[Snippet] Monster? No, I'm a Cultivator! (Percy Jackson): Chapter 17

“And don’t give her flowers too often. They lose their effect if she begins to anticipate them. And make sure that you hand pick them.” Hades spoke thoughtfully. “She will know if you sent a servant to buy a bouquet of flowers.”

Ocean Song nodded along with his Uncle’s words, doing his best to thoroughly absorb the wisdom being bestowed.

Ocean Song also understood that his Uncle must have first hand experience with these specific situations.

“And never lie to her.” Hades was quick to add. “She will know.”

“How?” Ocean Song asked.

“To this day, I have never discovered her secret.” Hades admitted. “But she will know. Maybe it will take some time, but she will find out, regardless of how well you hide or how much effort you put into the lie, it will be discovered by her.”

Ocean Song saw the fear in Hades’ eyes and nodded silently.

“And whatever you do, no matter how deep the pit you think you’ve dug yourself, if you did indeed ignore my advice and lie to her and she finds out and asks you about it, don’t lie further.” Hades said very sternly. “If there is anything I know as the God of the Underworld, the hole you’ve dug yourself can go deeper.”

Ocean Song made a mental promise to heed his uncle’s advice.

He already had a long list of things he’s written down from his uncle.

He then slammed his balled fist on the throne. “And always, and I mean always, have a handful of thoughtful gifts stored away for an emergency. Forget a birthday, an anniversary, a holiday? No matter, you are long prepared.”

“Your wisdom knows no bounds, uncle.” Ocean Song praised.

Hades nodded as well, pleased with his nephew’s learning.

This wasn’t how he anticipated this day going. Quite opposite in fact. He expected much more threatening and possible torture and or physical violence. His intention was to interrogate his monster nephew on the theft of his Helmet of Darkness, but he realized it was a pointless endeavor.

Why?

Well, it’s simple.

Hades realized his nephew was an idiot.

An idiot that cleaved a hole in the sky, but an idiot nonetheless. It wasn’t really a new revelation for his nephews. There seemed to be a correlation between the strength of his nephews and their idiocy funnily enough.

Hercules?

One of the biggest idiots he’d ever met in his life and look at him now.

Hades briefly wondered if that was the reason he hadn’t produced any children of such might. An unfortunate side effect is that all of his children were born with all their brain cells.

Though, Hades did atleast acknowledge his monstrous nephew’s own wisdom in coming to him for love advice.

He could only imagine what nonsense his brothers would fill his head with.

“And then there’s how to deal with her when you take a mistress or a lover.” Hades began.

“Uncle.” Ocean Song interrupted him. “I do not ever plan on taking a mistress or a lover.” He was quick to correct.

“Bah.” Hades waved his hand flippantly. “They all say that. Immortality is a very long time. When you’re separated for long periods, when the eons pass you may get bored or want something new and exciting. No matter how much you care for your wife, you may look for others to fill certain voids.”

Of course, Hades would never say this infront of his wife. And in fact, he rarely ever even ‘cheated’ on her in a normal sense. The majority of the time, he actually had his wife’s blessing for a little fling with a mortal every now and then while she was gone. 

“Uncle.” Ocean Song’s face turned serious. “You have bestowed on me wisdom I am most appreciative of. In return, please allow this lowly Cyclops to offer you some wisdom in return.”

Hades raised an eyebrow at his Cyclops Nephew. “Advice, for me?” He scoffed, but gestured for him to continue.

Ocean Song cleared his throat. “It’s impossible to look at other women if you have a fat ass sitting on your face.”

Hades was silent.

Ocean Song was proud of himself. As a Cultivator, he should also be able to bestow others with profound wisdom, and he was even able to render the God of the Underworld speechless with his profound insights.

Or was that because both the Goddess Persephone and the Goddess Hecate were standing right behind him?

It was honestly hard to say.

“Dear.” Hades greeted his wife.

“Husband.” She returned with the same direct and dry greeting.

“.....I was just –”

“Husband.” She cut him off. “Do you really think I didn’t know about your ‘secret stash’ of gifts you keep in the third closet behind the wall?”

“.....I had hoped.” He admitted.

Hecate had her arms crossed, and her glare threatened to set Ocean Song on fire.

Ocean Song did the most intelligent course of action he could think of in that moment. 

He attempted to jump into the air and fly away, as his Cultivation Base healed to a certain degree. Only, he found that he could not fly and fell to the ground, smacking head first into the hard tiles below.

Hades looked at him and felt the smallest twinge of pity.

He didn’t actually allow outsiders to fly in his domain, and he didn’t have a chance to warn him.

He made the mental note to be a bit more generous when his nephew’s soul inevitably crosses the River Styx officially after the Goddess of Magic is done with him.

The Goddess of Magic kicked him once and Hades noted that she held back quite a bit to the point where it was more of a love tap.

Hades held out his hand and floated some Ambrosia and Nectar down, letting it plop right infront of the Cyclops. 

“I – “ Before Ocean Song could speak, the Goddess of Magic grabbed the Ambrosia and Necatar and shoved them into his mouth, forcing him to swallow.

