Chapter 557
Added 2025-05-12 13:42:19 +0000 UTCTruthfully, I could have just taken out Dawnbreaker and turned them all into dust.
I didn’t want quick or easy.
I didn’t want clean.
And she certainly knew how to make an entrance. I’m pretty sure I would be utterly terrified if I were in their place. Her presence was utterly deafening, even compared to what I had done moments prior.
Where I just casually strode over, not bothering to emphasize my presence, Salem practically radiated terror.
She gently held her hand up towards the ceiling.
The spell I had cast—the one that kept the ‘blood’ from drizzling on me from the sprinkler system—wasn’t skin tight. It was more like a small bubbled area around me, and her hand left that safety to feel the blood lightly fall onto her palm as she pulled it back in with a frown.
It’s not like she didn’t know what was going on. When I called her and had her come over, she saw all the babies. Frankly, even she, who had killed villages and such in the past—well, seeing people use infants as livestock was disgusting.
She took one look at it and asked me who I wanted dead.
If I weren’t in such a shitty mood at the moment, I might have been swooning a bit.
She turned her head slightly, red eyes glowing faintly in the darkness.
“What do you want me to do?” she asked. Her voice was soft, almost gentle.
I didn’t hesitate.
“I want them to know what it’s like to be treated as prey.”
Salem scrunched her nose.
Her gaze swept over the vampires like one might glance at an anthill.
Just complete and utter disdain.
“Very well.”
Then she stepped forward—and the Grimm stirred behind her in the shadows, hundreds if not thousands of red eyes all staring out from the walls.
A sharp, metallic screech cut through the rising tension.
Up above, on the second-story balcony that overlooked the main floor, Mr. VIP vampire had clenched too hard on the metal handrail and turned it into scrap metal.
I rolled my eyes because the look on his face really told everyone how he thought himself some type of badass.
Even among the hundreds of vampires filling the space, his presence now dominated the room.
For some reason, he showed not an iota of fear.
I had no idea if it was bravery or utter stupidity. However, at this point, I didn’t quite care.
“I don’t know what swamp spat you out,” he said, voice deep and deliberate, “but you’re in the wrong nest, witch.”
I raised an eyebrow at his insult. The way he said that sounded like more than just a term used in an insulting manner. Like he deliberately called her a witch, emphasizing it.
Curious…
Salem didn’t respond either. Maybe I would have been vocal about ‘defending her,’ but even if her face stayed utterly emotionless, I could pick up on the faint annoyance she now radiated.
One very important thing I learned early on about having a harem of strong women is that you need to know when and when not to ‘defend their honor,’ as it were. Sometimes, they enjoyed me stepping in, but a lot of the time, they’d much rather be the ones beating an idiot senseless.
I can’t say I don’t understand it, on either part.
Having one of my girls step up to ‘defend me’ does give me the warm and fuzzies when it happens.
She simply turned her head and looked at me.
“Why does this insect speak with such arrogance?” She asked, uncaring at the many ‘insects’ looking at her with bloodlust in their gazes.
I gave a small shrug.
“Carefully cultivated self-delusions of grandeur from living in an echo chamber, I would assume.” I said pointedly. “That, or they’re really fucking stupid. Which is also a highly probable answer.”
“Ah.” She spoke as if all questions had been answered. “I believe I understand. Some insignificant insects acquire a modicum of power and believe themselves important.”
I gestured lazily toward the crowd below.
I nodded. “They’re so low on the totem pole that most things don’t even bother to acknowledge them, which led to this.”
Salem just hummed.
The VIP vampire slammed a foot onto the balcony’s edge, voice booming out over the room.
“Take them!”
Dozens of vampires surged forward, fangs bared, hands like claws. Any kind of semblance of rationality or humanity went right out the window. Frankly, I didn’t know who the beasts were at this point, the vampires or Salem’s Grimm.
Though neither of us moved nor made even a motion to stop them or to defend.
A blur of black and bone leapt from the shadows.
The first vampire never made it halfway. Literally ripped in half with a scream.
