A POSTERIORI

this will be a long and not rosy post, so if you don't want negativity - just thoughtful Toshi for you and better not read further ♡
I love you all and am very grateful for your support. now it's especially important ♡

________

they say journaling is therapeutic and good for mental health, well I'll try to get some points

what should I start with
maybe from a small piece of biography?
let's get to know each other a little better ♡

I was born in Asia, a country that I believe very few people have heard of. Turkmenistan.
in short, this is the same as North Korea, but without weapons

no freedom

no future

and all this thanks to the existing dictatorial system
and ignoring it by the world until it reaches the extreme stage.

my family were refugees, we fled to Russia in the hope of a peaceful life and future.
I was at the beginning in high school at that time. and moving reset my life

new place of residence, new people, new country, new traditions and habits.
I am russian, but I did not grow up in russia and everything was unusual for me.

winter, coniferous forests around .. I didn’t see anything of this..
it seemed like an adventure, albeit a rather difficult one.

but the most amazing thing that I met - freedom.
it seems I realized the depth of the importance of this concept too early.
(I would not like to go into details, there are many videos on YouTube about life in Turkmenistan, a lot of suffering is hidden behind the clown president)

we moved a lot to different cities, each time starting over.
new friends, new beginning every time. I got used to it over time.

and I do not complain, I will have something to remember in my old age ♡

but I always wanted to have my own home again, as in childhood, where you can come and know that in a couple of years you will not have to go somewhere again...

we have been living in St. Petersburg for 5 years now and I like it.
it's not heaven but i love this city
and I finally relaxed, here it is - my home and everything is fine..

hehehe..
feeling of deja vu? hello new dictator!

senseless deaths
no freedom
work for food
chaos

now for words against the government and its actions people are imprisoned for years..
1? 5? 15? it doesn't matter, it will break any normal life

I tried to support the opposition as I could.. maybe that wasn't enough
I felt where everything was going.. but I didn't want to admit to myself hoping for the best
I already saw it.. it won't end well

now is the beginning of a catastrophe that will cover the whole country

sanctions will not help quickly.
it's a game of attrition.

as long as the government has something to pay the military police who will beat the protesters, this regime will live.

and they will find this money, take it from doctors and teachers, from everyone, but they will definitely pay the punishers.

eeeh..
I really want to believe in good, in the insight of people

after all, people are not bad
but the government has been lying to them all their lives..
it's life in an aquarium

it hurts me to look at Ukraine.. what is happening is inhuman.
they are on the battlefield with the past, a past that has long since died out, which is trying to impose a "new" order.

and our common future and lives are at stake now.
it scares, but gives hope for bright changes.

the only question is the price of human lives with which we will all pay the greedy archaic past that enslaved this place.

________

there are a lot of things that don't work in my country right now.
complete uncertainty about the future.
and I understand that this is just the beginning.

♡ so.. i need your help ♡

to keep the ability to draw now I need an intermediary.

If you are ready and you have the opportunity to help, I would like to ask you to find out if your bank works with direct transfers to accounts in Russia
(+ you have paypal account)

I am ready to transfer my patreon balance to one of you, but I need to make sure that once a month you are ready to do this..
this is now the only way to get paid for my work (づ◡﹏◡)づ

I am ready to discuss all the details with you in the discord, please write to me if it turns out that this is possible for you

________

I'm trying to get back into rhythm and draw to distract myself from everything around me, so there are many drawings ahead!

and I will try to get back to the commission again!
maybe it will be easier for me to draw for someone now than for myself