Vixen's Mistress Chapter 47: Empty Halls

The Goddess must have been shining on Hannah because the servant halls were empty. Though she was going to see Mr. Williams as Rayne had suggested, she wasn’t sure that she really wanted to run into anyone on the way. By now Hannah was sure that every member of this house had probably heard about what happened, and she just wasn’t prepared to face people she wasn’t planning on seeing. If it was Eda though she would be fine.

Hannah wasn’t actually sure where Mr. Williams was, but hopefully he would be in his office. Maybe he might still be showing Damian around. Then she would probably have to find someone to ask where they were and then face both men at once. That didn’t sound pleasant at all. One at a time was the way to go about this, and if she was able to find Damian alone after this then it might be a little better for both the kin. Hannah wasn’t sure how many kin were ‘employed’ at the Keating Estate, but she imagined Damian might be more comfortable around her without any humans around.

The door to the office was ajar, which Hannah had come to know that it meant he was open to people coming to talk to him. Even so, Hannah still found her footsteps getting quieter as she approached. At least forty-five minutes had passed since she ran off, and that was enough time for Hannah to calm down substantially. Rayne also very much helped with that. That being said, it didn’t feel like it gave her enough time to prepare on what to say. Now standing outside the door silently, Hannah took a deep breath and counted to five before gently knocking on the door.

“Come in,” Mr. Williams called out. Hannah felt her heart starting to beat a little harder as she pushed the door in. “Hannah,” he said with a hint of surprise. Maybe even a hint of worry.

“Mr. Williams.” How best to say what she needed to say? “I wanted to come and apologize for running off earlier.”

Shaking his head Stewart said, “You need not apologize.” He clearly also was questioning how best to say what he wanted to say. “If anyone here deserves an apology it’s you.” Hannah looked at him a little confused. “I should have thought to more intently point out that you were in fact you before Damian assumed otherwise.”

Now it was Hannah’s turn to shake her head. “You need not apologize for that either. I understand that my position here will come as a shock to many people, and I have a feeling such an instance like that are going to be common whenever the Haywards decide to host in some regard.” Hannah had an understanding that her working here and being the librarian was a big deal, but she had no concept of whether that was a big enough deal that anyone potentially visiting the estate would have heard about it beforehand. Damian clearly hadn’t nor had Lady Keating for that matter.

The butler gave a thoughtful nod. “I have that feeling as well. Maybe there is something we can think of to help alleviate such events in the future.” Though he said that out loud to Hannah, it felt like he was talking more to himself. “That aside, I am also sorry for the upsetting things Damian said to you.”

“No,” Hannah said a little too abruptly. Feeling a little embarrassed Hannah quickly followed with, “Though what he said was upsetting I wouldn’t want to put fault on you or him for it. I…” Mr. Williams was kind enough to wait and listen as Hannah figured out her words. “I didn’t work with any other kin before coming here. In truth I haven’t spent much time around kin in quite a few years, and maybe not consciously I believe I put a lot of expectations as to what that would be like when Damian arrived. When he did arrive and I saw that he was a snow leopard I automatically assumed that he would also be from Everlial as they are extremely rare and native to the mountains close to where I’m from. I could not conceive of a notion that Dewath had taken his kind long before Ziteas fell.”

He took a moment to think over Hannah’s words before he replied. “I can not understand what that must feel like, but I can imagine it is something that has immense weight for you.”

Hannah couldn’t help but smile a little. The world was so much easier when people were open and honest about what they could and could not understand. He may not understand what it feels like, but he knew it was big for her and that meant a lot.

“For what it’s worth, I believe we are all deserving of the gift of knowing where we come from. If we don’t know where we come from how can we ever see how far we’ve come, for better or for worse?”

“That is very true.” For worse in this case, but maybe seeing that would be the first right step.

“I can not speak to whether this is something Lady Keating would like her beastkin to know, but I can assure you that I always believe teaching someone about where they come from is a noble endeavor.” It looked to be as if there was something else he wanted to say, but he held back a little. His eyes drifted to the open door as if to see if anyone was coming.