The second Beowulf slammed into him mid-air, jaws snapping, claws raking. The two figures twisted and tumbled to the floor, and only one stood up.
It’s kind of ironic that Beowolves look like werewolves.
Was it racist to use Beowolves, considering that they don’t get along with vampires almost anywhere?
Dozens more Beowolves erupted from the darkness, a wave of raw savagery tearing into the oncoming vampires like a coordinated pack of nightmares.
It was rather intense. Might have even been a good show in better times. Unfortunately, the Beowolves weren’t exactly the smartest bunch, mostly operating off some kind of preprogrammed instinct.
They aren’t living beings; their flaw is their adaptability in a fight.
Well, at least these ones. I knew that some Grimm got smarter if they lived for a very long time, but I know Salem wasn’t taking those out with what were basically just her lowest-level minions.
On the balcony, the VIP vampire scoffed.
“Mutts?” he spat. “This is what you’re so confident in? Hounds from the gutter?”
Salem didn’t even blink.
She crossed her arms, expression unreadable, eyes never leaving the carnage.
The Grimm began to thin. While the occasional Beowulf would tear apart a vampire, it was becoming more common that several vampires would take down a Beowulf without dying. Though, that isn’t to say they were coming out unscathed.
It was fairly obvious these vampires had no real combat experience. They were just relying on their superhuman abilities.
Hell, most of them were wearing clubbing clothing and didn’t look like they’ve ever worked a hard day in their life.
It was certainly an odd sight, though.
Two groups of monsters just tearing into each other with reckless abandon.
The VIP vampire let out a barking laugh, spreading his arms as if vindicated when the final Beowolf fell. With a roar, one vampire grabbed the head of it before it had a chance to dissipate and held it up, followed by shouts on their side.
“Arrogant insects, was it?” he mocked. “Delusions of grandeur?”
He mimicked our words, mocking them with glee.
Salem didn’t respond; her small eyebrow rose up.
Then something huge slammed into the floor.
An Ursa Major burst through the shadows layering the wall, covered in jagged bony spikes, bellowing loud enough to shake the rafters.
It plowed through the vampires like a battering ram, crushing three beneath its fists before hurling a fourth into the far wall hard enough to leave a crater.
Boarbatusks followed next—muscular, tusked beasts barreling out of the shadows with speed that defied their size. Their bladed tusks ripped through vampire flesh, flinging bodies aside like dolls.
More Beowulfs returned, pouring from every crevice and crack in the walls—an unending tide of black death.
Creeps and other smaller Grimm skittered out behind them, crawling across the ceiling and floor like a very bad or really good horror movie.
And then—
A hand.
It reached out of the abyss behind Salem, fingers curling grotesquely, as if pulling itself free, rising from the shadows.
A Nuckelavee burst out.
Its horse-like lower body scraped against the concrete as it dragged itself free, the grotesque humanoid torso atop it letting out a low, grating wheeze.
It stood tall enough to nearly touch the ceiling of the warehouse. The very large, industrial-size warehouse that could fit houses inside with ease.
The screams started again immediately; the semi-coordination the vampires had was demolished when the Ursa first plowed through them like an out-of-control car. Before, it was like both Salem and them were sort of playing; now, it was quite thoroughly a bloodbath.
The haughtiness was gone. The arrogance was gone. The sense of superiority had run away and was nowhere to be seen.
They were being hunted.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t some grand setting, a warehouse, but beggars couldn’t be choosers.
It was still most welcome.
They deserved no less. I wasn’t one that took pleasure in others’ pain or death. Unless I get pissed off, I usually just make heads roll and leave it at that. But every so often, I meet people that deserve a special bit of attention.
I wonder how the people back on Remnant would react to seeing the Grimm being the good guys for a change.
A vampire that screamed and cried out as a Boarbatusk impaled it on its horns was perhaps the best answer I could have asked for.
I rested my head against Salem’s leg, and she looked down at me and gave me a small smile. An odd contrast to the screams and cries, the limbs being ripped apart and devoured, and the fighting happening inside.
Similarly to me, I don’t think Salem particularly takes pleasure in wanton destruction or violence unless it’s earned her attention.
Mostly some sort of chore to her, if I’m being honest. However, she too looked like she was a bit more…enthused as her Grimm left vampire corpses in their wake.
I gently pulled on her sleeve. “Leave the idiot up top alive; I got a friend that would appreciate it.”
Salem looked at me, then looked up at him, the vampire—their leader, some VIP, some sort of higher-up. I didn’t actually know his status, and I didn’t care. But he looked utterly terrified now, as if he realized how he had fucked up.
Really, a lot of people seem to lose their survival instincts after gaining a bit of power; it’s rather sad if you think about it.
The giant Nuckelavee reached out, its large hand raked against the upper level as the VIP vampire ducked for cover.
I could see him and a few others nearly tumbling down the stairs as they tried to escape. It looked like he had personal guards—how quaint.
I reinforced my hearing so I could pick up what they were saying over the noise of everything else happening.
“Get to the door! Get me out of here!” He hissed, nearly throwing his guards forward.
But Thorum stood there, as if forgotten by everyone else.
I don’t know why the vampires still alive hadn’t tried to plow through him to escape, but maybe it’s some sort of unconscious need to listen to orders from their superiors?
Vampires are weird depending on where they come from, so who knows?
They pushed through several of their own, even grabbing some random vampires and throwing them at any Grimm nearby so they could make a clean escape.
The Nuckelavee was also getting swarmed. Vampires jumping onto it, trying to tear at it, but it was like mosquitos trying to take down an elephant.
One vampire I noticed made the bad decision to try and drink its blood.
That was amusing to watch.
The first guard went to grab at Thorum, not even bothering to yell at him or tell him to move.
Thorum, good-natured as he is, was also in about the same mood as me as well.
He grabbed the vampire by the head and slammed him into the ground, hard enough that it cracked the concrete.
The vampire was no longer moving.
The others trying to escape had frozen.
Thorum smiled happily, though I know it was more forced than anything.
Apparently, they decided that numbers would win them the day. Maybe it was their arrogance still deluding them, or maybe they were just desperate.
But they tried to lunge at Thorum, and he crossed his arms, letting them attack him. His aura shimmered golden, like dragon scales all over his body, and they couldn’t even get past it.
Thorum then started throwing punches. Punches that were used to fight dragons.
Vampires were very much not dragons, especially this bunch. Thorum looked awkward and embarrassed as his fist went through one vampire’s chest completely and out the other side.
The bashfulness with which he dislodged himself perhaps instilled even more horror in them than if he had just killed them outright.
Rather quickly, the vampire that had been mouthing off found himself all alone.
More literal than figurative, too, as the vampires in the building had nearly all died. Ripped and torn by real predators.
The Nuckelavee reached across the room and grabbed the frightened and squirming vampire leader, depositing him right in front of both me and Salem as it stood there protectively.
“Hello.” Salem said sharply as he hit the ground, Salem staring down at him. “This is a much more appropriate eye level, is it not?”
The sounds around us had slowly faded, leaving but Grimm still standing.
One vampire was left within the building.
He looked around, and he too noticed as well. The term audible gulp was rather apt in this case as he swallowed hard.
Salem raised her hands; he nearly fell backwards, but it wasn’t for him. It singled out the shadows receding, pulling the Grimm back inside, disappearing as if they were never there in the first place. And it all wrapped up neatly, merging back into Salem’s own shadow.
“Have I ever told you how terrifying you are?” I asked her.
Salem pursed her lips, trying not to look pleased with my compliment. “Do you wish to deal with him, or would you like me to do so?”
By that, she wanted to ask me if I wanted her to keep him alive but wished he wasn’t so.
I sighed. ”Stupify.” I flicked my wand, shooting the spell at him.
First time I’ve used it on a living being, but it’s a rather neat spell. A stunning spell stuns a person, as you would expect.
“Lady Salem!” Thorum came stepping over the fresh corpses, not even batting an eye at the dead vampires. “Truly, you would be a fearsome foe to have!”
Salem’s lips twitched a little. She wasn’t used to being complimented, well, by anyone other than me, when she does something like this.
