Upcoming video shoot!

So we're all set to shoot on Saturday. This one's going to be both unique and fun! Katerina, who you might remember from my Russian video The Website of Change will be for another video and she's bring to friends. This one's going to be truly international, as we'll guy from France and a Woman from Argentina, along with Katerina. The subject of the video is how you should never use Google Translate when having a genie grant your wish. Here's the script...please do keep this to yourself. And if you don't want to spoil the humorous ending, you make want to skip reading it, but if you do, let me know if what you think. Thanks! 

Never use Google Translate to Make Wishes

Veronika - Katerina 

Leo - Andrea 

Sofia - Belen 

LEO, a struggling actor is on the phone with his agent. (All his dialog is in French with English translation, unless stated otherwise. For wardrobe, dress comfortably, no white, black, red or plaid shirts. Whatever you pick, ‘Sofia’ will be wearing for part of her scene).

Leo (with Agent is in English)

So Max, did I get the part? (pause) Why not? (pause)  They’re cast Sam to play the reporter? But the report’s French?  Sam doesn’t even speak French…and I’m French! (pause) I understand. 

Leo hangs up the phone. 

Leo (now speaking in French)

I was perfect for that role and I still didn’t get it. I’m never going to be a famous American actor if no one will cast me. Something’s got to change!

There is a sudden knock at the door. Leo walks to the door, but when he opens it, no one is here. He looks around, sees no one, is about to close the door when he looks down and see a mysterious bottle in front of him. He looks around again, picks up the bottle and closes the door. 

Leo

I wonder who left this?

He examines the bottle for a moment, and soon curiosity gets the best of him and he removes the cork. There is a flash, and now VERONIKA is standing next to him. (Veronika speaks in Ukrainian, unless stated otherwise).

Veronika

Greetings new master, I am Veronika and I am here to grant you one wish. 

Leo is startled by Veronika’s sudden appearance.

Leo

What the? Who are you, and how did you get into my house? 

Veronika looks confused, not understanding what Leo is saying. 

Veronika

I don’t understand what you’re saying, but I’m the genie from the bottle and I am here to grant you a wish.  

Leo doesn’t understand what Veronika is saying either, however he doesn’t see her as a threat. He is still confused by what she is doing there. 

Leo

I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you’re saying. What is it you want?

She rolls her eyes. This has happened to Veronika before, being released from her bottle by someone who doesn’t speak her language. So she tries again to explain to Leo who she is in simple terms.

Veronika (speaking slowly)

Veronika (She says pointing at herself.) 

(She pickups up the bottle and points to it).

I am the genie from the bottle.

You get one wish. (She the holds up one finger.)

(She then thinks for a moment and says the work ‘genie’ in English).

‘Genie’.

Leo understands the word Genie.

Leo

You’re a “genie”? (Make the genie a little more English in its pronunciation).

Veronika

Yes!

Leo (holding up three fingers)

And I get three wishes?

Veronika looks at his fingers, shakes her head and holds up one finger.

Veronika

You get one wish.

Leo see her holding up one finger.

Leo

One wish?

Veronika

Yes, one wish. 

Leo thinks for a moment, but then without hesitation says….

Leo

I wish I were a famous American actor.

Veronkia looks at Lea confused, again not understanding what he’s saying.  She shakes her head and raises her hands and shrugs in an, ‘I don’t understand’ gesture. 

Veronika

I have no idea what you are asking for, and if you can’t make it clear, I can’t grant your wish.

Leo is frustrated, but understands why his wish wasn’t granted.

Leo

Of course. You can’t understand me, so you can’t grant my wish.

Veronika, not understanding, smiles and again gestures that she doesn’t understand. Leo thinks for a moment, then pulls out his phone and starts typing. What he is typing , and what Veronika reads, will be shown as TEXT on the screen.

Leo Types

Can you read this? My name is Leo. This is Google Translate, it will translate what I type into your language. 

Veronika looks at the screen.

Veronika Reads

Do you understand what I’ve written? I am designated Leo. This is Google Translate, it will convert what I write into your language.

Veronika hasn’t seen this before and is amazed. She also is relieved that she can now communicate with Leo. She shakes her head that she understands. 

Veronika

Hello Leo.

Leo is now once again excited about the prospect of his wish being granted. He types in his phone.

Leo Types

So I get one wish and I can wish for anything I want?

Hands it to Veronika,

Veronika reads

So, I have a desire, and I can make it anything I like?

