meredith adelaide

Modeling // Desert

Added 2023-12-14 23:15:00 +0000 UTC

I went to the desert with other feral women to heal my heart.

We spent our days half naked creating, as it was what felt most natural. We'd open up about the tough things we had been holding onto and laugh about them. We'd massage each other's shoulders, make food together. I forgot what it was like to be tended to like this-- women with other women.

In the past, and still, it has been difficult for me to feel safe with women. A lot of the ones I have let close in have broken my trust in big ways, without the desire to repair. A consistent pattern with this has created what I feel to be one of my most tender, specific wounds. One of my biggest hurdles in life. One of my biggest blocks.

So how darling and special to have had this weekend!!

Instant film experiments, singing songs in the kitchen. Two of them can do this really insane baby voice that makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up and I can't tell if I hate it or what that feeling even is. Like I want to try doing it but I also never want to hear my voice sound like that! Aghhahaha.

Re: the gallery of photos above. My friend Katch has begun experimenting with in-camera double exposure techniques, and asked me to test a roll or two with her. This is one of my favorite things to do-- directed to precise movements, while also adding in any of my own instincts when the artist needs new thoughts to appear.

We used a wood panel to mask myself out while I moved between two exposures on the same frame. We were attempting to comment on the physical body vs the emotional, and the personality/perception vs internal feeling. I'd say we made a good start :)

(my favorite is #12)