Rather quickly, he took on a panicked expression and sat down in a strange position as the Ambrosia and Nectar filled his body.

Hades watched him curiously.

As the God of the Underworld, he knew when someone was on death’s door, and his nephew was most certainly expecting to meet Thanatos before Hecate’s intervention. And despite Hecate’s best efforts, she couldn’t fully heal him from taking such a powerful lightning strike from Zeus.

It was already a testament to her prowess that she saved him in the first place. Of course, Hades was also aware of what Thanatos did as well. It surprised the God of the Underworld that Death itself willingly lent its aid.

Hades couldn’t even recall the last time that Thanatos showed a living being any favorability like that.

Other than an immortal being of course.

Still, with the intervention of both Magic and Death, his body was utterly mangled even if it wasn’t so obvious on the outside.

Hades also wasn’t so stingy as not to provide a bit of Ambrosia and Nectar after forcing his nephew over at his behest. And he was feeling particularly generous after seeing Zeus eat a bit of humble pie.

Hades also made the mental note to supply Hecate with more Ambrosia and Nectar. The fact that she hadn’t given him any was pretty telling that she had apparently run out since the last time he gave her a bit.

Unlike the Olympian Gods, the Gods living in the underworld aren’t so lucky to have such a steady supply of the godly foodstuffs. Hades, as the God of the Underworld of course has his own supply as befitting his status. And he makes sure his subordinates receive their share at certain intervals.

He of course knew where all hers went. It was no secret to him how much she dotes on her own  demigod children she periodically sires, often breaking the supposed ‘laws’ in doing so.

He turns a blind eye though.

However, he had the faint impression that the amount of demigod children she produced was going to see a sharp decline.

In fact, if you looked at Hades in a certain light, he might have been smiling as he watched the Goddess of Magic give his nephew a thorough verbal lashing.

“You may take him away.” Hades casually gestured.

Hecate stopped her scolding, giving Hades a polite nod of acknowledgement and grabbed Ocean Song by the leg and dragged him out of the room.

Persephone looked at the scene with a strange smile on her face. “They’re cute together, don’t you think?”

Hades grunted noncommittal.

“Do you still believe he stole your Helmet?”

“No.” Hades said bluntly. “He’s far too stupid to do something like that.”

“Oh sweetie.” Persephone smiled warmly. “We all could have told you that.”

“....how long have you known about my stash of gifts?”

“How long have you had that ‘secret stash’?” She shot back.

Hades grumbled in annoyance. 

“And don’t think I’m ignoring your other ‘advice’.” She shot him a glare.

“...I can explain.” Hades shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Despite the fact that she gives him ‘permission’ to find some temporary lover while she’s forced away for the seasons, she also doesn’t like to hear about his dalliances, nor see them in person.

Persephone’s eyes shined dangerously. “Well, I suppose we should give it a try then. Hmm?”

“Give what a try, dear?” Hades felt a strange tingling down his spine.

“I think your nephew gave some meaningful advice. Let’s put it to the test.”

Suddenly, Hades felt like he had a favorite nephew.

@***@

Ocean Song looked up at the sky of the Underworld as Hecate dragged him away.

He didn’t make a move to stop her and focused mostly on absorbing the power of the heavenly elixirs that the Lord of the Underworld bestowed on him.

Oddly, he felt like he couldn’t absorb the Qi from them into his Dantian like he did with the Golden Apple.

No, it felt like water falling through his fingers as the power of the elixirs went entirely to mending his broken body.

Almost at speeds visible to the naked eye, his complexion even returned somewhat normal and a significant amount of the pain disappeared rather quickly.

“You’re lucky, not even I use Ambrosia and Nectar so wastefully like you did.” Hecate harrumphed.

“....you’re the one who shoved them in my mouth.” Ocean Song pointed out.

The Goddess of Magic shot him a dangerous glare.

“What are your plans next?” She asked, her tone much more…even.

“Preferably, I would like to heal and break through to the next realm.” Ocean Song answered without much thought.

Hecate furrowed her brow, trying to understand what he meant by ‘break through to the next realm’.

“And what does that entail?”

“I need to form my Nascent Soul.” Ocean Song answered again rather easily.

“You’re what?”

“My Nascent Soul. Once I form my Nascent Soul, I’ll no longer be dependent on my mortal body. Even if my body is destroyed my soul will persist. My soul will even be able to leave my body and travel a thousand miles!” He spoke excitedly.

Hecate came to an abrupt stop, dropping him. 

Her mind whirled with the information that she was provided and she came to a rather quick conclusion.

This idiot was talking about taking the first true steps into godhood.

That’s how gods exist, their ‘bodys’ are merely external vessels, projections, temporary reflections of their nature. It’s why gods were immortal, they couldn’t be killed because their ‘souls’ were eternal and persisted through any ‘death’. 

 But….she was confused because there was so much missing to make that even plausible. A god needed belief to sustain themselves. Even lesser gods subsided off of belief and worship of their domains even inadvertently. 

Her stupid Cyclops had no such thing.

So she was utterly confused at what nonsense he was so confidently spouting.

“Great Goddess – “

“What did you call me!?” She snapped her head towards him.

