Don't Look Away update

“You know we’re not sleeping together tonight, right?”

Thankfully, Cass wasn’t cynical enough to be hurt by Steph’s statement. She was only confused. “Huh?”

“I’ve got this source, Linda? I’m pumping her for information. She’s probably gonna cozy up to me any minute—“ Steph said, looking around the dorm under cover of a stretch. “And once I’ve put her at ease with a nice little cuddle, I’ll see if she knows anything.”

“Linda,” Cass repeated. She would’ve sounded thoughtful if her voice wasn’t so flat. “I don’t… like her…”

Steph tried to put Cass at ease with a laugh and a pat on the shoulder. “You don’t have to like her, Cass. I don’t like her. She’s just really cute and has a good fashion sense and…” She could see she was losing Cass. “Hey, c’mon, we had sex with your mom. It doesn’t mean anything…”

“Do you think… I have… a good fashion sense?” Cass insisted.

“Yeah… I mean… we’re all wearing the school uniform.”

Cass raised her voice. “She is wearing… school uniform!” 

“Keep your voice down—it’s the way she wears it, okay?” Steph watched Cass turn away. “It’s not that great! It’s like a fad. She got lucky. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m going… to go… find Tim…” Cass announced.

“Okay, fine,” Steph said. “I’m not jealous. I don’t get jealous. This is not a jealousy type relationship.”

“Stop liking her… so much…” Cass said with finality before walking away.

Steph groaned. “You can’t tell me not to like people… I don’t tell you not to like people,” she muttered after Cass’s back. “You like Batman, God!”

She shut up quickly as Linda appeared next to her, dropping her backpack on Steph’s mattress. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Steph replied. She gestured vaguely at Cass’s receding form. “You remember Cass—my BFF…”

“Looked more like a lover’s tiff,” Linda observed.

“No, nah, we’re just a little… we’re very competitive. We’re fired up. We wanna get good grades and… valedictorians… can I help you?” Steph asked suddenly.

Linda smiled. “It’s almost lights out and it kinda looks like Cass won’t be coming back. If I happen to wake up in the middle of the night, mind if I keep you company?”

Steph smiled back at her and tossed her hair. “Go ahead. If you happen to wake up.”

Linda flushed a little, liking Steph’s flirty tone. “Who knows: I might have a dream about you.”

***

Steph couldn’t sleep. It took until 2 AM, but finally Linda slipped under the covers with her. She’d had her finger to the pulse long enough to know that cohabitation like this was frowned upon in the school, but girls who indulged in it tended to get enough warning to avoid being caught by the staff. It was too hard to distinguish from the girlish sleepovers and shared beds for anyone to be definitively accused of something more, so lesbian relationships ended up de facto tolerated, with a hint of the taboo that made it irresistible to any teenager even slightly inclined that way.

She took Linda in her arms, a slender nightgown the only thing Linda had on, and was surprised with how passive Linda was, seemingly only there to be touched and fawned over. Steph tried not to excite her overly—raining down kisses around her face, but nothing too passionate, and holding her, but not too close, too tight. It was as much faithfulness to the memory of Cass as it was trying not to cause a spectacle in the middle of the night. She didn’t want to go swinging while Cass was angry at her, and that gave her the strength not to risk getting caught doing cunnilingus.

“Mmm—I know why the bed feels warmer with you in it, but how come it’s so much softer?” Steph asked, giving Linda’s body a squeeze. 

“I don’t know. I don’t do this a lot. I swear, I really like you—I don’t do this with a lot of girls…”

“I don’t mind,” Steph said, kissing her scalp. “I’m just glad you’re here now.” She put her hands around Linda’s waist in an almost protective hold. “If anyone tries to make me go missing, they’ll have to take us together!”

“Don’t joke about that!” Linda chided. “It’s not funny. Brenda Jackson was a friend of mine.”

One of the latest girls to go missing. “You think she ran away?”

Linda shook her head. “I don’t know. She didn’t seem unhappy, but… humans are strange.”

“Yeah,” Steph agreed. “What about other people?”

“What others?”

“Did she get into a fight with anyone before she left? You think someone might’ve…”

“I’m not supposed to talk about this stuff,” Linda said abruptly.

Steph moved her hand to Linda’s hip, rubbing it fondly. “Hey, c’mon, it’s me. I’m hardly going to report you for something you said while we were spooning.”

Linda sighed, conceding the point. “Coach Bannon didn’t seem to like her. He and she got into it before she disappeared. But he doesn’t like anyone, and she… wasn’t much of a student. Always on her phone, never paying attention in class, never doing homework. So maybe she just decided to stop wasting her time, sitting in class half the day listening to stuff she didn’t care about.”

“Is that what you think?”

“I don’t know… I’m not supposed to get involved. I just hope she’s okay; I don’t want to make things worse by saying something wrong or doing something…”

Steph patted her thigh. “She’ll probably turn up. If she’s your friend, she wouldn’t want you to worry. Me, I’d at least send a postcard.”

Linda sniffled. “Wish she wouldn’t take so long.”

Steph pinched her lips together; Linda really was wrung out over this. She wasn’t the suspicious type like Tim—she’d only suspect Linda because it was always the last person you expect in a mystery—but she couldn’t really imagine Linda doing anything assholish. She put her arms around Linda and snuggled a little closer to her, hoping it would make it easier for Linda to fall asleep.

In the morning, Steph would feel guilty about not thinking about Cass from that point onward.