Chapter 540

Nicholas Fury, Director of S.H.I.E.L.D POV.

“Hill, what’s the status on Branner?” I glanced at her reflection in the window as I looked out.

“He’s in the wind, sir.” Hill reported, setting more papers on my desk. “We subtlety nudged him away from the direction of New Mexico like you ordered, he’s heading south towards Mexico and we’re going to gently guide him towards the middle east.”

Good.

“Avoid China, they’ve been watching things a bit too closely.” I grunted.

“Will do sir, I’ll make sure all ships heading to china from Mexico are blocked or full if he tries.” Hill nodded.

“And the status on Harlem?” 

“We’re blaming it on a multitude of gas leaks, sir. We’re throwing a few shady businesses under the bus to cover everything. The ones that had been bribing the right people in the Mayor’s office to avoid legal trouble are going to suffer the worst of it.”

Couldn’t happen to better people.

If there’s any good thing to happen from a roided up rage monster tearing about Harlem, I guess it’s that those assholes get what’s coming to them.

“How much attention is it getting on the news and online?”

“We’re having trouble keeping up, there were a lot of phones recording, sir.” She replied.

Annoying, but not unexpected. “What’s Stark’s situation with the Expo?”

“The Terrorist Attack has been dealt with. Hammer Industires and Justin Hammer are taking the fall while we hide away the tech that was used. Agent Romanoff reports that she was able to pocket some important files that Ivan had hidden from Justin on Stark’s Arc Reactor technology. It’s been sent to the labs to analyze, but first looks don’t seem promising they said.”

Of course it wouldn’t be that easy. But I guess even a few bread crumbs are better than nothing.

“And how’s Stark himself doing?” 

“After you talked to him, he seems to have gotten his act together, sir. He refused a medical check after the incident, but from the looks of things, he should be healthy.”

He better damn be with the week i’ve had so far. If I have to drag my ass back down there to give that grown man a pep talk again, it’s going to be with an ass kicking.

“Use the Stark Expo incident and Stark’s involvement to cover Banner’s little brawl with General Ross’s science experiment. If Stark wants to hog all the spot light, let him. Plaster his face everywhere, make sure all the news are talking about the Stark Expo and the Terrorist attack to cover for it.” And I had a good thought. “And contact Stark, tell him he better get his charities sent over to Harlem and stuff their pockets to help out as punishment for the bullshit he put us through.” 

That should atleast get me some breathing room, the council isn’t going ot be happy that I let Banner to a runner.

Speaking of. “Do we have General Ross in custody yet?”

“The White House is blocking us.” Hill replied.

“Of course they are.” Damn idiots. “Make it clear that if Ross or any of his people go within 100 miles of Banner, they’re getting put down with no warning.”

“I’ll make sure they receive the message, sir.” 

I’m not dealing with Banner rampaging again because Ross can’t get over him like a bad ex.

“Do we have an update on the issue in New Mexico?” I finally asked, hoping this would be the last of a very long week of headache including problems.

“Agent Coulson is on line four, ready to give you a report.”

“Send it through.” I gestured for her to continue. She walked over to my phone and turn it on speaker. “Agent Coulson.”

“Director Fury.” He greeted back. “If you have time, I have the update you requested.”

“Go ahead.” I gave him permission.

“John Doe, Alias given – Kurosaki Ichigo. Stated name – Wilhelm Henry Schweinorg, unverifiable. Presumably Japanese with  mixed Eastern Europoean heritage. Estimated age —” Agent Coulson began reading the report from his end. 

I nodded along, knowing this already. “Skip to the new parts, Coulson. I’ll read the details later.”

“Yes Sir. From the last report, I believe I mentioned the issue in Nigeria may be linked to him.”

“I approved your request to send a team to investigate the land purchase along the Nigeria–Wakanda border and to potentially discover the source of the gold influx into the country.” 

Interpol, CIA, FBI, MI6, Mossad….how many more had been up my ass because the sudden influx of gold that threatened to destabilize the market? If this week wasn’t already enough of a headache, I didn’t want to add economic stability to the growing list of annoyances.