No one was around. Hannah could hear some of the kitchen staff chatting to themselves in the distance, but even she could barely make out what they were saying. There was no way a human was going to hear unless Mr. Williams and Hannah started getting very loud.

He appeared to notice that Hannah didn’t seem as worried about someone overhearing, but whether he thought that was because she could hear or because she didn’t care was not clear. “Professionally I would say wait to talk to Damian about Everlial till after Lady Keating has given her approval. It might not be considerate to go find him in the Pastel Bedroom at which Lady Keating is staying in, and talk to him before anyone has given approval or disapproval.”

Hannah found that to be a very strange way of phrasing that statement. Especially when he said it in a voice that was slightly toned than his normal speaking voice. It almost sounded similar to when people tried to say something but mean another thing, and that was never Hannah’s strong suit.

Seeing Hannah not fully understanding he added, “I don’t always appreciate the philosophy of asking for forgiveness being better than asking permission, but I can’t say I haven’t used that to my advantage in life on occasion.”

This was one of those moments where something was trying to say something by saying the opposite. People did that all the time and though she didn’t really understand it she wasn’t really shocked by it. With Mr. Williams she was a little shocked by it though. With how he had first viewed her a week and a half ago, Hannah would not have thought he would be approving of something that pushed the boundaries of what humans thought kin should be allowed to know.

“I understand, Mr. Williams. Thank you for your time.”

“No need to thank me, just be sure you use your time wisely in future endeavors.”

Hannah gave a quick nod of acknowledgment before leaving the room. As she closed the door back to its slightly ajar state she couldn’t help but wonder if this really was the right thing to do. If Lady Keating didn’t want Damian knowing all this, then it wasn’t going to go well for Hannah. That being said, the tiny spark to fight back and disobey the humans who sought to rule over her that had appeared yesterday made itself known again.

~~~

Before Rayne made her way back into the sitting room, she managed to find Eda. Or more accurately Eda had been waiting just past the point at which Hannah and Rayne would part ways on their walks back. Rayne had been honest about what happened, minus the information about pillows and flowers. That could wait till later. She realized that she hadn’t actually asked Hannah about what happened with Damian, so now that they weren’t pressed to find Hannah, Rayne asked for more specifics on what happened. Eda only knew so much since she wasn’t present, but it was enough to give Rayne a better picture of how the conversation went.

Worried that her absence would be noted by now, Rayne quickly hurried back to the sitting room and quietly slipped back in. Glancing over at the window Rayne could see that Kaden and Margret were still playing a game. She hoped by now it would be their second or maybe even third game, but she knew that Kaden was ensuring the first game took as long as it could. Margret might even be trying to do the same. If Rayne had been playing the game would have been well over by now.

“Everything alright?” Hamish asked as Rayne once again took her seat. “Eda didn’t knock.”

It wasn’t surprising that Hamish would also notice that. Though Rayne liked to think that she knew Eda exceptionally well, the head housemaid had been here for the entire lives of all the Hayward children. All of them were well acquainted with the little quirks she had. “Now it is. There was a bit of an incident with Hannah and Damian’s first meeting.”

“What?” Margret called out from across the room. The other woman’s full attention was now on Rayne across the room. Kaden looked a little surprised, probably not having even heard Rayne. 

That took Rayne by surprise as well. She hadn’t spoken to Hamish very loud and Margret had seemed quite focused on the game. Then again Margret was sometimes quite keen on noticing small things that other people might not. The question still stood, however, and since Damian was technically hers Rayne should answer. “Hannah and Damian were introduced to each other a little while ago and it wasn’t exactly smooth.”

“How so?” Hamish asked.

Rayne didn’t like how close this was to gossip but she trusted Eda’s words more than she trusted this information to get to the rest of the family unaltered through staff. “Due to Damian being a snow leopard Hannah had assumed that he was also from Everlial as they are extremely rare and originate close to where Hannah was from. When it became apparent that he wasn’t she started to get emotional. When she told him of where he’s from he replied that he thought all beastkin came from Dewath. That appeared to overwhelm her and she ran off.”

Margret looked confused and it was clear a number of thoughts crossed her mind before she spoke again. “Are they not? I thought the freelands was where they run off to, not where they're from. Papa also said his breed were called Silver Spotted Cats and a special breed that only one breeder has made. I’ve never heard of a snow leopard.”

“No,” Hamish answered. “Beastkin are native to Everlial, they don’t come from Dewath.”

“As for what breed Damian is,” Rayne started, “I’m more inclined to believe the beastkin from their homeland over a breeder saying what he will to justify charging more money for a rare breed.”

It was clear that Margret spent a few seconds thinking that all over before her eyes drifted back to her cards in hand. “Would a breeder really do that?”

“People will do and say a lot of things if it means they can make more money,” Kaden answered. “Breeders can be well known for talking a big game about rare breeds they have whilst there being a breeder down the streets that has the same number as them.”

Rayne didn’t enjoy that Kaden had this knowledge, but she was happy that it did appear to satisfy Margret to some degree. “I’m sure Uncle Allen wasn’t intentionally lying to you. He probably fully believed everything he told you.”

“And you really trust Hannah over them?” Margret asked. 

“I do.”

Margret nodded gently before laying down a card onto the table. “I win.”

