Don't worry, I'm not gonna leave you hanging.

Emma could feel Regina’s eyes over her—all over her, in fact—sorting for the slightest hint of weakness, probably. Well, she wouldn’t be disappointed. Emma could feel sweat like acupuncture needles, on her brow, the nape of her neck, under her arms, behind her knees. How could she suddenly be doing this at the end of the work-day, right when she should be wrapping up to go home? She should’ve been given advance notice, like for a meeting. A chance to freshen up. What she wouldn’t give for a hobo shower right about now…

“’The e-mail tells me to go to Regina’s office,’” Emma read, forcing her voice to be as strong and strident as it can be. She won’t be intimidated. She’ll read this goddamn e-mail like it’s King Lear. “So I get up and I go. It feels like a mile, going through the dark office with all the darkened computer screens, the only light coming from screensavers and Regina’s waiting office. Finally, I get there and I’m feeling this burning in my legs, like I’ve had a really good jog… yes, Lily, such a thing exists…’”

“Speak up, please,” Regina said, jerking Emma back to reality. Not letting her lose herself in her recital, the bitch, her voice was perfectly audible…

Emma raised her voice. “”I open the door. Or I try to, because just as I’m reaching it, it flies open, and who should be coming out but Ruby, bare-ass naked. Thank you, subconscious.’” Emma deliberately met Regina’s eyes to dryly enunciate “Smiley face.”

Regina offered her a thin, challenging smile as she paused the recording. Then pressed her intercom button. “Ruby, would you join us for a moment?”

“Yeah, boss,” Ruby replied, and Emma suddenly felt her heart skip a beat.

Goddamn, but Regina knew every trick in the book. That confidence was part of what made her so… appealing, but it was a bitch to have it turned on you. As hot—Emma meant to think ‘empowering,’ she immediately corrected herself—as it was to see Regina demolish some jackass who doubted her credentials or criticized her because of her personal life rather than her work—and as fun as it was to imagine what else Regina might be a master of—at the moment, Emma wished Regina was at least a little bit human, feeling at least a little bit of the vulnerability she felt.

Ruby came in, still looking like she and Regina were role-playing some sort of Mad Men sex scene. Regina greeted her with a warm smile, in marked contrast to the decidedly more pinched one she gave Emma. At the moment, Emma would’ve given anything to be on Regina’s grin list.

“Emma here,” Regina said, “is under the impression that we’re lovers.”

“I didn’t say that!” Emma said quickly.

“You implied it.”

“I did not!”

Regina rewound the camcorder. Played the last few seconds. The audio quality was excellent. Emma had bought a digital camera and somehow it only managed pictures in sepia tones. Of course Regina would practically have her own Q Branch in contrast.

“I think that’s a very clear implication,” Regina said, while Emma looked around for a fire extinguisher that could handle her burning cheeks. “Now, Ruby—are we dating?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Are you single?”

“No. There’s this chick in security, she’s great, tightest ass you’ve ever seen—“

“Mulan?” Emma guessed, and Ruby nodded enthusiastically.

“Thank you, Ruby,” Regina said with a note of finality. “And am I single?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Thanks. That will be all.”

Dismissed, Ruby turned on her heel and left the room. She closed the door behind her.

“You may resume,” Regina said, pressing the record button again.