The Riddler Knows Everything

“You know the Joker has already done this?”

The Riddler scowled at Batman, resisting a peevish urge to once more check on his bounds. Around them, the game shot set of THE RIDDLER KNOWS EVERYTHING continued to neon in its glitzy glamour, looking like the floor show of some sixties casino, or a lounge act with the showgirls on break. “I realize that hack has done something similar, since he’s done about a million schemes with no thematic consistency, but I wasn’t inspired by him. Poison Ivy, Scarecrow, Mad Hatter, Hugo Strange, yes, they were inspirations, but the Joker is just a coincidence.”

Robin piped up: “You needed four people to rip-off the Joker?”

The Riddler set his tongue between his teeth, hissing. “You’re young. And girls mature faster than boys. I wouldn’t expect you to appreciate the intellectual substance I’m offering over a bunch of gaudy, overblown clichés.” He sidled over to Batgirl, aiming his cane at her face. “Perhaps you can see that I’m going for something a mite bit psychological, with literary aspirations and a real respect for the audience!”

Batgirl looked around. “Really, guys? I have to be the one to coddle the psychopath? Kinda sexist.”

The Riddler fumed. “Fine. Make your insults. You’ll just have to eat them as we go. As some of you may have noticed—being the world’s second-ratest detectives—you are all not only bound and chained, but hooked up to a device generously donated by Jervis Tetch, patron of the arts! Don’t worry, it’s nothing so crude as the manipulations you may be used to. It will simply require you to tell the truth, and we’ll see if that matches up with my deductions as a student of human nature. Now, our categories are…”

The Riddler slid his cane over to gesture at a giant wheel divided into pie slices, each one stylized with a title.

“SECRET IDENTITIES – HOW DID HE ESCAPE THAT DEATH TRAP – TRUE LOVE – HIDDEN DESIRES – MURDERERS & WHODUNNITS – WHERE DOES HE GET THOSE WONDERFUL TOYS – SUPERMAN – THE BATCAVE!”

“’Where does he get those wonderful toys’ is something the Joker said!” Robin cried.

“I know that! I do know that! It’s simply a homage, an acknowledgment that while I conceived of this game show idea entirely independently of the Joker, he had done a simplistic variation of the idea before me! That’s no reflection on my creative process! Just because the Joker throws a ton of crap at the wall and sees what sticks, then pairs it up with a hot crazy girl in a skintight outfit, does not mean he’s some original thinker! I mean, he did a Christmas special. A Christmas special! How commercial can you get? Just for that, you can go first!”

He slammed his cane down on a button at Robin’s bound feet. The wheel lit up and started rotating, lightbulbs around its circumference lighting up in sequence to match the spinning wheel. It came to a slow stop.

“’True Love,’ well, not the most interesting of categories, in terms of intellectual rigor, but you’ve got to do something to meet the audience halfway, I suppose. Here’s your question, bird-boy: how do you feel about your fellow caped crusader, Batgirl?”

Robin struggled, he flailed, but his eyes inevitably slipped to Batgirl, her and Batman arrayed along with him in a tight triangle. Batgirl’s dark blue cowl set off her pale, creamy face, reflected her bright blue eyes, while the yellow at the center of her chest seemed like a mocking reflection of her red hair, unable to capture its blazing intensity. The gray of her costume ran over her pert, nubile body, underlying it, making its skintight glory almost subtle in comparison to her wild hair and brightly colored accents, but there was no disguising the adorable, even beautiful set of her face, made tantalizingly incomplete by the mask that covered so much of it. More than her body, any man who saw her would want to rip off her cowl and see the rest of her gorgeous visage.

“I love her,” Robin said, the device strapped to his head humming steadily. “I have this crazy crush on her. But she flirts with Batman all the time and I, I don’t know how to feel about that.”

A picture formed in Dick's mind. It was like he was falling asleep and coming awake at the same time, losing himself in a hypnotically detailed recollection. He had gone to the Gordon family home to meet with the Commissioner as Robin. It was after dark and when he spied a light on in Barbara's room, he crept over to the one small window in hopes of getting a peek at her sexy, ripe young body. She was his girlfriend, after all. It wasn’t like it was wrong.

He had hoped to catch her naked or at least with very little on. But he’d gotten more than he ever could’ve expected.

Not only was she totally bare-assed naked, she was lying on the bed with her legs spread wide and her hand was rubbing all over her juicy cunt. It was dripping and glistening with arousal.