~~~

Unlike sneaking down the hall to Mr. Williams’s office, Hannah knew she wasn’t going to get away with sneaking up to the door to the Pastel Room. Damian would be able to hear her coming when she started to get close. So for this moment she waited at the end of the hall taking a deep breath, trying to think over how this would go. Damian had been born into slavery so of course this was going to be very different than talking to a kin from Everlial. While Hannah had talked to a few kin who were also born into slavery, it had been a while since she had a lot of interaction with kin. It would most certainly be the first time being alone with another kin in a few years. 

Shaking her head of all the worries, Hannah started to move down the hall again. There wasn’t a true way to prepare for this so she just needed to get it over with. It didn’t take more than a few seconds before she found herself pushing open the door to the bedroom. As she would be with someone coming to the library, Damian was already looking at her, having expected someone’s arrival.

“Miss Hannah,” he said with clear worry in his voice.

“Hello, Damian.” There was no point in beating around the bush. “I wanted to apologize for running off earlier.”

He shook his head very similar to how Mr. Williams had done. “You don’t need to apologize. I’m sorry if I said anything to offend you.”

Again it was Hannah’s turn to shake her head. “You didn’t offend me. I just had built up a lot of expectations in my mind and I wasn’t prepared for them to be broken.”

Damian gave a very gentle and understanding smile as his tail and ears moved to a relaxed state. “I can understand that such a thing can be very upsetting.”

It was so comforting for Hannah to be able to have more points of reference for reading people. How she had missed expressive ears and tails. “It can and I’m sorry if that made you worried that you upset me.”

“It’s alright and thank you for coming to talk to me.” His guard most certainly seemed far more down than it had been when there were humans around. “It was a little nerve wracking coming here thinking there would be no other beastkin, and I was relieved to see you. Then I was a little worried I had upset the only other beastkin here.”

“I felt the same way. Though since being taken as a slave I have spent more time around humans than other kin.”

Now Damian looked a little confused. “Before being taken as a slave?”

This was the moment. Hannah nodded. “Before. Everlial is the kin homeland and country on the other side of Ziteas, or what was Ziteas. We aren’t slaves there. There are barely any humans there. I had only ever met around thirty humans before being taken. There was only one human that lived in my village.” Damian’s ears and tail did that slight flick to indicate he was confused and a little wary of what Hannah was saying. “I realize that might sound like a lie, but it’s not.”

It took a few seconds of thought before Damian said, “Is that why you can speak other languages?”

“Yes and I was a school teacher. I taught lots of things, including three of the four languages I know.” Sometimes she would help students with Elven but that was more outside of school hours rather than full class lessons.

“You speak four languages?” Damian appeared a little shocked.

