Spider-Boy

I am the Watcher and I speak to you now of the infinite complexity of the multiverse, where there is no end and there are no beginnings. In your limited perception of eternity, you observed that two universes merged into an Amalgam, where the legends of one world formed composites with their counterparts on another.

To you, this may seem a rare event. But to one who perceives even a fraction more of the fractal possibilities of an ever-expanding multiverse, these ‘rarities’ are as common as dreams within sleep.

Let me tell you, then, of two universes much like the pair you know. As in your experience, Spider-Man of Earth-616 and Superboy of Earth-2—or at least, all but indistinguishable variants of those two impressive timelines—came together to form Spider-Boy of the Amalgam universe. And, when the crisis concluded, they were separated. Remembering nothing of their time as a single gestalt entity.

Now know that this same experience was repeated countless times, in endless variations, that concluded far differently than you recall. For in one… not so very uncommon… the Spider-Boy was not separated quite so smoothly. What was once Superboy of Earth-2 became Spider-Man of Earth-2, and the life led by Spider-Man of Earth-616 now belonged to Superboy.

To them, nothing had changed. They were aware of no difference except on the most trivial level. But the fates of their borrowed lives were to change drastically.

Yet do not pity these two. For such variety is point and purpose of the multiverse. If they were not able to fulfill their destinies, at least they will find some happiness in their new existences. And though it may be cold comfort, this mismatch of man and boy at least provides the Watcher with much to chronicle. And in the end, what better can be said about two men than that they wrote with their lives a great story?

***

Kon gritted his teeth. When had New York airspace gotten so crowded? There were the skyscrapers, the helicopters, the sky-bridges, the X-Men, the Avengers, the New Warriors… it made him wonder how he’d ever managed it. It wasn’t like the skyline had popped up overnight, so why did he feel like he was divebombing a window washer every time he went five seconds without turning?

Sure, he could fly above the buildings, but he was trying to catch the Black Cat. Felicia was back to stealing precious artifacts, on the typical lame Robin Hood reasoning that the museums had stolen them in the first place. She was leading him on a merry chase and though Kon would’ve dearly loved to launch some sort of projectile to slow her down, he thought eye-lasering her would be a little severe.

Plus, he didn’t want to damage that bod.

Then Kon flew into a pigeon—a flerking pigeon!—and that was it. His eyes reddened and he lasered Felicia… right on her fur-lined boots.

Felicia was about to make another twisty little maneuver when she realized her fur trim was on fire. Squealing, she stopped to quickly pat the flames out, then slap out the fire that spread to the fur on her gloves.

Kon landed next to her. He blew out her gloves with a little superbreath. Couldn’t have the fire spread to the little feather boa she had around her chest, after all.

“Bad kitty,” he tsked at her, plucking a singed fur off her glove. “Why can’t you be naughty in a slightly more socially acceptable way? Knocking glasses off tables, for one. Maybe manning a glory hole.”

“I’m being as good a bad girl as I can be,” Felicia husked. “Come on, Kon, we both know you’re a dog. It’s no fun to catch me. What you want is to chase me up a tree.”

She reached out to him, petting her gloved fingertips along the groin of his costume—and the bulge that was growing every moment he was so close to her imposing bust.

“A nice, tall tree…”

Kon didn’t get flustered. He only smiled wider. “I can’t let you get away with the goods, kitty, just because you dress up in a leather catsuit. Then everyone would try wearing a leather catsuit and you know Hammerhead doesn’t have the figure for that…”

“I’m fine with being the little exception to your rule,” she purred. “Well, maybe me and White Rabbit too. We have matching fur.”

Kon took her satchel off her shoulder. “Let’s table that thought for now. What are you suggesting? I take your loot back to the museum, but say you got away?”

Felicia grinned slyly. “I know those stuffed shirts won’t give you a finder’s fee, so I could do that on their behalf. Just to show there’s no hard feelings. And maybe you could give me a little something for my time? A little white gold, maybe? Or a lot, if Mary Plain’s still trying to convince herself she isn’t addicted to that huge—”

“I appreciate the relationship counseling,” Kon interrupted. “And your unique take on restorative justice. But what’s to stop you from going right back to the museum and stealing it again?”

She pursed her lips. “You could fly me to the Bahamas? C’mon, Kon, we both know you’re not going to put me in jail.”

“You’re right. But you are going to get punished.”

Felicia bit her lip. “Do your worst.”

“Felicia, you couldn’t take my worst. But let’s find out what you can take.”

He laid a hand on her shoulder and suddenly, like a popped balloon, Felicia’s catsuit literally exploded off her.

Kon left her in only her boots, shreds of leather falling at her feet like the remains of a blown-out tire. Her breasts—each the size of a luscious cantaloupe—quivered at suddenly being released from their confinement. And her buoyant ass, thick and tautly skinned, jiggled like it had been smacked.

Reflexively embarrassed by her sudden stripping, Felicia covered her groin with one hand and laid her other arm across her breasts. There was still no hiding the sheer suppleness of her naked body, especially on a rooftop at night, the cool air prickling her bare skin like a physical manifestation of all the eyes that could behold her in a city of millions. Or perhaps just Kon’s. He certainly leered at her with the collective lust of an apartment block.

Kon grinned. He circled around Felicia while she still sputtered in disbelief, taking a good look at the decadently fleshed ass that Felicia was unable to cover. Her white hair spilled down her pale back like trickles of spilled milk on a white tablecloth—Kon had an urge to lick one up.

He brushed a strand aside and touched the bare flesh of Felicia’s back; one of the few parts of her that was usually covered up. Felicia quivered, shocked all over again at being touched in the middle of her public humiliation.

“I notice some of your anatomy you’re not covering up,” Kon quipped, patting Felicia’s well-formed rump. This time, Felicia let out a little squeal, the taboo being broken was so complete. “Is that what you want me to play with?”

“What do you think you’re doing?!” Felicia gasped. “You’re a hero!”

“Believe me, I am questioning that at the moment. Because if I were a villain, I could do all sorts of things to you.” Kon circled in front of Felicia again. He brushed his forefinger along her lips—Felicia could only wonder if that had been the hand that had teased her naked ass. “I was talking about your lips, though. Scout’s honor.”

“You were never a boy scout.”

“I was cloned from one.” Kon leaned in, which gave him a great look down Felicia’s body at the cleavage she could barely conceal behind her arm. “You know you’re one hell of an escape artist. You even give me the slip half the time. I bet you could make it back to your apartment without anyone seeing you. Of course, if I see you in your bad girl costume again, you get another taste of my tactile telekinesis.”

Felicia sneered at him. “And what happens if there’s another symbiote invasion and you need my help?”

“I guess you’ll just have to fight in the nude. Relax—no one cares when the Vision does it.”

Felicia ground her teeth together. Then she smiled. “Fuck, Super… you have been thinking about how to punish me.”

“I go to dark places when I think of how to punish Gobby. You’re way more fun. Now, you mentioned a finder’s fee?”

Felicia’s jaw dropped a little at his audacity. “You’re serious?”

“I know we were too classy to spell it out, but if I let you go—white gold, remember? Here I am, letting you go…”

“You destroyed my costume!”

“You were barely using it. I could see just about everything anyway!”

“And what would the Avengers say about you accepting sexual favors?”

Kon shrugged. “The way I see it, I’m the one doing the sexual favor. Because you know you’re going to enjoy this.”