Renew Your Vows: The Cat Came Back The Very Next Day

Felicia hummed to herself, twitching her hips in a slight dance as she went about her robbery. She hadn’t been so happy in years. The Regent was dead, the heroes were back, the world was at peace, and she could steal shit again.

Well, she could always steal shit, and had, but the Regent wasn’t as understanding as your average New York circuit court judge. He liked public executions for people who stole as much as her, since the only one who had that much to steal was him, and the Regent was particular about people touching his stuff.

Now, Felicia always considered risk part of the game and part of the fun, but there was such a thing as too much excitement. And so, for years, she’d been nice if not good. But now the soft-hearted goodie two shoes were back in charge and she could expect a slap on the wrist if things went sideways.

Not only that, but Peter was alive. She hadn’t dared to check on him during the Occupation. They hadn’t been close when the world ended—she could be understanding about Peter loving another woman, considering she’d tried it herself a few times, but actually knocking one up—and she hated the thought that she might be under the Regent’s surveillance, someone just waiting for her to reach out to Peter so they could finally track down Spider-Man, the Last Avenger.

So she’d lived for years, hoping Peter would contact her and praying he would keep his distance, until he’d come back from his half-life to give the Regent a thrashing only her Spider could provide. It made her remember just how physical Peter could be, how he crushed her beneath him, his back gleaming with sweat, his wiry muscles rippling as he punished the mattress with her body. Just thinking about it made Felicia’s hips sway, put a smile on her face.

She didn’t have any illusions about their relationship at this stage of the game—in fact, she’d taken another lover last night, a one-time thing that was still a dull, aching throb deep in her body. But it wasn’t half so delicious as thinking of Peter, alive and well and with only one kid, so how well could Mary Jane possibly be taking care of him?

Sighing, she put the fantasy and the memory aside and went back to cracking the safe. It was no use letting herself get hung up on him again. She’d known better than to try and get through to him when he was simply married, she’d never gotten under his skin while Mary Jane was pregnant, and now that he was a family man, even the promise of good sex wouldn’t be enough to balance out the sleazy feeling she’d get from being that kind of woman. Felicia wasn’t chaste, but she was classy. And still too young to be nostalgic. Let Spider be all grown up—it’d been his lifelong ambition anyway. She still wanted to play.

The safe door swung open and as it did, an alarm blared out. Felicia cursed herself. She’d gotten rusty in her years as a black market fence, moving supplies and loot and favors around where the Regent couldn’t see. She should’ve known enough to pace herself with her big comeback, but the excitement had gotten to her, and she’d gone for all the big shiny pretties she’d coveted while the Regent was still around. Like a kid in a candy store, all sugar rush, no thought of keeping her eyes and her stomach in proper proportion.

Felicia threw the door as wide as it would go and grabbed everything she could, stuffing them down into the cleavage of her costume. And people wondered why she kept it zipped so low. After ten seconds, she called it. That would have to do.

She turned and ran, sprinting through the penthouse she’d invaded, her keen memory guiding her through the dark environs even though she’d only seen them on the way in. Momentarily she was out at the smoothly cut oval in the floor-to-ceiling window that she’d left herself in through. The de-cel line she’d lowered herself down on was still there. She lunged for it, catching it, and letting her momentum carry her out of the building on a swinging arc.

Soon, she let go of the rope, now firing off a grapple-line from her gauntlet. It caught another building as she fell, sending her on a mildly more controlled swing through the night air, a cool rush singing through the fur off her costume and along the skintight vinyl gloving her svelte body. When she ended this swing on a soaring dismount onto a rooftop, hundreds of feet away from the scene of the crime, Felicia felt like she needed a cigarette.

Then she heard a familiar thwip and felt a webline splat its grip against her back, right above the curve of her buttocks, which sent a nice tingle through Felicia—owing more to some delicious memories than the sensation itself, which was a not unpleasant swat of impact. “Just like old times, eh Spider?”

