Gif: FROM GANGSTER TO GIRLIE

INT. RATTY APARTMENT – DAY

Three hoods rush in, straight out of a cheap crime flick - a cocky boss in a red leather jacket and a pair of nervous lackeys.

BOSS: Well, we pulled off the job... no thanks to you mooks! You was stumblin' all over yourselves.

MOOK #1: Sorry, boss! It’s just, that mansion was awful creepy, like somethin' from a horror show!

MOOK #2: Yeah. And when that old lady came downstairs hollerin' at us like that... I could swear her eyes was glowin’!

BOSS: It's called cataracts, ya numbskull. (He reaches into his jacket pocket, flings a glittering necklace onto the table and gazes down at it greedily.) What a score. I'm gonna be so loaded, I'll never have to chase dames again. Them dames'll be chasing ME!

The MOOKS are still shaken, pacing and glancing around warily.

MOOK #2: I keep seeing that old lady every time I close my eyes. What was she hollerin', anyhow?

MOOK #1: I couldn't tell. I think my heart was beatin' too loud.

BOSS: I heard her. It was some crap like, ‘A fool who'd steal a witch's prize shall be a sight to please men's eyes.’ It didn't mean nothin', she was just a senile old kook. Listen to you two, scared silly by some broad north of eighty. What a pair of girls!

The BOSS takes off his jacket, but as he does he transforms into a gorgeous woman wearing a black bra. The MOOKS stare at him, slack-jawed, but he clearly has no idea he's changed.

MOOK #2: ...B-Boss? That really you?

The BOSS puts his hands on his hips, glaring at the MOOKS impatiently. His chest subtly swells.

BOSS: 'Course I'm me! Who the hell else would I be?

MOOK #1: Well, you're just looking kinda... different, is all.

MOOK #2: (He glances at the BOSS' curves and gulps.) Yeah. You’re… fillin’ out.

BOSS: What's that supposed to mean? You callin' me fat?

MOOK #2: No, boss! You're just puttin' on some weight in... certain places.

BOSS: What are you jokers talking about? (He blinks, a new vulnerability in his eyes, and his voice becomes softer.) You boys don’t really think I’m gettin’ fat, do you? It's so hard to eat well, when you're on the lam.

MOOK #1: No, boss! You look real good, honest.

MOOK #2: Yeah. REAL good.

The BOSS finally looks down and gasps. He hurries over to a full-length mirror, almost screaming when he sees himself.

BOSS: What in hell? Oh, this ain't funny! I'm a broad!

The MOOKS exchange a worried look, way out of their depth. Then MOOK #1 brightens.

MOOK #1: Yeah... but look on the bright side, boss. Now you won't have to chase dames no more. Whenever you wanna see a real cute chick, you can just look in the mirror!

The BOSS glares at him, then goes back to the mirror and turns this way and that, miserably taking in his new reflection. The MOOKS stand there awkwardly, looking a bit flushed and sweaty as they try not to stare too hard at their sexy little BOSS pouting at the mirror. FADE OUT.