Hannah nodded. “And read and write in all of them. Though I would really only be comfortable saying I’m fluent in three. I don’t get to converse in Elven enough to feel comfortable saying I’m fluent.” Now that clearly shocked Damian, and again made him look a little doubtful. Though he wouldn’t know it to understand, Hannah did say, “I’m vastly more comfortable reading Elven than I am speaking it.” That wasn’t the cleanest pronunciation Hannah had spoken Elven with, but he wasn’t going to know that.

“That… That almost sounded like magic,” Damian said quietly. 

Being a kin in the Empire did mean that you would see magic at least once in your life when they put the seal on you. From what Hannah understood it wasn’t put on you till you started puberty, so all kin would be of an age that would actually remember it. Hannah had to wonder if kin were vastly more likely to see magic than most humans because of that. “It’s not, but I can understand why you would think that. I never took well to magic. At least casting it.”

Damian’s ears and tail started to relax again, but did still showed signs of curiosity. “Mr. Williams said you're the teacher here too, but if there are no other beastkin who are you teaching?”

That was a valid question. “I’m helping Derek the hallboy learn to read and write, Neila with her handwriting, Lord Hamish with Treysian poetry, and I’m teaching Mistress Hayward Everlian.”

“You’re teaching the family?” The shock in his voice was very apparent.

Hannah had a feeling there were going to be a lot of moments like this in the first few weeks of Damian being here. “I am. Anyone here is free to ask for lessons. Family or staff.”

“I’m not sure Lord Keating would be very approving of this or Lady Margret being here if he knew.” It sounded as if he was talking more to himself than Hannah.

That tiny spark of rebellion lit up again. “Well, he isn’t the lord of this house and what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

“That… That is true.” There were obviously a few thoughts running through his mind and Hannah was happy to let him process before speaking again. “Can I ask a question?”

“Of course,” Hannah said happily. “Please always feel free to ask any question.”

“Earlier you said snow leopard as if that explained why you thought I would also be from your home, but I don’t know what a snow leopard is.”

Hannah chest suddenly got very tight as a good number of emotions started to battle away inside of her. Sorrow and anger being the biggest two. Her hands gripped tightly at the fabric of her uniform; her claws threatening to cut through it. “That’s what kind of kin you are. You’re a snow leopard. A very rare and often isolated kind who come from the Hindare Mountains, on the boarder of Treysia and Everlial. I’m from just south of the area and I’ve only seen a dozen or so of you’re kind before.”

Now Damian also looked as if there were emotions and thoughts battling inside of him, if his tail was anything to go by. “I was taught that I’m a Silver Spotted Cat breed made by the Penn Breeder Associ—”

“They’re lying to you,” Hannah said very abruptly and harshly. The anger was beating the sorrow inside of her now. That was maybe the most heat Hannah had said something with in a long time. “You’re not some result of human creation. You’re a snow leopard; a very rare and natural kind of kin, not breed.” There were tears starting to form in Hannah’s eyes but they weren’t from sadness. Her body just wasn’t used to expressing anger.

The intensity of Hannah’s words appeared to stick with Damian as he looked back at her unending stare. “Alright,” he said, his eyes drifting away from Hannah’s. “Snow leopard…”

Hannah just nodded, relaxing her hands away from almost tearing her uniform. There was a long moment of uncomfortable silence before Hannah spoke. “If you ever have any more questions about anything please feel free to ask. Don’t be afraid to ask humans for help with getting used to how things work here either. I know Mr. Williams very much prefers for someone to ask a question and learn rather than to assume. Though some of the humans aren’t the best, like Anna.” Her voice was gentle again and the person most relieved by that was probably Hannah herself.

“I will keep that in mind. Speaking of Mr. Williams I did have one question I forgot to ask him. When he talked about times for meals he only showed me where the staff eats. Where do we eat?”

“We eat at the table with everyone else. There’s no separation between kin and staff here. Here we are considered staff, not slaves.”

[Finally Hannah and Damian get to have a proper conversation. It's going to be really fun for me to keep exploring the differences between how Hannah and Damian act and think based on their upbringing. I hope you guys liked this chapter!]