the process
Added 2023-10-02 03:23:04 +0000 UTCHey y'all
I had the inspiration to film this video of my process right now. I started with the idea to write a song, and then the conversation took me to a few places. I have a wide range of emotions, as is the truth of all of this.
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this week has been somethin else
started recording my album, had about 7 days...really, 6 1/2...making some really wonderful things. I'm so excited for it. Unfortunately this came not without major personal conflicts ?
there seems to be a pattern I run, where I invite people into an emotional creative space of mine with something that's *really* important and big for me, and then they have a very, very big reaction to me in a very, very negative way
I cannot tell if I am turning into a monster, or if they are projecting, or if it's both, or if it's something else entirely
I am so mad, I am so hurt, I am so exhausted
I feel pretty in the dark
I held on to myself so, so hard. my whole heart hurts. I don't know how long it's going to be before I feel back to normal. I've had glimpses of it today, though I can tell this will be a long, slow one
I've been turning my phone off. I feel like I want to puke. I walked around outside today after getting groceries and I had to hold my heart space the whole way home because I felt like it was going to break out of my chest.
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For if/when you watch:
Here is a picture of the paper I was writing:
