Gif: THE FARMGIRL CURSE
Added 2025-06-18 16:00:19 +0000 UTC
Tonight my car broke down in some little hillbilly town that wasn’t even on the map. Probably more cows out here than people. I figured I'd be stuck sleeping in my car, but then this creepy old dude comes clomping out of the cornfields. We're talking overalls, scraggly beard, glass eye. He seemed friendly enough at first, and he even said I could sleep in his farmhouse. But then he gave me this crazy stare and said, "Just one rule, city boy: keep your hands off my daughters, or you'll pay."
I nearly laughed in his face. I mean, he was such an ugly old cuss, I figured his daughters had to be real dogs! But then I met one of his girls, and damn. Blonde, pigtails, tight little cutoffs. A real backwoods beauty. Well, how could a guy resist, right?
So later I sneak into her room, and we’re just getting into it when the old man kicks the door in, hollering about how he's gonna teach me a lesson so I'll never defile an innocent girl again. I'm lucky I got out of there before that redneck lunatic could blast me full of buckshot!
I ran and hid in this barn, and I figure I'll sleep out here tonight. Tomorrow morning I'll get the hell out of this cruddy little town and never look back.
I keep telling myself I got away clean. But... I dunno, something seems off. My clothes are tight, my skin feels warm, and I got this real funny tingle down in my innards.
Land sakes, but it's spooky out here in this dark, drafty ol' barn. Mighty lonesome, too.
I sure do wish I had me a big, strong city boy to cuddle up with...