“We were able to acquire a handful of the gold coins used and sent them to various expert. We had a few of our own people note a very faint but noticeable energy signature that they couldn’t identify. However, they said it was completely harmless after several tests. And the historians and history professors we have contact with said that they can’t identify any of the markings or symbols on the coins.”

“So we have nothing on them then.”

“To be blunt, that’s correct.” Coulson didn’t deny it.

Well, knowing that we know nothing is something fortunately. “But you didn’t send a bunch of agents on a gold rush, Coulson. What else did you find out?”

“That’s….difficult to say, sir.”

I let out a slight groan. “It’s one of those, isn’t it?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“Just give it to me straight, Coulson.” I felt another headache coming on.

“I believe I know why he showed an amused reaction when I told him we were sending agents to investigate the land purchase.” Coulson seemed to take a deep breath on the end. “For about two hundred kilometers, at various intervals across the border, there were many large male genitals erected from wood and other materials. Pardon the pun.”

“....come again, Agent?”

“They also spewed water when any of our agents approached.”

“Agent.” I enuciated because I wasn’t sure I heard correctly. “Coulson.” I corrected. “You’re one of the few Agents I trust almost blindly. Please repeat what you said without any embellishments.”

Even Maria had a confused look on her face.

Coulson let out a sigh. “There are dozens of giant wooden Phalluses propped up across the border….Sir.” He said it more plainly.

I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “Why?”

“I don’t know, Sir.”

“And they….spray water when you approach.”

“Yes Sir.”

“Does it happen how I assume it does?”

“Unfortunately, sir.” Coulson replied. “We’re just happy it’s only water.”

…..small mercies.

“And you trust the report from the Agents?”

“I have video and pictures added.” Coulson stated. “And I trust them, sir.”

“Coulson.”

“Yes, sir?”

“What the hell suddenly happened to the world this week?” Last week was completely normal. And now, suddenly, we have presumably Aliens falling from the sky, rage monsters tearing up parts of New York, and Stark flying around play super hero.

What has the world turned into?

“I’m afraid I’m not done, sir.”

“Of course you’re not, it would have been too easy. Proceed, Agent.” Thankfully, I hid a full bottle of whisky in my desk yesterday.

“There are some strange phenomena occurring around them as well. I said that they sprayed water when the agents approached, but if they attempt to get too close, they seemingly get confused and lost. They attempted to shoot at one of them, but all their shots were off from missaiming. One of them had the idea to throw a grenade at one, and….well, he almost forgot to let go of it before it exploded. His squad managed to get it out of his hand and safely away before it exploded.”

“....back to boot camp or permanent desk duty, make them choose.” I do not need an agent in the field that throws explosives at unknown variables. 

“They could use another round at boot camp, sir.” Coulson agreed. 

“Anything else concerning the mystery dicks that now blanket Nigeria’s border, Agent?” 

“Something to look into later, Sir. The agents noticed that the locals were acting…..strange. They weren’t alone when they arrived, unexpectedly, quite a few Wakandans were present and attempting to dismantle them as well.”

“Strange how?” I asked.

“Strange like they noted a few quirks aligned with what they would expect from other intelligence agencies. And considering we have no knowledge on a Wakanda intelligence agency, much less them having the resources to train one, I believe it’s worth mentioning.”

Well, they saved their paychecks atleast. If it turns out to be something, I’ll let them keep their current pay when they get out of boot camp for the second time.

“I’ll pass it to another team, you have your hands full right now.” It can’t be coincidence if the giant dicks around Wakanda appeared and Wakanda is showing some strange signs. “Where’s your mystery man now? And the other one you mentioned.”

“I let both of them go.” He said simply.

If it were anyone else, I would not have merely raised an eyebrow. “Taking the soft approach, Coulson?”

“That’s right, Sir.” Coulson confirmed. “Both of them had different attitudes that made it difficult to get cooperation. And it turns out that the one named Thor is acquainted with one of the Scientists that was on the short list for the Top Secret Project you were recruiting for.”

“The Cube?”

“Yes sir.”

I hummed at his reasoning. I had no reason to distrust him and he almost always brought results. “And the missing hammer?”

