Chapter 04 [IAA]

I didn’t want to die.

Okay, so I could barely see the stars outside the bridge for all the red lights on our screens, each of them sparkling like a greased-up middle finger.

As much as I would've preferred a nice, quiet shift watching my display for barely perceptible anomalies, the universe—ever partial to the taste of shit—had decided otherwise.

"This is it, Diaz," I said to her, my thoughts broadcasting directly to her through what we've stubbornly continued to call a 'phone.' "We’re about to get raw-dogged."

She pinged me back almost immediately. "Not necessarily… but probably."

Obviously, Diaz.

No matter how you looked at it, we were fucked. And not in a ‘let's see how this plays out’ kind of way. More of a ‘strap in and be ready to get dicked-down’ sort of way. 

There was one option left, and it had me reaching for the remains of my shredded dignity. I sighed, steeling myself for the inevitable, and pushed away from my console.

"Captain Fredendall," I called, my voice barely audible over the ambient noise of the ship. I could see his mustache twitching already, a sure sign of the indignation to come. "Sir, I’m just gonna’ come out and say it."

His response was as predictable as it was infuriating. His eyes narrowed, the wrinkles in his forehead deepening. "What are you suggesting, Kozlov?"

I let the silence stretch out for a moment before answering. "We could surrender."

His rejection was instant, and as reflexive as the jerk of a knee under a doctor's mallet. "No."

And there it was, the infuriating, pig-headed stupidity of it all. His refusal was a death sentence; not just for him, but for all of us. A death warrant, all in the name of a misplaced sense of honor.

My frustration boiled over. The realization hit me hard; I was on my own. 

Maybe Fredendall was ready to die for a pointless show of resistance, but I was not, and looking around the bridge, not many were.

So fuck it, I thought to myself. Fuck him and fuck the Federation-issued dildo he rode in on. If the drunk uncle wanted to go down with his ship, he was welcome to, but I wasn't about to join him. As shit as it can be, I chose life, and as ugly and desperate as it would be, I chose survival.

The universe might have us bent over, but I was saving myself for marriage.