She’s very much like Meridia, in that she doesn’t care about things outside her immediate circle, but she likes it when those within the circle appreciate her.
Thorum, by association of being my best friend, is within the circle, so she likes the compliment, even if she doesn’t show it.
Salem gracefully took a seat next to me, and I adjusted myself to have my head on her shoulder. I felt her fingers start running through my hair as Thorum hopped up and joined us.
The moment lingered for a bit, maybe ten or twenty minutes. I’m not usually this…melancholic. I can get over things quickly. Maybe it was just the alcohol in me that held it in place.
“Are you well?” Salem finally asked me.
“Hmm, just remembering how shitty the world can be sometimes.”
“Aye.” Thorum took out a bottle, taking a drink. “It is a reminder.”
Otherwise, the warehouse was dead quiet—save for the soft, wet squish of someone stepping through entrails.
Blade walked in through the front doors.
His coat flared with each step, boots echoing against the blood-soaked concrete. His gaze swept across the carnage, over the shredded vampires, the black ichor from fallen Grimm, and the claw marks carved deep into the walls.
Then his eyes landed on Salem.
His hand almost went to one of his blades. Salem, too, looked at him, and I could see her just flicking her wrist in an instant, casting spells, if she got annoyed.
“Peace.” I held a hand up. “She’s mine.” I took her hand, giving that more meaning than he probably acknowledged in that moment.
Blade stared at us for a while, but he didn’t reach for his weapon either.
“What the hell happened here?” he asked, voice low, tight with caution.
I spread my arms. “Aggressive surveillance.”
“Very aggressive.” Thorum raised his bottle as if to toast to it, downed it, and then threw it at the idiot vampire still stunned on the ground.
Petty, but deserved.
You know, I don’t actually know if he’s conscious or aware in that state. His eyes are wide open, but he might not have a presence of mind while like that. Something I’ll have to look into later, because that would be kind of terrifying in its own way. I have no mouth, but I must scream.
But Blade didn’t laugh, and we didn’t either.
He looked back at Salem, then at the stunned vampire slumped unconscious at our feet.
“Explain.”
I tilted my head. “You’re a half-vampire who hunts vampires, right?”
Blade frowned. “…Yes.”
I pointed over at Thorum, who was currently trying to flick gore off his elbow without making a mess.
“He’s the same thing,” I said. “But with dragons.”
Thorum froze. Looked up.
And gave a sheepish wave.
Technically, it was kind of correct. I just didn’t care enough right now to give a full essay-level explanation on Thorum’s existence.
“…Hi.”
Blade blinked once. Just once.
“I’m a Mage.” I decided to use a commonly known terminology. “Salem here is a…witch? Is it okay to call you that?”
“It’s accurate.” Salem said nonchalantly.
I nodded, settling on Witch then. I know Medea doesn’t like being called it, and it has different connotations depending on where it’s said.
“…The fuck?”
That’s also accurate.
It looked like he wanted to ask questions, but I think he just decided not to. He seems like the type that doesn’t care unless it affects his work.
Blade kept staring at the unconscious vampire.
“So, how’d your hunt go?” I asked, knowing he went off to try and hunt down some big, bad vampire leader.
“He ran before I could get him.” Blade grunted, then scowled.
“Unfortunate.”
Blade just grunted again, looking back down at the vampire on the floor. “Is this guy the one who ran this place?”
“Yup,” he responded casually. “Real arrogant shite for being such a moron.”
“Sounds about right.” Blade snorted. “I’ll take him off your hands and see if I can’t get anything important from him before he gets a morning view of the sun.”
“Hold your horses, Dracula.” I held a hand up. “Got a friend who asked me to keep him alive.”
Blade raised an eyebrow.
“Ever heard of S.H.I.E.L.D.?” I asked, then blinked. “The acronym, government organization stuff.”
“No.” Blade responded, seemingly frowning.
“They handle bullshit like this, the weird stuff. I have a friend there, and I gave him a heads-up to come on over. They should be arriving soon and asked me to keep one of their leaders here.” I gestured to the idiot. “If you want, you can bail before they arrive; I won’t say anything if you want to keep off any reports. But if you want to stay…Agent Coulson is a good guy; it might be worth talking to him.”
