Weekly Update - 6/18/25

Sometimes, it's just not happening. I try, I sit at the keyboard and sometimes I just even type garbage to try and get something onto paper. There are days where it feels like I'm one step away from "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." (If you don't get that reference, don't feel bad - I didn't see that movie until far later in life than I probably should've.)

This month has been a mess. I swear to you, I keep trying to make things happen and sometimes I can't get anything to work. The worst problem of it is that it's sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy. I get frustrated by not being able to get work done, and it triggers a wave of Imposter Syndrome, where I start to feel like I'm a terrible writer and that people don't really want to read what I'm writing. They're just words and I should be able to put fingers to keyboard and force something out, because it's all crap anyway, and just nobody's caught onto that yet. Keep in mind, Smart Dev knows this a bunch of bullshit, but depression's a sneaky bastard, and it'll find any pathway in it can. (People telling me that work is 'worthless' doesn't help either.)

There's also the stress of the day-to-day world, where, believe it or not, I have both conservative and liberal friends, and neither side is happy. (The liberals are angry about unmarked 'police' grabbing citizens off the streets, beating up liberal politicians for asking questions and the military marching in our cities in violation of Posse Comitatus; the conservatives are angry about the possibility that our 'commander-in-chief' may be signing them up for a war against Iran, when he specifically ran on a 'no new wars' campaign promise, although I don't know why you're expecting him to honor that one - grocery prices still haven't come down, his tariffs are raising the prices on everything and his parade cost more money than DOGE supposedly saved by firing everyone.)

Anyway I appreciate the patience while I'm working through my demons, both mental and physical. (Oh yeah, I'm starting to try and do an hour a day walking outside again, typically late at night, just to get more exercise. Sitting in a chair and angrily staring at it all day long isn't good for my health, I'm certain, but I lost a bunch of the past few months being told to 'stay off my feet.' I don't think that worked out for me how it should've.)

Honestly, I just want a fucking hug. (It being from a beautiful woman would be a nice bonus, but at this point, I'm not picky.)

I'm a few pages into QT2:42 so we'll see if I can get that out in the next day or two, and then roll into all the other stuff I need to be working on. I haven't gotten anywhere near enough content out this month, so I'll see what I can do to rectify that. I don't want to make any promises, but I'm going to be pretty heads down for the foreseeable future and will try and get as much stuff done as quickly as I can and just toss it out there. Maybe it'll be a little sloppier than normal. Hopefully that'll make somebody happy.

I know, I feel like I make these "life's fucked up" posts a couple of times a year, but I've tried to always be honest about how I'm dealing with stressors in my life, self-inflicted or otherwise. I know I'll get through this eventually and back to pumping out content on the regular. If you've been with me long enough, you know that sometimes this shit just happens. I'll snap out of it eventually and just vomit out a bunch of chapters at some point, hopefully relatively soon. At the very latest, my trip to Germany is early next month, and that'll definitely light me up some (and give me plenty of time to type while I'm on planes, in airports and on trains).

Anyway, that's where I'm at. I know it's not what anyone wanted to hear, but I am doing the best I can to take care of me to ensure that blips like this are temporary interruptions and not full stops. I know that, despite what the haters (who're just gonna hate hate hate) say, you folks would rather I keep making stuff, even if it means rough patches here and there. Somebody responded to last week's updates by saying how dare I talk about politics, and they were cancelling their subscription immediately. (Hilariously enough, I looked up that person's subscription - they'd subscribed a few days earlier. I love performative outrage. It's so easy to spot.)

As always, we close with the upcoming public schedule: 6/21 - MG 22 (finale), QTPT22; 6/28 - QT: Selected Servicing 1; 7/5 - Before The Storm 15, QT2:34; 7/12 - Pack 15; 7/19 - Neon Stonehenge 12.