“ – Hecate.” He quickly corrected.

She huffed, crossing her arms, giving him a look as if to continue with what he was going to say.

“If it isn’t too much trouble, can I request that you drop me off at the River Styx?” 

Hecate processed his request and felt a surge of anger that almost made her want to start kicking him. “You covet that stupid curse? Do you even know what consequences come with it!?”

“Curse?” Ocean Song was confused at her sudden surge of anger. Despite her scowlign and glares, they never felt truly hostile. But now, it felt like she was actually upset. “You mean the Curse of Achilles?” He vaguely recalled the information recalling that.

“What else would I be talking about?”

“I don’t covet that curse, I have other reasons for wanting to seek the River Styx.” Ocean Song explained truthfully.

Hecate looked him over skeptically. “You don’t want the curse?” Her eyebrow raised. “It will make you one of the strongest warriors the world has ever seen. Stronger, faster, battle instinct that touches on the divine. You really don’t want that?”

“I can get that by my own hand.” Ocean Song responded with a genuine look on his face.

Hecate blinked and wanted to call him an arrogant fool, but she then recalled that there was quite literally a chunk of sky missing because of him.

“.....if I find out that you lied to me, I will be upset.” She said softly with a rare tone of tenderness that quickly disappeared. “If you dare to almost die again because of whatever nonsense you’re thinking about doing, I’ll kill you myself, understand?”

“Yes, Ma’am!” Ocean Song nodded.

“Hmph.” Hecate snapped her fingers and Ocean Song disappeared from the spot.

@***@

Ocean Song fell into a soft bit of soil, realizing he had been teleported away.

A second realization dawned on him that she could have used that same method of transportation rather than quite literally dragging him across the ground for so long.

Instinctively, he could sense the nearby waters.

Despite them being from the underworld, his bloodline could still reach out and feel the soft waves of the river in front of him.

It was vast, far bigger than its actual appearance showed. 

Ocean Song was sure that the River was a world unto itself with how many souls it takes care of on a daily basis.

There was one particular reason he wanted to come here.

With the elixirs mending his body to such a degree, he was nearly back to full health. And he discovered something rather interesting.

Surviving from Zeus’s strike had caused his Demonic Core to also grow in size. His Golden Core had reached the Later staged from his estimates, he just needed to piece it back together. No, that was probably wrong. Beyond the later Stage was Perfected.

After having time to consider it, he knew that his Golden Core would be Perfected once it was pieced back together.

And his Demonic Core, while having gotten a surge of strength due to surviving his tribulation, was trailing behind a bit. Mostly because his physical body couldn’t actually handle that kind of stress and had been in even a worse state than his Golden Core previously.

Still, he would say that his Demonic Core – once his physical body digested the Elixirs fully – would be about at the Later stages, if barely. Which didn’t sound like much ,but he went from the Early Stages right to the Later stages.

His Golden Core was elevated through refinement and cultivation.

His Demonic Core had just been pumped up and right now, it lacked any sort of….refinement. It was rather rampant and bloated now that he felt his body returning to normal. He needed to properly ‘digest’ everything.

Likewise, he could simultaneously elevate himself properly rather than taking bolts of lighting from the Lord of Heaven.

Thus, wouldn’t the perfect opportunity be to refine his body in the River Styx?

It was perfect logic with no flaws.

Truly, Ocean Song felt like he was a good Cultivator to think about something like this.

Ocean Song sat cross legged at the edge fo the River Styx and began to reach out to it through the bloodline he inherited from his Father.

The River Styx wasn’t merely a river.

It was a Titan.

It was a godly being.

With his bloodline of Poseidon, he reached out and touched it.

And the River responded….rather aggressively.

Ocean Song felt like he awakened something from its slumber. Waves began to surge on the once peaceful river.

Eventually, the waters distorted until they twisted and churned into the form of a humanoid, boring right down onto him.

“Son of Poseidon, for what reason have you awakened me?” The Titan’s presence weighed down on him.

“Greetings, Great Goddess, Styx!” Ocean Song quickly donned the demeanor of a proper Cultivator, in that he immediately started praising her. “I have long heard of the magnificent River that cares for the souls of the underworld. Your mighty name reverberates throughout all the waters of the world.”

Styx paused.

She was annoyed about being woken up from its nap, noticing one of Poseidon’s brats poking at it with its powers. However, it was hard to want to beat up someone who was praising her so shamelessly.

And if one of Poseidon’s kids was in the underworld like this, that meant Hades was letting him be as a guest, and she had no intention of angering Hades while she also lived here.

She gave him a closer examination, noticing he was a monster – a Cyclops even, as strange as that was considering what he looked like.

And he was also naked, for some strange reason, but she predated the concept of clothing, so she didn’t dwell on that too long.

There were other strangeness about him…..but it wasn’t any of her business.

“What do you want, child of Poseidon?” She finally decided to ask so he would go away.

“Great Goddess!” Ocean Song spoke reverently. “I wish to go inside of you!”

“......”

“……”

@****@

A/N

Ocean Song wants to get inside another Goddess, no big deal.

Also, Hades might have a new favorite Nephew.