“Still missing.”

I grunted again. “I assume they’re still under surveillance?”

“Correct.” He said quickly. “They seem to be living together at the moment, or atleast as far as we can tell. The agents we had following them had lost track of John Doe – Wilhelm, several times and for quite a few hours.”

“And your thoughts on everything? Give me your judgement as it stand now.” 

“Probably Aliens, Sir. The readings we got from the Hammer were like nothing on Earth. However, it doesn’t appear the two of them knew each other beforehand. Not to mention that neither of them showed up properly on any countries’ major databases.”

“But you noted that one of them might be Japanese.”

“Country of origin, but perhaps not planet of origin.” Coulson responded. “If he or others like him are on earth, they may be living in Japan and picked up certain things.”

I couldn’t argue with the hypothesis atleast. “And what are they up to now?” Because I sure damn hope it’s not another Stark situation.

“Nothing much, sir. Thor recently got arrested by the local sheriff for fighting with someone in the streets, but it didn’t seem worth getting involved in.”

I frowned and looked back out the window. “Who did he fight with, agent?”

“One moment, sir.” Coulson spoke, and I could hear him saying something in the background with some papers being shuffled around. “.....it appears that the victim was neither named nor given a statement. From the report, it says that the victim ran as soon as the police arrived and turned their back on them after tasing Thor. There was an ATM across the street that caught some things, I can pull the picture if you want.”

“Do it.” Something didn’t sit right with me.

From what Coulson said, this Thor tore through a dozen or so agents with ease, yet he just randomly gets into a street brawl?

That doesn’t seem right.

Several moments passed and I noticed the silence. “Speak to me, Agent.”

“Sorry sir, I was reviewing the footage and noticed something particular.” Coulson replied. “On the victim’s right shoulder, his shirt was torn and you can faintly see a small corner of a tattoo of some sort. A few dots and something else undescinerable at a glance that looked rather similar to the tattoos that the Agents over at the Nigerian border sneaked of the Wakandans. I can’t say I’m familiar with the cultures across Africa, and I don’t want to make assumptions, but coindiences like this aren’t something to overlook.”

“I’ll prioritize the group that’s going to investigate Wakanda.” My instinct is never wrong, I knew it was something.

Considering who was involved, it’s unlikely they were there for Thor. “What’s your take on this Wilhelm person, Coulson?”

“Arrogant.” Coulson immediately replied. “Different than Stark. It’s a more subtle arrogance that comes from an almost unwavering confidence. He wasn’t concerned when guns were pointed on him, there wasn’t a hint of fear. And he treated the ‘arrest’ as a joke the entire time. I am of the thought that he could have escaped whenever he wanted, regardless of if we tried to stop him.”

“Even with Agent Hawkeye there?”

“Call it instinct, Sir.” Coulson replied.

I can’t very well dismiss his own instinct when I was just praising my own.

But this is why Coulson is one of my top agents. 

“Is he an immediate threat?” I finally asked.

“I don’t believe so, sir.” Coulson replied after giving it a moment of thought. “I attempted to use his own arrogance against him and see what I could learn. And while I did learn a few things that I believe he didn’t intend to give me, he did say that he only showed up to see the Hammer. And contrary to most of what he said when I interrogated him, I believe he was speaking the truth about that.”

“I’ll trust your judgement for now, Coulson.”

It sounded like he had the current situation as handled as it could be. It wasn’t the approach I would go with, but he gets results, so I would let him do it his way.

“I need you to – “

“Hang on, Director.” There were various sounds coming from his end that started to make the call start buzzing. “We’re experiencing another atmospheric anomaly, can I call you back, sir?”

“Within the hour or we assume the worst, agent.” I told him and the cut abruptly cut off. “Now, Hill, tell me again about those supposed vampires in new york? And the Vatican is stonewalling us?”

@***@

Jeanne POV

“This dress is really pretty, are you sure it’s okay for me to wear it?” I looked at myself in the mirror, I wasn’t used to wearing something so beautiful and elaborate.