He had stood there transfixed, watching her run her slender fingers all up and down her hair-lined slit. The lips of her cunt were spread so he could check out the pink flesh between them.

"Oh yes, yes, Batman! Please don't stop! It feels so, so good!" He heard her moaning.

Standing there, watching the young girl rubbing and playing with her hot, tender cunt caused his prick to swell. It was crying out for attention he couldn’t give it and couldn’t give Barbara. He couldn’t even stop watching. He couldn't help himself as he watched the hot little vixen stroking and rubbing her wet pussy.

He watched the way she worked on her juicy cunt, trying to get herself off. It sure looked like she had plenty of experience at rubbing and playing with that sweet little pussy.

What he wouldn't have given to crawl through the small window and give his hard cock to her! Instead he was standing outside liked a pervert, watching the steamy cunt go to waste, helpless to stay or go.

"Coward!" he said in self-recrimination. 

Dick had continued to watch the young virgin burning her cunt up until she was finished. Then he had slunk off into the night. He couldn't face Commissioner Gordon that night after having just spied on his young daughter, his mind filled with fevered lust.

“Riddler, this is pointless,” Batman said in a deep bass growl, his emotions even more tightly controlled than usual in his fury. “The police are on their way. If there’s something you want to know, talk to me. I’m the one who matches wits against you.”

“If your little sidekicks are good enough to punch me in the face over and over again, they’re good enough to reveal the psychological underpinnings of all this self-destructive behavior. A teenage girl prancing around in skintight spandex around the criminal element? A young boy wearing bright red and green as he skulks around steathily? That’s the kind of human interest angle that keeps these things from getting too dry and academic. And, of course…” The Riddler drew an envelope from his coat, opened it up, and displayed the letter inside to all three. “I knew all of that! Because—“

Pressing a button on his cane, a prerecorded audience intoned “THE RIDDLER KNOWS EVERYTHING” over the PA system.

“The Joker did that too,” Robin said bitterly.

“Fine, I stole it. Great artists aren’t above stealing. I had my lovely assistants, Echo and Query, years before that minx Harley Quinn ever showed up. Have you ever heard me complain that the Joker took my elegant, classy, empowering warrior women and tacked it up into a vulgar display of prurient interests?”

“Yes.”

“Well, let’s just ask Batgirl what she thinks. About—“ The Riddler prodded her button, getting another spin of the circle until it landed on “Hidden Desires! How about it, Batgirl? Do you return Robin’s puppy love?”

Her device began working overtime, grinding as it hummed and lit up. “I… I do have a crush on Robin… but I have a boyfriend… and… the man I really want… is Batman!”

“Oh? Do tell…”

Batgirl told him. It just poured out of her, compelled from her, like the sound of her own voice was a lifeline she could cling to as she disappeared into her memories. The last time she’d masturbated, she’d been alone at home. She’d been staring out at Gotham Park and imagining walking barefoot on the soft grass, the birds singing, the warm sun on her naked body. Leaning back, her face to the sun, she’d thought of herself and Batman deep in those woods, hidden from view, their amazing bodies undressed, touching and playing with each other. Only she wasn’t Barbara. Batman’s cock was sliding into Batgirl’s unbelievably tight, hot cunt.

The image she drew in her mind was pleasant and her cunt began to pulsate, her clitoris swelling. She swung her uplifted knee to and fro as she idly fantasized about Batman and Batgirl.

That morning's blowjob with Dick had been very good, almost something special since it had been done with less frenzy. Her cunt tingled with a growing heat as she allowed her imagination free rein. She began to cup and squeeze one of her protruding tits, circling her sensitive nipples with the tip of her finger, feeling it grow taut against her dress.

In her mind she saw Batman’s tight ass writhing and bouncing between the slim thighs of Batgirl, his cock thrusting into that clinging, young pussy. Barbara licked at her lips, her eyes closed. Her imagination was so vivid she could almost feel Batman’s balls between her legs as his cock moved in and out of Batgirl's pussy. The scene in her mind was so strong she thought she could hear his cock sliding into that sucking wetness.

Her cunt was going into a slow burn. She shoved her upraised knee aside. She had put her panties on that morning and they were tight in her crotch. Her housedress was almost at her hips, and she left her tit and began to slowly move her palm up and down the inner surface of her thigh, teasing herself deliciously. A soft moan bubbled from her lips as she circled the tightness of her panties, then drew her fingertip lightly up and down the puffy lips of her concealed cunt. The crotch of her panties was wet and that made it more enjoyable for her.

