GITJ Post 383: More Lawyers!

“That. Was. Awesome!” sang Josie Jensen, medical assistant at what was at the time still Far Horizons Medical Associates.

“You made them look like little boys who, like, came in with the wrong homework," Shanette added, “they scampered away like little rats.

“They barely knew what to do with themselves,” said Stephanie.

Angie had slipped out, disappeared shortly after they did.

Smiling after a job well done, the lead of the female attorneys closed her smart leather briefcase which had been set on Melissa’s desk. Her team had just swooped in and sent the intruding male lawyers packing, demolished them with legalese..

“It’s awesome to watch men get totally emasculated, isn’t it?” agreed Randi. She cast an eye towards Dr. J, who was safe, being tended to by Melissa. He was stood next to where she sat, behind her huge desk. The giant woman was fawning over him, helping him remove his suit jacket and unbuttoning his collar.

“Yeah but I was looking forward to doing it ourselves,” the raven haired Marisela offered, half-dejected as she tried her best to ignore the feeling of what currently wanted to burst from her shoulder blades and out of her back. She’d liked this blouse, actually, and figured it’d be a bummer to see it ruined. “You people stole all our fun.”

“Totally,” Amelia agreed, “these nails have to be good for something. How’d you all get here so quick?”

“Attorney St. Clair has had us watching them for a while, shadowing them in the courts, so we knew exactly what they were doing,” said one of the other well-appointed attorneys, adjusting her jacket and crisp white blouse over a healthy bosom.

At his ex-wife Sheryl’s name, Dr. J’s ears pricked up. These new lawyer-women all apparently worked for her, and for all intents and purposes reminded him of her in her younger years. Jay knew Sheryl's corporate law practice had grown huge, but to command a hit-squad of lawyers like this, a team that could have been her younger sisters? That was weir-

Jay felt himself shiver as Melissa’s hand stroked the back of his head to settle him.

“We've been tracking them,” another blonde attorney continued, “After they managed to get the last of their warrants signed, we figured they were on their way here. We were following right behind them.”

Randi smiled, imagining the five of these blonde Sheryl clones with matching briefcases arriving at the parking lot, all popping out of a black Mercedes like clowns out of a clown car. Clowns in three-inch stilettos and armed with law degrees, d-cups and cease-and-desists. Those dweebs never knew what hit them.

“You seemed so prepared,” Lakshmi fawned, obviously impressed. It was almost a shame, how easily the female attorneys were able to get the men to leave. She and the others -  Randi, Amelia, Josie, etc - had just started changing into…something. But now they were all back to normal. Pity.

“We were prepared, thank you,” another blonde attorney spoke up, “We saw the injunctions they’d put together, all under the authority of a minor judge from upstate. We had our magistrates overrule all his warrants, throw out their motions, got new zoning laws signed.”

“So…you had like ten times more paperwork from more powerful judges, basically,” Josie marveled, smiling.

“Esentiallly, yes,” answered the attorney, returning the smile, “our power and influence in the courts is growing every day. Soon mistakes like these won't be allowed to happen anymore”

That made Josie shiver. She almost groaned.

“So who were these douche bags anyway?” Randi asked with a curl to her lip, “And will they coming  back?”

“Not them,” another lawyer answered, tucking a stray strand of blonde back up into her bun, “We have connections and’ll get them disbarred as soon as possible. They won’t bother you again, they're finished…maybe the judge, too. But there might be others.”

“From where?” someone asked.

“Well, it’s hard to really pin these cells down, they keep moving, but we’re starting to piece together the network that sent them and helped get them what they needed in  court.”

“Should we have, I dunno, followed them?” Stephanie asked.

“Or kept them from leaving?” added Marisela, biting her plump lower lip.

“No,” answered the attorney, “If there are no sheep missing, no one goes hunting for the wolves. The plan is to let them head back to their little holes, report back to their handlers, watch the chatter. “But here, take this, keep these here,” she said, producing a small sheath of paperwork from her briefcase, “it’s a copy of our own restraining orders, in case they do come back. In the meantime we'll bury them in red tape. They shouldn't be able to do anything.” She handed the papers to Randi, closed her briefcase.

“I want them punished,” came Melissa's voice, soft and sudden and cutting through the room from behind the desk. She’d been petting Dr. J’s hair, holding him close and still looking at him. His eyes were on the floor; he was quietly listening. “They tried to take him. I want them all punished.”

A buzz went through the room. Josie’s hair writhed, Marisela’s teeth tingled anew. Dr J just stood there speechless, still marveling - though not at the attorneys’ legal prowess, but at the unspoken she-elephant in the room. What had his girlfriend Melissa just done? What sort of power had she commanded? Just ten minutes ago she’d stood, risen above them all and took charge of the room in a voice that rattled the walls like thunder. And just now she did it again with little more than a whisper. What the hell was happening?

“Are these, like, guys from those people that think they’re some sort of ‘resistance’?” Melissa asked. She sounded normal again, just a little pissed-off.

“We’re pretty certain, yes. There are a few of these anti-feminist cells in the state and we’re trying to identify some of the major players.”

“We’ll get to them all eventually,” another attorney assured her.

“Who are they??” Melissa asked, embers of a smoldering anger heating her voice, “Like,their names. Where do they live?”

“We’re slowly starting to put names to some of them, the people that organized this little stunt today,” said one of the attorneys, “One of them we know has been communicating with someone in this room…”

She looked at Dr. J.

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thanks to RiF for editing work, and ElephantPorn for the image