The webline pulled taut and Felicia stumbled back a few steps, almost pulled off her feet. She regained her footing to see Mary Jane Watson-Parker—Spinneret herself—holding the other end of the webline. “With your reputation, I’d ask what doesn’t remind you of old times.”

Felicia set her hands on her hips, a vestige of politeness keeping her from either going into the usual offense or using certain names that might be overheard. “MJ. The white looks good on you. And you’ve gotten off the pregnancy pounds. That’s good. Spandex can be so unforgiving.”

Mary Jane’s grip on the webline didn’t loosen a bit. “Uh-huh. Flattery won’t get you anywhere. And neither will bending over or jutting your chest out.”

“Oh?” Felicia stretched her arms above her head, thrusting her breasts out. “That’s not what I’ve heard about fashion models…”

“I’m a triple threat: actress, model, heterosexual.”

Felicia smirked. “Speaking of, where’s Spider?”

“He has his own route to patrol. It’s a big city. No reason for all of us to stick together.”

“That’s not how we did it,” Felicia pointed out.

“Maybe he thought he needed to keep an eye on you. Clearly, he’d have reason to.”

“Two, even,” Felicia quipped. “Now c’mon, don’t tell me you’re going to quibble over a few little gemstones? After all I’ve helped out—“

“It’s not like you ever babysat for us,” Mary Jane needled.

“Oh, you wanted me over? I know when I’m not wanted, Red. Or at least…” Felicia batted her eyelashes. “When people are trying to pretend I’m not wanted.”

“Don’t try some mean girl crap on me, Felicia. I like you, I really do, but I’ve got you dead to rights being a bad kitty.”

Felicia rolled her eyes. “If you say so. But we both know Spider would’ve let me go already.”

“Because you had a thing a million years ago?” Mary Jane drawled sarcastically.

“Because he knew he couldn’t handle me.”

With a flash of her claws, Felicia severed the webline holding onto her. Mary Jane thwipped out another one, Felicia ducked under it, cutting to the side. Mary Jane switched to impact webbing, explosions of web-fluid bursting like popped bubble gum at Felicia’s heels until she slid on her hip behind an air conditioning unit.

Mary Jane froze, aware this was just the kind of misdirection that could turn the tide of a fight. If she rushed in, there was no telling what Felicia might sucker her with.

“I like you too, Red,” Felicia called out from behind the AC unit. “And not just because of how you look in that ensemble. I really do want Spider to be happy and I guess he wants you and the kid and the family values. I couldn’t do that.”

“So I guess it all worked out alright,” Mary Jane replied, creeping her way around the AC unit.

“Almost. You still don’t appreciate all I’ve done for this city. You’d think actually fighting alongside Spider-Man would show you what I’ve been through.”

“It has. That still doesn’t give you the right to take things that don’t belong to you.”

Felicia chuckled. “Doesn’t it? Think of all the people I must’ve saved. If they were all being held hostage, the city would pay hundreds of millions to get them back. All I want in exchange for their safety is some nice shiny playthings. That’s a steal.”

Mary Jane gritted her teeth. Felicia had to be cycling around the other side of the AC unit, staying out of sight as she circled in the opposite direction. “Pun intended, no doubt.”

“Not to mention all the people Spider’s saved. I know you can’t put a price tag on a human life, but still, all that effort has got to be worth billions. And if he doesn’t want a reward…”

“You’ll collect on his behalf?”

“I’d call it more of an exchange rate. After all, he’s certainly got his money’s worth out of me…”

Mary Jane growled and leapt, landing on top of the AC unit. In a heartbeat, Felicia popped up from her crouch and roundhouse kicked to sweep Mary Jane’s legs out from under her. Mary Jane landed with little dignity on top of the AC unit, but managed to roll off it onto Felicia’s side. She came up onto her feet, cornering Felicia against the AC unit.

“Don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’ve got half of Spider’s powers. You’re just some chick who dresses like she carries a whip.”