I liked Coulson; I wouldn’t mind pointing people his way that would be worth talking to. Blade was…also kind of a straight shooter from what I knew of him at this point.
He didn’t leave us to ‘die’ when he could have. And he was hunting down vampires; it's hard to argue against that.
“...government?” Blade repeated. “Really?” He seemed genuinely surprised.
“Worried they’ll judge you for being a half vampire?”
Blade snorted. “I’m more worried about being a Black man with a bunch of unregistered weapons.”
Did…he just make a joke?”
@***@
Blade stuck around.
For the roughly…hour it took for people to arrive. Admittedly, I hadn’t actually sent the information until things were settled.
As Shield Agents swarmed the building, he hung back slightly, eyeing some windows if he needed to escape.
It’s funny, this warehouse didn’t have fire escapes or other exits. Maybe that’s why the vampires picked it out originally, but poor code enforcement was their undoing.
Or something, they were probably screwed either way, just a little ironic.
There was certainly a…scene to investigate. They didn’t come in guns blazing, but it was clear they were ready for a fight, not necessarily from us.
Some heavy equipment they were packing.
And it seemed to knock any wind out of their sails once they saw the carnage.
Sorry, not sorry.
However, my eyes lit up. “Coulson!”
Agent Coulson walked in, looking around, seemingly burning it into memory before he eyed us on the other side of the room. He took a long roundabout path towards us, one that wasn’t covered in literal pools of blood.
Thankfully, the sprinklers had turned off.
Honestly, I should have done so sooner, but…. I was worried about tampering with the thing and actually killing the infants. It looked so badly set up that a wrong hit on the equipment might cause some damage.
Granted, the infants were…dead in all ways that mattered; it would be very disrespectful to treat them so carelessly.
My healing magic was good at many things, but it was also weak in others. Blood loss wasn’t something I could ‘heal’ in a normal sense like this.
“Mr. Schweinorg.” Coulson greeted me. .” He eyed each of them.
“I didn’t expect you to actually show up; weren’t you still in New Mexico?” Because the whole Loki thing was…only a couple of days ago.
“I was no longer needed over there and was on my way back to the office in upstate New York.” He responded. “I figured I would take a detour since you’re not my responsibility.”
Well, that sounds rough.
“Introductions?”
“Greetings, son of Coul, I’m Thorum, friend of Wilhelm!” Thorum was happy to introduce himself.
Coulson raised an eyebrow.
“No relation to the other Thor, just so you know.” I quickly added.
Coulson nodded.
I gently raised up Salem’s hand that I still held tightly. “This is Salem, my woman.” I may have said it with a bit of pride. Salem acknowledged him slightly but was cold. “He threw himself in front of Jeanne when he thought she was going to be harmed.” I told her.
And like that, Salem’s evaluation of him elevated magnitudes.
It’s the circle again; the fact that I called him a friend and he protected Jeanne meant he was now not irrelevant.
“I’m Salem.” She said pointedly.
Coulson nodded, not looking at all put off by her cold and detached tone.
Also, points for not staring or making comments about her appearance. She has pale skin, black marks on her body, bright red eyes, and white hair. Suffice to say, she did not look normal. Now, I found her absolutely stunning, and I’m head over heels, but it’s worth noting that she most certainly stands out.
“Miss Salem, Mr. Thorum, it’s a pleasure.” Coulson responded neutrally. He then turned to Blade, and before I had the chance to offer the introductions, he spoke first. “Mr. Brooks.”
Blade stilled, immediately tensing up and staring at Coulson. “How do you know my name?” He asked in a low hiss, his eyes narrowing.
“You’ve been on our radar for a while now.” Coulson said simply with the slightest hint of a smirk, as if it were amusing.
Blade stared incredulously. “Been on your radar?”
“We’ve known about the vampires in the city for a few years now, but the extent of their…presence hadn’t been properly reported. We have since had to purge some intermediaries and found out that some positions had been compromised. We’ve since been reevaluating the continued threat level of their continued existence.”