Barbara's hips began to move, writhing against the cushion of the redwood lounge chair. The sun on her body—and especially on her exposed thighs and crotch of her panties—increased the exciting heat of her cunt. She moved her finger slowly up and down her pussy, tracing the outline of the tingling lips and applying a very light pressure to her swollen clitoris. Her other hand opened the top of her housedress, pulling it from her shoulders, revealing her tits to the heat of the sun. Her nipples were rigid and tingling.

Now and then Barbara used both hands to squeeze her tits together, trying to rub her nipples against each other. She moaned in soft ecstasy, eyes closed to enjoy the vivid mental pictures of Batman fucking Batgirl's red, red cunt just as she was doing.

Batgirl came back to herself, her face flushed, her nipples erect and pounding into the thin material of her suit as her breasts heaved. She barely knew where she was or what she was doing. She felt like Ivy had gotten her tentacles on her all over again…

“This is beneath you, Nygma!” Batman growled. “It’s obvious you’re manipulating these questions. Since when do you care about other people’s sex lives?”

“Since I promised to return the favor to Ivy, Scarecrow, Hatter, and Strange. Give the people what they want, Batman. And, of course—“ He produced and displayed another envelope, showing off its contents proudly, before hitting the button on his cane in such rapid succession that the recording played with a stutter.

“T-T-THE RIDDLER KNOWS EVERYTHING!”

Evincing bashfulness, Riddler swung his cane so the tip came down on Batman’s button. The wheel spun. “Your turn, Dark Knight. Who knows, maybe you’ll get an easy question like who Superman really is. I’ve already figured it out, of course, but we’ll…” The wheel came to a stop. “Oh. Guess not. Hidden Desires. How about it, Batman? Is there any room in the caped crusader’s heart for a little ginger Batgirl?”

All present had expected an epic contest of wills, some startling inner battle against the machine, perhaps actual harm to come to Batman before he gave in. But whatever meeting of the minds that had created the device, it was too good for that. Batman answered immediately, with his usual calm precision, only a glaring focus in his eyes showing off his incensed attitude.

“I’ve had sexual feelings about Batgirl. I’ve thought about her as I’ve fucked other women.”

Even as he spoke, Bruce's thoughts drifted to the young girl beside him. He wished he could get up, walk over to her, and just sink his hard cock deep in her hot little pussy. He wouldn’t even need to undo her bindings.

He fantasized about her all the time, imagining her putting her lips down around his swollen cock and taking it all in her sweet, sucking mouth, letting her wet lips sink down until they rested against his hairy balls. He could just feel his creamy cum shooting from his swollen balls to fill her sucking mouth to overflowing.

Dick watched Barbara so closely that Bruce was sure that her hot, sexy, little ass wasn't fucking yet. Although as good as she looked, he was sure all the young studs that lived in the area were sniffing around waiting their chance.

No, she wasn't fucking, but he knew she wasn't so totally naive about sucking and fucking either. The other night had proved that. The memories were burned into his mind, and he got a hard-on just remembering what he had seen.

Bruce walked in on Julie Madison with his hard-on looming up—and grinned when he saw Julie playing with her cunt. He stared at the young figure of the woman for a moment, holding his breath, admiring the upthrust breasts, slim waist and deliciously shaped legs which stretched down from the hem of the skimpy skirt that could’ve hid her lack of panties if it weren’t folded against her thigh. Julie reached to the front of her blouse, unbuttoned it and exposed the white, throbbing breasts. She wore a yellow bra. 

She gave him a bewitching smile. Bruce couldn’t help but think of the yellow that covered Barbara’s cleavage, skintight, sometimes even tearing and ripping in battle.

"I'm glad to see you," she said.

"So it seems," he replied, kneeling beside her, his huge erection casting an elongated shadow over her belly. She drew her hand out of her crotch and arched sinuously.

Having just seen Dick shoot in Barbara's eager mouth, Bruce was in the mood for a little cock-sucking as a prelude. He wanted to shove his prick in Julie's lovely face—and pretend that he was in Batgirl's sensual mouth.

He threw a knee across and straddled her, his ass resting on her tits and his prick jutting out over her face. Julie smiled. She had never refused him a blow-job yet.

Bruce shoved his meat out.

Julie craned her neck up and took his prick willingly into her lips.

He began to fuck her face vigorously, thinking about how Barbara had sucked Dick off and greedily gulped down his hot, thick spunk. He hadn’t meant to walk in on them. It had been an accident, and the stealth that had kept them from noticing him had been second nature. He’d closed the door again… but then he’d looked through the keyhole.

