Are you sure? (English) (1/3)

(BBW, SSBBW, USSBBW, Feederism)

Are you sure?

The date

Joshua sat cross-legged on his worn couch, the light from his cell phone casting a pale glow on his face. He scanned the profile of the young woman he had been chatting with for weeks. Alina, the young woman with the dazzling smile and blonde hair that fell like a waterfall over her shoulders, had become a daily obsession. Her profile picture, a close-up of her face, showed her delicate features and the sparkle of her thick-rimmed glasses. Light freckles on fair skin, angelic features. Her profile spoke of her love of anime and manga, her collection of rare vinyl records, and her penchant for baking decadent desserts and cooking in general. A near-perfect package in Joshua's eyes. But there was one thing about her that remained elusive: her body.

The space around Joshua was an overloaded testimony to his bachelor pad. Posters of comic book heroes and rock bands adorned the walls, with a fine layer of dust accumulated at the edges. On the coffee table was a half-empty pizza box, next to a crumpled napkin. The faint smell of garlic hung in the air as he typed his message, his thumbs dancing across the screen. His place wasn't dirty, but it was definitely a mess. But nothing could have interested him less at that moment, as he indulged his preferences on the internet. Joshua was certainly not a weird nerd of the strange kind. On the contrary, he loved going out with friends, did a lot of sports and was well connected socially. But for one thing, he regularly delved deep into the perverse expanses of the internet, and Alina was currently the most important and beautiful part of his desire.

Alina's responses were always eager and playful, but she hadn't shared a full-body photo yet, which made him increasingly curious. Her selfies showed only her upper body, with strategically placed emojis or objects hiding the rest of her figure. Her voice in their chats was sweet, with a hint of naughtiness that made him smile. Joshua wondered what it would be like to finally see her in full, to understand the curves and lines that made her who she was.

The dating app they had met on was for those who appreciated a more voluptuous figure in a woman, but the unspoken rules of their digital courtship had kept the full extent of her beauty secret. Alina's messages suggested a shyness, and Joshua knew he had to be careful. He finally decided to take the plunge and ask her out. As he sat there in his apartment typing, he realized how long and intense his desire to meet Alina in real life had become. His heart pounded in his chest as he waited for her reply, and the anticipation built like the crescendo of a rock song.

Her reply came promptly, the screen lit up with a series of dots forming words. She agreed to a date. The rush of excitement that washed over him was palpable, an adrenaline rush that made him jump up and do a little jig of joy in the dim light of his living room. The date was set for the following Friday at a quirky little café she had suggested. It was a place that matched her personality, a mix of retro charm and modern comfort, a refuge for those who marched to the beat of their own drum, not to mention outsiders who were reluctant to leave their bubble.

But there was something else in Alina's message that made Joshua wonder. She asked if he really found her attractive, the way she phrased it, hesitant and uncertain in the text. He knew she was feeling vulnerable, and the gravity of the moment weighed heavily on his heart. He took a deep breath and replied, his thumbs moving purposefully.

“Alina, you are absolutely gorgeous. Your beauty is not limited to your face. I love the thought of holding you in my arms, feeling those curves that make you who you are.” He hoped that his words were enough to calm her nerves but also that they weren't too exaggerated. Of course, Alina was curvy; after all, you could see that from the few photos. Besides, this app was intended for chubby to fat women and their lovers. But Joshua was also aware that knowing this was one thing and showing it to women like Alina was quite another.

This time, her reply took longer. The screen went dark and he stared at it, hoping that the words would appear. When they did, they brought with them a wave of insecurity.

“But what if I'm too much?” she wrote.

“What if my weight is too much for you?”

Joshua felt his chest tighten. He knew he had to be honest without being unkind. He thought back to his past, to the relationships that had taught him to appreciate the full spectrum of beauty.

“Alina, I've always been into plus-sized women. The softer, the curvier, the better.”

He sent the message and waited, his heart pounding. Of course, he knew this was a crucial moment that could either build a bridge or burn it down.

The waiting was agonizing, the silence in the room intensified by the ticking of the wall clock. He could only hear the humming of his computer next to it. In his mind, images of Alina flashed by and he tried to piece together the puzzle she had so carefully hidden from him. He knew she was beautiful, but he wanted her to believe it too.

Finally, her reply arrived, and the bubble of anticipation burst with the soft glow of her message.

“I just want to be sure, Joshua,” she wrote, her digital voice quivering with doubt. Joshua could almost hear the sweet, shy voice reciting the line in his mind.

“Some guys say they like curvy girls, but they have limits. I don't want to disappoint you. Or even scare you off.”

He took a moment to collect his thoughts, knowing that his next words could either allay or confirm her fears. Joshua imagined Alina in his mind's eye. Her full, voluptuous figure took up the space in his mind that the real world often wouldn't give it. Dreamingly, Joshua imagined her broad hips, her fleshy, large breasts and the pretty, small paunch she must have from the sparse photos.

“Alina...” he began, ”I'm serious when I say that I love fat women, even extremely obese ones. That's sexy to me, very sexy. Your weight is not a problem for me. In fact, it's one of the things I find most attractive about you. It's obvious when we get to know each other through an app like this.”

He could feel the tension in her words when she replied, “But what about really, really fat women? I mean, gigantic fat...”

He was confused by this choice of words, even though he was basically into exactly that kind of thing and regularly watched porn or stories with exactly these protagonists. Joshua suspected that she was testing the limits of his attraction and gauging his level of comfort. Perhaps Alina was thinking that if he was attracted to extremely fat women, he would at least not be repulsed by her, at most chubby figure. He took a deep breath and sent his reply.

“I've dated women of all sizes and found that it's not the weight that matters, but the person inside. Of course, anyone would say that, but I also like very, very fat women and still it doesn't matter. If you're happy with yourself, then I'm happy with you too.”

“Are you sure?” the young, pretty woman asked via chat.

Joshua replied in the affirmative with the most intense, enthusiastic emojis available.

Alina's response was a simple smiley face, and he knew that was as much reassurance as she could muster at the moment. The conversation had been a significant step forward in their relationship, one that had made them both feel more vulnerable than before. Yet there was a newfound trust in their digital connection that made him eager for the date to finally arrive. Joshua wanted to show Alina how much she really meant to him at this meeting.