“Oh my dear daughter, this is far from what you are worth.” Frigga reassured me, but I just felt a little embarrassed. “And if it makes you feel better, this is one of my old dresses that has some sentimental value to me.”

“It suits her.” Sif also said.

“See? Even Sif over there, who refuses to participate, also agrees.” Frigga shot her a look, making the other girl huff.

“A dress is difficult to move around in while fighting.” Sif defended. “Here, hold my sword, try to swing it.” She practically shoved it in my hands.

“I – “ I paused, actually feeling the sword. “This is heavier than I thought it would be, but it’s very well balanced. What’s this thing inside.” I inspected it closely as curiosity got the better of me.

Sif seemed to perk up. “You have a good eye for weapons. I saw some of how the mortals across the universe wage war and I had a mechanism integrated into my blade.” She held it up and both sides of the blade pulled apart and an energy began to gather between them before dissipating and the blade shifted back seamlessly. “It gatheres my divine power and releases it in a blast.”

“It’s very impressive!” I clapped in awe. “I’m surprise though, that seems….” I didn’t know the right word.

Sif and Frigga shared a look and let out a little laugh.

“Did you think we were unaware of the advancements of technology with the mortals?” Frigga smiled coyly.

“Admittedly, some of us are completely oblivious. I believe Thor never cared to learn about anything he could destroy with his hammer.” Sif grumbled.

“We keep to our roots and traditions because we choose to.” Frigga smiled warmly. “And most important, we are gods. It is the perogative of mortals to continue forward unwavering. As gods we simply watch over them and offer help when its needed.”

Well….that’s true. Even as a servant, firearms and that stuff couldn’t harm me, nor could it even hit me if I was trying. I could only imagine it’s the same for actual gods.

“Perhaps we have neglected Midgard considering it is part of the Nine Realms.” Sif muttered.

“Perhaps. It’s easy to forget the passage of the years the same ways the mortals do. It feels like just yesterday that you all went down there and played around.” Frigga looked nostalgic. “But it’s also not a very good idea for us to overly involve ourselves either. It would be rather crass of us to make a big show of it now, especially when all the other gods also left Midgard some time ago.”

“The days of old are still reminisced about in the taverns.” Sif nodded. 

“Mmm, but that’s in the past.” Frigga shook her head. “Now, to more important things. Such as, does my daughter have a boy she fancies?” Frigga looked at me.

“Neh!?” I was surprised by the question! “There’s nothing like that!!”

Sif pursed her lips and Frigga did the same.

“Oh dear, it seems that she’s already smitten.”

“So it appears.” Sif agreed.

“It’s not like that!” I pouted. “Wilhelm and I are just F-friends!”

“Ah, a name to put on the mysterious boy then.” Frigga smiled.

“He must be a valiant warrior if you fancy him.” Sif nodded. “What deeds has he accomplished that makes him worthy of you?”

“W-what? He doesn’t need to do anything to be worthy of me – “ My eyes widened. “I mean, it’s not like that!!!”

They both shared a knowing look and smile, laughing at me.

“H-he always says that he’s not a good person but he’s always helping me and other people.” I covered my face because I couldn’t bare to look at them. “He bullies me all the time! B-but….he also goes out of his way to make me happy. And– and even momma liked him….and when we’re together, I get a warm feeling in my chest and he always makes me smile.”

“Well…..I certainly hope I get to meet him at some point.” Frigga giggled.

“Why not now?” Sif asked.

Frigga shot her another look, but this time with a frown. “Sif, do you think that would really work?”

Sif awkwardly crossed her arms. “It was worth a shot.”

Frigga shook her head. “I can’t go against my husband’s own decrees to visit Thor, atleast not yet. Perhaps if it takes years, then maybe I can sneak away without Odin getting upset. But for now, I must keep my distance as much as it makes my heart ache.”

“You could write him a letter, couldn’t you? And I could give it to him for you!” I offered.

Frigga smiled and fixed a little crease on the dress. “It’s the reasoning behind it. Thor needs a chance to step away and grow as a person.” She paused and looked off into the distance. “However, that only pertains to me. It’s about time for you and your friends to plan your daring escape.”

“Queen Mother?” Sif furrowed her brow in confusion. 