He wished that the girl were watching them at this very moment. Barbara had performed for his secret audience—now Bruce wanted to put on a show for her.

He rammed his cock down Julie's throat. His ass bouncing off Julie's upthrust tits, Bruce fucked her face frantically. His balls rolled up to her lips as he drove her head back into the pillow.

Julie expected him to cum in her mouth. But then he pulled his prick out and began to slide down her arched body. His balls dragged over her tits, then down her sleek belly. They rested in the curly vet of her raven-dark bush for a moment, his cock angled up like a spear stuck into her groin.

It would have been lovely to shoot his wad down her throat, of course. Bruce always enjoyed cumming on a blow-job and he knew that Julie loved to drink the stuff—as, he now knew, Barbara also did.

But after Julie had swallowed a load of spunk, she invariably expected to have Bruce return the oral favor by going down on her in turn.

Normally that was a pleasing prospect.

But today the circumstances were unique.

Bruce didn't want to spend the time to fuck her mouth or her cunt, nice as both prospects were.

The only thing to do was to throw a savage screwing into Julie's cunt and cream her off at the same time that he spilled his own spunk out, leaving her satisfied—so that he could sneak downstairs to spy some more.

He dipped down, and his cock slithered through her bushy vee and into her cunt. He worked the knob around in her pussy, then inched it up her hole.

He was thinking of Barbara's teenaged cunt.

Julie jammed her hips down to meet him, wondering vaguely why he hadn't cum in her mouth, Bruce began grinding in ferociously, stuffing her creamy cunt to the core. She closed her eyes, moaning, but Bruce barely noticed, pretending he was fucking the ass off Barbara Gordon.

Julie arched up sinuously, heaving her shapely ass up from the bed. Bruce groaned. Remembering how Dick had come on Barbara’s face, the man was sorely tempted to pull his cock out of Julie and give her the same facial Babs had received. But he fought against the urge. If he shot there, it would be the same thing as if he'd cum in her mouth—Julie would still expect a sucking as the culmination of the coupling—and that would further delay him on his way to play the voyeur.

He pounded in like a battering ram, shaking her pelvis, rattling her hipbones. His balls felt as heavy as sandbags as they bit her upthrust ass.

Gripping her under her ass, he held her bridged under him and began to run his prick in at an angle, so that every inch of his pulsating stalk was rubbing across her tingling clit as he sank in and pulled out.

It worked as he expected.

With his member massaging her clit and stuffing her pussy on every stroke, Julie began to dissolve. Her cunt turned to cream.

His cock sank in as if he were sticking it into quicksand.

"Cumming!" she gasped.

Bruce had been holding back, waiting for her. Now he let himself go. His cockhead blew and his member erupted into her loins in a volcanic explosion. Bruce emptied his balls and Julie melted in a wild orgasm. And as they shared a simultaneous climax, Bruce trembled with a fantasy of creaming Barbara's pussy.

Julie lay back, reined and smiling.

Bruce left her that way, far more interested elsewhere.

Before anyone could react to the revelation, battering rams hit the doors to the auditorium, splintering them open for a hail of flashbang grenades to enter the room. The Riddler threw himself to the ground, cringing as they went off in bursts of light, smoke, and sound. He was blind and deaf as he crawled on all fours for any solace, only to run into Commissioner Gordon and the SWAT team he was leading.

It took barely a second for the Riddler to be corralled, the Commissioner barely paying him any mind as he strode onto the stage to undo the bonds that held the vigilantes.

“You sure you want to do that, chief?” Inspector Bullock called back as he led the handcuffed Riddler away. “As long as we’ve got ‘em in custody, maybe we ought to at least sneak a peek somewhere or other.” He leered at Batgirl even as Gordon unlocked her. 

“Not if they’d done only a tenth of what they have for this city.” Gordon moved from Batgirl to Robin, unlocking him too. “Are you all alright? Do you need medical attention?”

“We’re fine,” Batman said curtly. “The plan worked, in a roundabout way.”

“Yeah, we caught up to the Riddler, now he’s in custody,” Robin said in a low voice. “Mission accomplished.”

“Go team.” Batgirl’s voice was high and unconvincing. “I need to get home. I think a long shower is in order.”

“The cave first,” Batman told her.

“What? But I don’t—“ Batgirl lowered her voice, even as Gordon took a hint and wandered away from the conversation. “—usually go to the Batcave.”

“This isn’t a usual night. We have some things to talk about. All of us.”