Veronika looks a little confused by what she has read, but it kind of makes sense, so she slowly nods her head yes.

Leo (happily)

Magnificent! 

Leo thinks for a moment and starts typing.

Leo Types

I wish I were an attractive and established AMERICAN actor, who is famous, still in there 20’s, and will star in movies for years to come.

Leo hands the phone to Veronika who looks at it. Her eyes widen in surprise. She looks over at Leo.

Veronika

This is your wish?

Leo

Yes.

Veronika shrugs her shoulders having to do grant the wish that is made.

Veronika

Alright

She crosses her arms and nods her head. OR she snaps her fingers. OR gestures in some other way. (Katerina, feel free to come up with this). Leo disappears and is replaced by SOFIA. She is wearing the same clothes that he was wearing. (Sofia starts of speaking Spanish). 

Sofia (Spanish)

So when will you grant my wish?  Did you get taller? 

Sofia is suddenly alarmed by the change in her voice.  She looks down realizing that she now has long hair and is a woman. She may look in a mirror if one’s available.

Sofia

Oh my god, what have you done to me? Why am I a woman? This isn’t what I wished for.

Suddenly Leo’s phone rings. Sofia looks at it and see’s it’s Leo’s agent. Out of habit she quickly answers it, in English. 

Sofia (English)

Hello Max? (pause) Yes, this is Leo. (Realizing that she doesn’t sound like Leo). I mean this is Leo’s phone. I’m…Sofia…can I take a message. (pause) (Excitedly) Sam couldn’t take the part and they want me! That’s wonderful! This is my big break! (Another moment of realization). I mean it’s Leo’s big, I’ll have him call you right away!

So with Veronika’s response we can play it either innocently or somewhat sinisterly. We can talk about which feels better. Also everything is in English for the rest of the video.

Veronika (in English)

Oh, you speak English?

Sofia (in English)

Yes! I speak both French and English. I don’t know why you turned me into a woman, but I wish to be turned back to the way I was.

Veronika

You actually speak Spanish and English now. You wished to be a beautiful American, and since beautiful is typically used when referring to females I thought you wanted to be a woman. And you weren’t very clear about where you should be from, since both North and South America are Americans, soooo, I just went alphabetically and made you from Argentina. If your not happy, you really should have been more specific. 

As Veronika is talking to Sofia, her outfit has changed. She is now dressed attractively. Depends what Belen has available, possible a cute form fitting, dress with a short skirt. Sofia notices she is now dressed differently.

Sofia

Ahhhh, what is happening to my clothes?

Veronika

Reality is changing to conform to your wish. It usually takes a few minutes for everything to change and end up where it belongs.

Sofia (panicking) 

Well, make it stop! I wish things to go back to the way they were.

Veronika

As I told you, you only get one wish. Sorry

Sofia

But I just got cast in a movie. This is my big break, so I need to be Leo again. 

Veronika

Unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do. You’ve made your wish and it’s been granted. (Pause)…BUT you will be in lots of movies for years to come. 

Sofia

I will?   

Veronika

Yes, you’ll be very famous and your movies will be very popular.

Sofia is now somewhat hopeful and slightly releaved.

Sofia 

Really?

Veronika

Oh yes, that was also part of your wish, so nothing can stop that from happening now.  

Sofia starts to disappear.

Sofia

Wait, what kind of movies will I be in? 

Veronika

Porn.

Sofia

What!!?

Sofia completely disappears and then reappears in a different room. Her hair is done up and she is wearing a good amount of make up. She is dressed in a silk or satin robe. There are lights and sound equipment around her.  A voice is heard from off screen.

Director

OK Sofia, we’re ready for your scene.

Sofia

What?!

Director

And loose the robe.

Sofia

What? 

Close up of Sofia ‘hearing/remembering’ Veronika saying….

Veronika voice over

‘you will be in lots of movies for years to come.’

Sofia

Oh fuck…. (We’ll cut it at the ‘fu’…sound (not actually say fuck) and go to the credits.)

I had an idea for the credits that could be fun. Like the last video I did with Katerina, first we’ll show a clip of Katerina from the video with her name, then a clip of Andrea from the video with his name, and then for Belen we can film a ‘new clip’ of her sitting in bed with her hair all messed up, with a ‘what the heck just happened’ expression on her face. 

Then when the credits are all done and it fades to black, there will the sound of a knock on a door. The video will come back up again and the genie bottle will be in front of someone else’s door. We’ll see someone’s feet as the door opens and they lean down to pick up the bottle.

The End