Frigga stood up. “Well, it believe it’s time for me to go attend to some Queenly duties, or such. And wouldn’t you know, Loki is currently preoccupied with dignitary from Alfheim.” She hummed, getting up. “The three of your companions are currently pacing outside of the gardens, please do let them know that Loki will be occupied for atleast another hour, so as to not bother him.”

“Thank you, Queen Mother!” Sif seemed to realize what was going on.

“Don’t thank me, Sif.” Frigga let out a sigh. “Know that I will stand by my son as he acts as Reagent, and that whatever actions you take, they do come with consequences. If you so choose to walk that path, know that you will be at his mercy should things not go the way you want.” She warned lightly. “But please see my newest daughter home safely. We’ve kept her away from Midgard long enough.”

“Thank you for the lovely time, Miss Frigga.” I bowed my head.

“Oh sweetheart, you of all people never have to bow your head within Asgard.” She pulled me into a hug fast enough that it left me surprised. “And this isn’t goodbye, but let us settle some things first and have Odin come out from his sleep and then you can get the proper experience as a princess.”

The Queen quickly left, leaving just me and Sif.

“Come, we shall take you back to Midgard. And bring Thor’s hammer.” She made sure to remind me as I almost forgot it on the table.

Just as she said, the three from earlier were waiting right outside for us.

“No time to talk, we need to get to the Bifrost.” Sif cut them off before they had time to speak.

“I have a skeiðar ready on the other side of the palace.” Hogun spoke up, I remembered his name, but it was the first time I heard him speak. In fact, he just had stood there every time, looking intimidating and rather stoic. But the others looked at him strangely. “....what? I was going to go fishing. I have hobbies.”

@****@

“I don’t mean to question it, but isn’t the Bifrost on the other side of Asgard? And this is a boat?” I looked around, following their lead as I climbed into the boat. It was like the ones the Grail gave me from memory from the viking era.

The shared looks between them and chuckled. 

“I forgot she was a Midgardian.” Fandral laughed, patting the wooden side.

“Remember what was said.” Sif spoke gently, grabbing a rope that went to the sails. “We keep traditions and our roots because we choose to..” The boat lifted up into the air, a faint humming underneath it and I could faintly see the air being displaced. And rather quickly, it soared over the water and around the palace really quickly. 

“If we had time, we could just take her right to the stars and take the long way to Midgard.” Fandral smiled merrily. “I’m sure the Kree the next system over wouldn’t mind letting us use their star lanes.”

“That’ll take over a week, we dont’ have that time.” Sif frowned, pulling the rope and the sail turned, jerking the boat to quickly turn as it headed towards the place I appeared initially. 

It didn’t take long at all to reach it, we didn’t even have to walk across the beautiful rainbow bridge! 

Though, the landing was a bit rough, and hasty, but that’s to be expected.

I hope we don’t get in trouble for doing this.

“Heimdal, please open the Brifrost to Midgard.” Sif called out, marching right in as soon as the boat stopped sliding.

Myself and the others were quickly jumping off to keep up.

Heimdal didn’t even look back. “I am under orders not to open the ‘Bifrost for anyone.”

“Who’s orders?” Sif scowled.

“The King’s.” Heimdal said simply and it looked like Sif wanted to say something but held back.

“Do you swear allegiance to Loki now?”

“I swear allegiance to Asgard, Lady Sif. You would do well to remember that.” He glared at her, making her slightly reel back. “Loki is acting King, and I follow his orders as long as Asgard is not in danger.”

Sif looked at the others, and slowly, their grips on their weapons seemed to tighten.

Heimdal noticed it, of course, and his grip on his own sword tightened, preparing for a fight.

“Um, Mr. Heimdal.” I went between them, not wanting them to fight. “He just said that you’re not allowed to open it, right? Then can I open it?”

The others went still and silent.

“I have received no order to reject you.” Heimdal smiled welcomingly, and he turned around, lowering himself to a knee and presented his sword to me. “Princess, my sword is at your disposal.”

“....if it was that easy, why didn’t you just say so?” Volstagg huffed. “And here I thought we were going to have to fight.” He let out a hearty laugh.