Felicia pursed her lips. “I’m supposed to be afraid of half of Spider-Man? I’ve taken the whole man.”

Enraged at the constant reminders of Felicia and Peter’s sex life, Mary Jane lost her temper, which was exactly what Felicia wanted. When she took a swing at Felicia, the cat burglar ducked out of the way, and Mary Jane pulverized the AC unit. Her hand stung with the impact, distracting her long enough for Felicia to lunge on top of her. They sprawled onto the ground, Felicia’s claws inches from Mary Jane’s face, MJ awkwardly trying to fend them off.

“I’ve always kinda wanted to scratch up that pretty face,” Felicia purred. “But I suppose I could settle for shredding that dumb mask into ribbons…”

“My mask is exactly the same as yours, they’re just different colors!”

“Well, my color’s better!”

“Mommy, is that the Black Cat? Are you two fighting? I thought the Black Cat was one of the good guys…”

Both Mary Jane and Felicia looked to the roof’s parapet, where Annie May crouched down in eight-year-old pantomime of her father’s signature crouch. One look back at each other and Mary Jane knew that she couldn’t decimate her rival in front of her daughter, while Felicia couldn’t exactly beat up someone’s mom in front of them either.

“We were just sparring, sweetie,” Mary Jane said, getting up and helping Felicia to her feet. Felicia didn’t take Mary Jane’s hand. “Felicia here was helping me practice like your father used to. We agreed that she’d stage a break-in, not telling me where, and I would see if I could catch her. And I did. So now she’s going to give back all the loot she borrowed for our little training session.”

“Oh. Okay. So you’re friends?”

“We’re…” Felicia started. “We…”

“We are,” Mary Jane said. “We just don’t always get along. Except when it comes to… sparring. We both want to be at the top of our game when there are people in danger.”

“Why don’t you get along?” Annie May asked. “Is it because she used to date Daddy?”

“Where’d you hear that, sweetie?”

“It was on the internet.”

Mary Jane grew graven-faced. “You can Google the Black Cat? I thought Peter put up a program that wouldn’t let her do that…”

Felicia cleared her throat. “That was before your father and your mommy here got together. Once they realized what they had, we all knew that your father and I weren’t meant to be together.”

Annie May scrutinized her. “But you’re really pretty.”

“Yes, I know.”

“I mean, she wasn’t a model or anything,” Mary Jane muttered.

“If you were both so pretty, how’d Dad decide which of you he was in love with?” Annie May asked.

“Well,” Mary Jane began.

“She’s really pretty,” Annie May said.

Mary Jane picked her daughter up. “She is. But there’s more to being in love than thinking someone is pretty. I knew a lot of guys who were very handsome before I married your father.”

Annie May looked at her mother, aghast. And while Felicia said nothing, she raised her eyebrows eloquently.

“I didn’t know them very well. I…”

Felicia snickered.

“Really? You?” Mary Jane demanded.

“She’s your kid.”

“Yeah, she is.” Mary Jane bounced Annie May a little. “But your father was the most special of any of the people I had ever met and I was the most special of any of the people he’d met. Even someone like the Black Cat, who is very special and very pretty herself. And we wanted the same things, like the nice apartment we live in and that gerbil we bought and you, Spiderling. We both knew that if we were going to have a wonderful little girl like you, then the only person we could trust to take care of her was each other.”

“And not the Black Cat?”

Mary Jane looked at Felicia, who shuffled her feet laconically. “Well, Felicia would be a great mom, but she’s great at a lot of things, and some people decide they’d rather be great at those things than be great at being a mom. Now, we’ve imposed on Felicia enough with the sparring and her having to go out of her way now to put those jewels back—“ Mary Jane eyed Felicia meaningfully. “So let’s go find your Daddy.”

Felicia snickered. Mary Jane shot her a look. “What?”

“Nothing. Just remembering when I called him that.”

“Ewww,” both the Parker women said.