Coulson said a whole lot that could be summarized as some of their lower-end grunts had either been bribed or, through other means, they had reported false information previously.
Two and two wasn’t hard to put together.
“Your name is Brooks?” I looked at him.
“Did you think my real name was Blade?” He deadpanned.
“...then why do you go around calling yourself Blade?”
“Because it sounds cool!” Thorum chimed in.
That…couldn’t really be the reason, right?
Blade slowly lowered his sunglasses just a hint, and I could see his eyes. I knew everything I needed to know.
I just nodded solemnly.
From one man to another, I understood.
“Mr. Brooks.” Coulson spoke up again. “I understand that you seem to have a very good…understanding of vampires. We at SHIELD would be more than happy to hire you on as a consultant, if not a full position, if you would be willing.”
Blade looked genuinely surprised. “You want to hire me to kill vampires?”
“More or less.” Coulson nodded.
“.....this is the strangest day of my life, and I kill vampires for a living.”
“Mr. Brooks, this is perhaps the most mundane thing in respect to my job this week.” Coulson informed him.
Salem looked at me. “I believe you are involved there.”
“I claim complete innocence.”
“We’re currently trying to open communications with Wakanda.” Coulson stated, that neutral smile still on his face as he looked my way.
“...I take some responsibility.”
“I would like a debrief on that, but let’s stick with the priorities for now.” Coulson took out a card from his pocket. “Mr. Brooks, my card.” He handed it over to Blade, who accepted it hesitantly. “You look like you want to be anywhere but here, and we won’t stop you from leaving. Whether you decide to join with us or not, there are some ground rules. In the future, I hope you call us after one of your…night activities to clean up properly. And as long as you keep your activities to a certain group, we won’t police you too heavily.”
Ah, there’s the subtle warning, the carrot along with the stick.
Basically, don’t kill innocents, and we won’t have problems.
How practical.
I guess Coulson and them acknowledge that they have less than stellar knowledge and ability to currently combat supernatural threats.
“I’ll think about it.” Blade said noncommittally before swishing his large cloak as he turned around, and rather than going to the door, he hopped up to the second floor that still remained and jumped out one of the cracked windows.
Huh, I wonder why none of the other vampires thought about doing that?
I never thought I’d see the day where I met someone named Blade who wore sunglasses at night and thought he was cool.
Life is funny sometimes.
“There’s a group of infants upstairs.” I started talking. “They’re essentially brain dead from oxygen starvation from constant blood loss.”
Coulson nodded. “We’ll handle them with care and make sure they’re properly put to rest.” Coulson’s expression softened.
“How’s your arm?” I changed the subject.
“As good as new.” He quirked a smile. “Mr. Schweinorg, you left quite the mess around us.” He gestured to the many limbs and blood that littered the place. “Do you have a suggestion on how to handle this…mess, considering your particular expertise?”
He barely glanced down at the stunned vampire. I suppose it didn’t need much of an explanation there.
“Burn it. Don’t even bother and burn the entire building down after taking care off the other…things.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Is that hyperbole?”
“No, I’m serious, burn the whole thing down and let it all turn to ash.” I shook my head.
“It is a crude method, but not incorrect.” Salem chose to chime in. “Their blood carries magical properties; if left alone too long, it could lead to some curses forming. Fire can cleanse it without any need for overtly cautious measures.”
“What she said.” I squeezed her hand. “Listen to her; she’s much smarter than me.”
Salem snorted, pinching my hand as if to tell me to stop being an idiot, in a playful way. “It’s basic knowledge for anyone even remotely competent.”
“Unfortunately, we have yet to structure any competency in the department, so your expertise is very appreciated, ma’am.” Coulson thanked her. “In fact, it would be further appreciated if you would be interested.
Salem looked at him as Coulson held out a card to her.
Slowly, she grabbed it; maybe she was being polite for my sake.
“If you would be interested, Shield would be very happy to hire you on as a consultant.”
I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen Salem look genuinely confused and bewildered.