“Only she among you has the authority to request such an action. If any of you were try the same, I would have denied you.” He said sternly, before turning to me. “Please.” He said again, holding the sword out ot me.

“Thank you, Mr. Heimdal.” I gracefully took the sword from his hands. “It’s very heavy.” I held it up.

“It is heavy with the weight of responsibility. For the Bifrost has the power to move to anywhere in the Universe, but it also holds the power to destroy worlds if one cruel enough.” Heimdal spoke with an air of authority and pride.

“How do I use it?” I asked.

Heimdal smiled again. “Simply insert it into the mechanism, it’s already locked onto the same spot that you were originally retrieved from.”

“....how convenient.” Sif shot him a look, but Heimdal simply acted aloof.

“Know that I am not allowed to retrieve you until I receive new orders, Princess.” Heimdal spoke again as I held the sword up over the mechanism, ready to insert it. “But, I believe that won’t be a problem for you.” He said with a knowing look in his eyes.

Ah, he must have seen Wilhelm!

I slid the sword in, and the golden walls around us began to rotate, and thrummed with power and purpose.

“Come, let’s not waste time.” Sif grabbed me and pulled me into the light that shot off intot he depth of the stars and I felt myself be pulled along with it.

I vaguely recalled the feeling beforehand, but I was more prepared for it now and felt the rainbow light wisk me away as the star passed by like fire flies.

So much distance travelled, suns and moons, stars and planets that were uncountable, yet I could blink and thousands of them passed by until I felt gravity take hold again and everything jerk back into place.

I hit the ground, almost not catching myself, and I was right back where I came from.

In the same room too, and all the machines and the tent and…..people around us.

“Oh, Midgardians!” Volstagg happily said, waving at them.

“Um….hello?” I looked around at them, and my eyes landed on who I thought was in charge.

Sif was quiet, looking at me, then at them.

“Hello to you as well.” The man at the first smiled. “Welcome to Earth, is it your first time?”

“Um…no? I was born here…” I said kind of awkwardly. 

“We don’t have time for this, we must find Thor. Move out of the way, Midgardians.” Sif said rather impatiently.

“Sif, be nice, It’s their country.” I pulled on her sleeve. She stiffened and looked like she relented.

The man at the front continued to smile, but all their weapons were pointing at us still. “I’m Agent Phil Coulson, may I know who I’m speaking to?”

“You speak to Princess Jeanne D’Arc.” Sif held her chin high, answering for me before I could get a word in.

Agent Coulson blinked in surprise, looking at her then at me. “Funny, that’s the same name as a famous Saintess from France.”

“Erm….well, I don’t really consider myself a Saintess….” It was embarrassing when people said that to me! Atleast, when I wasn’t doing important things, but I was taken off guard by everything so I wasn’t in the right mindset! Now, they were looking at me weirdly too. “I-if it isn’t too much trouble, could we ask for directions? We’re looking for a couple people – “

“Thor, Wilhelm, or both?” Agen Coulson spoke up. 

“You know where Thor is!?” Sif’s eyes lit up.

Agent Coulson smiled brightly for some reason. “I know exactly where they are. Why don’t I give you all a ride?”

“It seems I underestimate you, Midgardian.” Sif looked pleased, yet dismissive of the entire situation. 

“Should I leave the Hammer back here?” I asked him. “I didn’t mean to take it before, I’m sorry.”

Agent Coulson seemed to study me carefully. “You know what, why don’t you bring it with you.”

“Okay!” I’m glad that I wasn’t in trouble. “Did you meet Wilhelm?”

“Oh yes, we’re acquainted. You might even call us friends.” 

“That’s great!” I smiled happily. 

“Yes, great.” Coulson continued to smile. “Why don’t we talk about him some more on the drive into town.”

@***@

A/N

Just rounding things out before shit hits the fan. Fury’s week gets even weirder because of Wilhelm. And Jeanne is a cinnamon roll like usual. 

Cyclops chapter is next, then probably a spooder chapter.

And happy Valentines day to everyone even if it’s a little late at this point!