There's a lot of pictures in this so I'm doing the ones I've already shared elsewhere on social media in the gallery and then the new stuff inline in the post??? Semi-ideal solution. Thanks to all of you who weighed in on where and how you're reading things. It's really helpful for figuring out what to dedicate time to. (I'm so over trying to format things for different platforms on the internet!!!)
Anyway! Thinking in pictures! I'm trying it.
The first part of this comic is about finally getting my toes wet with a class on Schoolism, which I don't have bad things to say about! It's just brought up a ton of effed up internalized garbage about being an A Student that I find myself needing to interrogate.












I think I'm exaggerating for effect in this last bit. I know friendships are often forged out of more than skill affinity, but it's helpful to try and root out what I'm really afraid of when I confront the idea of making "bad art," and I think it is genuinely this. It is SO UNHELPFUL! WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT OF BEATING MYSELF UP OVER THE FEAR OF BAD ART? WHO DOES THAT SERVE?
It's a flavor of imposter syndrome I'm embarrassed to admit to, even after writing a whole book about it. Maybe not "I was never skilled enough to be here in the first place," but rather "I was, at one time, skilled enough to be here, but if I don't keep getting better and better I'm going to be left behind."
(I've gotta say, though, I love interrogating this stuff. That's the joy of having spent so much time in the Inner Critic mines. There's this feeling of "Oh hell yeah you're on MY TURF NOW" that comes along with naming all the horrible thoughts that try and stop me from making things.)
More on this later, I'm sure. I just promised myself I'd share this before the end of the week! I'm doing it! I'm sharing!!
<3<3<3
L
Andy Ihnatko
2022-05-24 20:59:33 +0000 UTCPhil
2022-05-24 17:58:09 +0000 UTC