@***@
A/N
Coulson has yet to see the videotapes of what happened.
Coulson: Oh, an expert in things magical!? Please join us as a consultant!
Comments
Is that omake not canon?
Nick Wen
2025-05-15 04:25:54 +0000 UTCso, random question, when are we going to see Pyrra with the Gamer System? Cause, I'll be honest, i've been waiting for that...'fight'.
Joseph Fera
2025-05-14 15:43:49 +0000 UTC“I figured I would take a detour since you’re not my responsibility.” Did you mean 'now'?
Mustafa
2025-05-13 04:02:28 +0000 UTCSomeone's going to get in front of that blast. Who? No idea, but likely someone who'll be able to properly tank it. I mean, a whole bunch of really powerful people now like Coulson for losing an arm for Jeanne. His doing the right thing in the moment is paying massive dividends even now.
Dancingrage
2025-05-13 01:33:31 +0000 UTCI gotta say, I liked watching Coulson in the movies I watched, but reading his exploits here is just priceless. Imagine his reaction if he realizes the truth of everyone around him at this moment. Coulson: Ah. That explains things a lot better. Thank you.
Dancingrage
2025-05-13 01:32:10 +0000 UTCCoulson: All according to plan...
Dancingrage
2025-05-13 01:30:53 +0000 UTCHe will smile. A bit.
Dancingrage
2025-05-13 01:29:47 +0000 UTCI wonder how everyone will take Coulson being killed by Loki?
Pure Dingo
2025-05-13 00:38:31 +0000 UTCCoulson single handily making the earth safer and more secured and prepared with one polite conversation with will at a time
Phantom knight who can’t think of a better nicknam
2025-05-12 21:19:58 +0000 UTCLoki’s robot aliens VS Salem’s Grimm. I can see it now.
Dirk Gent Lee
2025-05-12 20:37:45 +0000 UTCProbably ask her for help with larger scale threats, like... I dunno... The Invasion of New York. Having someone who can endlessly spawn monsters on board when you are fighting a seemingly endless number of Aliens sounds like a smart move. Instant Army.
Fire_Fox2590
2025-05-12 20:21:56 +0000 UTCSalem getting handed a business card kills
Green223
2025-05-12 19:43:46 +0000 UTCSalem: you ask what my expertise is? “Coulson watches video of Grims killing vampires” Salem: I’m an expert on things that go bump in the night Wilhelm: I need to change my undies
Mellomellen
2025-05-12 19:00:33 +0000 UTCThe best part is, he’ll still go through with the offer even after he sees the security footage xD
Danielle
2025-05-12 18:41:21 +0000 UTCLeave it to Son of Coul to surprise everyone
Dav
2025-05-12 17:21:04 +0000 UTCLike any good kohai, you should give Blade-senpai some metals that are effective against dark entities and some leather from possible dragons from the world of Skyrim. With that, he will become even more resistant.
DerkKill
2025-05-12 17:10:01 +0000 UTCI can just imagine Salem in a buisness outfit wandering around while nobody in shield bars an eye. She makes friends with the other wives and her best friend there is a secretary named Patty who loves to show her cat videos lol
Belly
2025-05-12 17:06:19 +0000 UTCNow I wanna see Coulson's reaction to said vidoes
Divine Poodle
2025-05-12 17:04:08 +0000 UTCThank you for the great chapter, love how you write Coulson. Salem helping SHEILD as a consultant is hilarious to me, stay safe out there and keep up the good work!
Kz3838
2025-05-12 16:46:46 +0000 UTCThanks for the chapter. Will be funny seeing Salem actually take the calls and actually helping them. Also Thor and Thorum meeting will be cool
oscar enrique sampedro lopez
2025-05-12 16:43:40 +0000 UTCCan't wait for the next part :D
:Dan the archer
2025-05-12 16:18:51 +0000 UTCSalem.exe has encountered an error, please reboot
Orchamus
2025-05-12 15:54:24 +0000 UTCCoulson just is that guy, just an absolute badass with a smoking car
Son-Of-Scorn
2025-05-12 15:29:59 +0000 UTCNext time on Kalidoscope Ball Z! Salem, Dread Queen of the Grimm, accidentally joins the Avengers?
