reflect that <3

So without further ado, below are the things I'm going to try to do (or NOT do) in the coming year:

TO DO

• Get Back into Comics : I have a lot of ideas for things I would like to do, from single strip gag-a-day type stuff, to short stories (<20 pages) to much longer ones (60-80 pages and up), including one or two collaborative things. It's been a long time since I've done any comics so I'm going to take this VERY slow at first and see how things go.  Obviously I won't be able to finish all of the proposed ideas I've got in one year, but anything I can do to start myself back on the path of making comics is better than what I HAVE been doing, which is nothing. ;^_^  No matter what I do, a lot of these will be either early access or exclusive to patrons, so keep an eye out for that in the coming weeks/months.
• Stream More : I really enjoy streaming on twitch and would like to do my best to set aside some time at least once a week to do that.  I also want to improve the quality of my streams, and I already have some ideas on how to do that (perhaps I'll work on some of those things during a stream, if folks are interested?)
• Personal Projects & Art Experiments : There are a lot of creative things I want to try that I have little to no experience in, like resin pours, sculpting, doll customizing, book binding, and sewing. These are things that I likely won't be able to turn into an income, beyond sharing the process (and mistakes I make along the way) with you guys here and possibly on twitch or youtube.  But it's important to me to be able to indulge in occasional creative impulses without having to worry "is this thing commercially viable?"  I became an artist because it was a fun outlet for me, and somewhere along the way I've lost that.  I want to make a conscious effort to regain that.
• More Intentional Fun : a couple weeks ago I had an art hangout with a friend from work, and it was awesome!  I joked at the time that it was the first time I've had someone visit my house since I moved in over a year ago, which is true.  I spend so much of my "recharge" down time alone just doing mindless activities, in part because scheduling a fun activity or hangout always felt selfish in a weird way ("How dare you spend time & money at a MOVIE when you have commissions??"), but the alternative not only didn't serve any productive purpose, but it didn't actually RECHARGE me because I'm either spending all that time mentally distracted by all the things I *should* be doing without being able to pull myself from whatever it is I'm doing (haha executive dysfunction much?) OR I'm being pulled into some internet rage or terrible news that, while important to be informed by, is too easy to drown in.  You can call this "self care" if you want, but I'm being more specific in saying "I need to schedule time to Do Fun Activities" because otherwise I'll just call "sitting on the couch watching youtube videos and playing ipad games for 5 hours" self care and that's just not cutting it. When I look back at the end of the year, I want to be able to say I DID things worth talking about & remembering.

TO NOT DO

• Commissions : Before you ask, this does NOT mean I'm never taking commissions again!!! However, one of my biggest pitfalls last year was taking far more freelance & commission work than I could realistically handle. I really did considered saying "no new commission work in 2020, period" but quickly realized that I didn't want to cut off working with folks entirely.  However, once I finish with my current commission queue, my plan is to have no more than one, MAYBE two commissions in progress at a time, and to be very selective about the types of project I take or the people I work with.  Commission overload was my biggest problem last year, and I want to make sure I don't fall into that problem again.
• Doing Conventions : This one was the hardest decision for me, but I've decided to take a year off from doing any conventions this year.  I've only done Anthrocon for a few years, but I have had one or two local events ask me if I want to attend, and I've decided that I want to put more focus into doing my own work from home. Since I ended Broken Plot Device, I've noticed a steady decline in my ability to cover expenses and make a profit. It sounds very capitalist, but the truth is that I have to be VERY careful about how I spend my time and money, and right now I just can't legitimize the expense that comes with conventions right now.  My hope is that if I spend this year working on art and comics, than in the next year or two I'll be able to produce a new book to make cons worth it.  Until then, no selling at cons for me. ;^_^

WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT AS PATRONS?

Going forward, I will be making an effort to share more of my progress work & art experiments here with you guys (finished, polished posts will be kept to instagram and my website).  And once I start creating comics regularly, I will likely be making a second tier (somewhere in the $3-$5/mo range) so you can read the finished comic one-shots and download any long-form comic pdfs for free (non-patrons will be able to buy any longer comics from my Gumroad).  I'll also probably have occasional polls where you can help me decide on what projects or ideas to pursue if I'm feeling indecisive, and of course you can always comment with your feedback to let me know how I'm doing. All I ask is that you please be kind, I'm doing my best to make up for my shortcomings from the last year or two. ;^_^  

Anyway, that was a LOT of words to basically say this: I got very overwhelmed in 2019 and got in over my head with things without really accomplishing anything because I was mentally and emotionally exhausted.  To recycle the analogy I used on twitter, a car with an empty tank of gas won't go anywhere no matter how hard you press down on the petal.  This year, my goal is to slowly and consciously work to refill that tank so I can get back on the road, being kinder to myself and delivering you guys with the fun art you subscribed to me for.  ^_^  

It will be hard and I know I'll stumble on the way, but I'll do my best to reach the goals I've set out for myself. And I want you all to know that your continued support and PATIENCE with me truly does mean the world to me, and will make reaching those goals that much easier.  You all are amazing, and I appreciate each and every one of you <3

Here's to a step in a better direction in 2020!

<3, Liz