Update, Explaination & Apology. 2/20/20

The title might be sorta eye catching what with the 'apology' aspect and all. Because it's meant to be eye catching, since I really want to emphasis some things I wish to apologize about. So, explanation first-- apology and then finally an update.

By the end of 2019, I was dead-set focused on solely making the patreon content thrive for you guys. New arts, better updates, patreon rewards either in the form of sketches or fully-rendered projects for the higher-tier gems that had been overwhelmingly generous. January 2020 started off strong. I had a couple of patron rewards completed and several neat commissions and passion projects I had done good work on. Halfway through January-- the stress real life steamrolled me.

For those of you who don't know, I'm currently living in Australia with my husband Noxy on a Bridging Visa while a decision is made on my actual residency. I got an email halfway through January from Immigration requesting me to provide even more documentation within no more than 28 days from the time the email was sent. Seemed fine enough right? Well. The documents requested criminal records from my home country, criminal records from the Australian Federal Police itself and health examination which, in all, costed me just under $600 altogether. The financial and emotional struggle of trying to acquire all those documents along with the paranoia and fear of having my Visa denied and having to leave Noxy left me quite paralyzed with fear and anxiety. And thus, my progress with virtually every drawing stalled overnight. I was unable to properly focus on any drawing whatsoever. I have since given all my proper documents and hopefully everything is in order, but nevertheless, the fear remains and I can still barely focus.

I'm sorry for that. I've truly truly wanted to make this new year one where I hit my stride with this community and actually provide an abundance of content. But right now I'm middling at best. I want to improve and I want to double down on giving the kind of artwork you guys want and deserve. And it frustrates me to no end that --OF COURSE-- my year would essentially start off with the worst anxiety I've had since 2015. And although I've done everything right by providing documents to my damn Visa, I'm still terrified of being denied a stay here. Because both Noxy and I really have nowhere to go if this doesn't work out. We need this to work...

Anyway. I'll keep you informed on what happens next in terms of that. In addition, I certainly hope to focus more on making the best content possible for you guys. You've been incredibly gracious to me and I appreciate  it more than I can emphasize... So thank you, sincerely. I'm going to keep trying to draw regardless. I might not be hitting my stride like I hoped, but I'm definitely still working. And I'll continue to do so at the very least. I'll try to share more updates and W.I.P.'s too since those seem to be really liked on here. Thank you for reading and I hope to hear from you sweethearts soon.