Genocidecles
2025-05-12 15:12:55 +0000 UTCCoulson teaching a class to Wakandan diplomats on manners and how to open constructive dialogue.
thevolunteer
2025-05-12 15:11:26 +0000 UTCAh, yes. Salem and her hordes of Grimm. The Chitauri don't stand a chance... Loki: "I have an army!" Stark: "We have-" Wilhelm *interrupting* "I have a Big-Booty Goth Girlfriend."
James C
2025-05-12 15:10:45 +0000 UTCHoly heck I second that as well I love it
George Wright
2025-05-12 14:48:13 +0000 UTCI second this so hard:)
George Wright
2025-05-12 14:47:24 +0000 UTCCoulson: "what now?" Wilheim: "kill it with fire."
willowskeith
2025-05-12 14:42:40 +0000 UTCThanks for the chapter! ANK is the first time I've heard of Blade and so far he's been an interesting character. Also did Salem just get a part-time job?
Scott
2025-05-12 14:35:50 +0000 UTCSeconded, we need this.
Nate
2025-05-12 14:32:57 +0000 UTCAsk questions later? More like ask questions never unless they get caught and if then claim the black guy drew first and "lose" the recordings.
Green One
2025-05-12 14:31:31 +0000 UTCCoulson is a smart man, he cracked the Wilhelm code. Be polite, be helpful, and be accepting. It's paying off in dividends.
Green One
2025-05-12 14:30:48 +0000 UTCAshes to ashes. Good riddance.
Mathieu Toulet
2025-05-12 14:28:48 +0000 UTCOffice suit lady Salem? Don’t mind if I do!
Aiden Maxwell Childs
2025-05-12 14:18:03 +0000 UTCNice I'm loving it.
Zodiac
2025-05-12 14:11:56 +0000 UTCPffft, Salem being confused here is fantastic. Can’t wait to see the next time Thorum and Will go drinking again either lol
James French
2025-05-12 14:11:01 +0000 UTCI have no mouth but I must scream? A.M
GodOfDestruction 2.4
2025-05-12 14:09:12 +0000 UTCThanks for the chapter
john the gamer
2025-05-12 14:07:35 +0000 UTCnoice now i want moaaarrrrr
Kuh4kuu
2025-05-12 14:07:09 +0000 UTCSalem is confused! And yet, she is thinking about it? Truly the world is ending
Aigloss
2025-05-12 14:06:59 +0000 UTCFire cleanses everything. I agree with Blaade. In the United States, a heavily armed black man? Shoot first, ask questions later. Salem, as a consultant... well, she has thousands of years of magical knowledge, and she might learn more magic with Willhelm around. She loves magic, damn it, so I don't think there are many consultants up to her task. And Frost runs like a cockroach; it takes a very special boot to kill him, damn it.
savitar
2025-05-12 14:02:12 +0000 UTCA recurring buddy cop segment with Salem and Coulson would be hilarious. He does tend to be pointman for the weirder missions, so having a magical consultant on call would be great for him.
Grafian
2025-05-12 13:58:19 +0000 UTCSalem misunderstanding is when she says she's older than humanity current self , is people think she is before the flood.
Vicente Huerta
2025-05-12 13:57:02 +0000 UTCCoulson keeps polite-ing his way into having the best connections possible. Well deserved. Just occurred to me that there is a chance we get to see Hawkeye using the Bow of Akatosh during the invasion. The weakest Avenger is very suddenly NOT the second you let him use the bow that fires mini suns.
thevolunteer
2025-05-12 13:55:16 +0000 UTCThanks for the chapter
Nazarickk
2025-05-12 13:53:38 +0000 UTCNice crossover!
Monzter E
2025-05-12 13:52:15 +0000 UTCConfused blade &salem
M360
2025-05-12 13:52:11 +0000 UTCnice
Diego
2025-05-12 13:51:49 +0000 UTCNicr
Ivan Jerčinović
2025-05-12 13:47:38 +0000 UTC