Sore Wives Making Merry

The hostess didn’t need to be told that Sue was meeting a friend. She recognized the regular and, picking up a menu, led Sue up the stairs to the mezzanine. There, Japanese fusumasplit up the booths, offering quiet and privacy to each guest. But with the translucent screens allowing dark silhouettes to be seen through the lit-up washi, along with the somehow suggestive kanji script and sensual emaki renderings that shaded the colorless washi, there was something provocative, something exhibitionist, about stepping inside them.

Sue was reminded of Dita von Teese’s act with a giant martini glass. If she were in a wineglass instead, the glass walls of her playpen extending above her head, would it cease to be a striptease?

The hostess drew aside the sliding door and Sue slipped inside to find Lois waiting for her.

“Have a seat, Mrs. Richards. I already ordered for you,” Lois said, giving a nod to the hostess to confirm that Sue’s food was on the way.

The hostess bowed graciously in assent, then slid the door shut with a moshi-moshi, locking the two women in among the risqué shading on the paper walls. It made Sue feel a little like she’d agreed to hold a meeting in the middle of an orgy, or used some important document as a bookmark in a copy of the Kama Sutra.

But that was just New York’s hipster scene, she supposed. All she and Lois really cared about was that the food was good, affordable, and the décor wasn’t a complete eyesore.

With the hostess gone and the door closed, the booth was surpassingly quiet. Sue wasn’t surprised that in this world of Avengers and Kryptonians, there was a way for the all-but-nonexistent material that walled them in to be soundproof. But she was always taken aback that the restaurant bothered.

Or maybe it was just odd that only this restaurant did it, while every other establishment she went to, no matter how high-class, just trusted their clientele to keep voices low.

Lois smiled at Sue as the blonde sat down beside her. Her arms went around the other woman in a quick hug and she kissed her on the mouth. Sue’s arms wrapped about her neck and held the embrace until the kiss ended in giggles.

“You certainly have a lot of energy to burn,” Lois said in a near whisper. “Maybe that’s the drawback of invisible forcefields for a power. You can make a rock big enough to flatten the city, but how satisfying can it be when no one sees it?”

“Reed is cheating on me,” Sue replied.

“Yes, yes, I know, with his work.”

“No, he’s married to his work,” Sue retorted. “He steps out on it with me. But now he’s fucking She-Hulk. How about you, how’re you finding married life?”

Lois grinned. “You should’ve been a journalist, the way you can hook a girl and then waste her time with bullshit.”

“It’s a legitimate question.” Sue picked up her drink, which thanks to Lois had been waiting for her. “You’d think an interviewer would be sick of listening to people talk about themselves. So c’mon. How’s Supes?”

“I’m not sure I know,” Lois said with a mischievous smile. “He keeps being called away for weeks, even months at a time. But when he’s here, I can’t complain. He’s the perfect husband. Does every chore, spoils me endlessly, can’t get enough of my body. So I love being a married woman. What I can’t stand is being a bachelorette, which is what I am most of the time.”

“Try being a single mother,” Sue said, something about Lois’s inborn competitiveness driving her to try and one-up the brunette.

“Try having a husband who isn’t in the same building as you,” Lois quipped—trust a Pulitzer winner to know her way around a bon mot.

“The same building but worlds away. Your husband can fly to you in the time it takes me to microwave a burrito.”

“If he can keep it a secret. Try pulling that while working at a newspaper. And Perry keeps sending us on international assignments. If he’s not away, I am.”

“Writing another bestseller, you poor baby,” Sue grinned.

“Don’t tease. I’m speaking truth to the power,” Lois said. “And you’re being a mommy—“

“Hey!”

“You love being a mom, I know, I know. I love being a writer. So if we don’t have men to love us, at least we still have something to love.”

Lois held her glass out and Sue clinked it in a toast. “So what are you writing these days?”

“Still trying to put me off?”

“It’s a vicious cycle,” Sue commiserated. “Reed puts me off all the time, so now I’m taking it out on you. Unfair, isn’t it?”

“No. I’m used to other women resenting me for looking this good, being this successful, and marrying the most eligible man in Metropolis.”

“But you can’t tell them you’re married to him,” Sue pointed out.

“Not him. I mean the tradcore farmboy with the soft nerdy side. Admit it—you’re jealous.”

“I was, but then I stopped turning invisible to sneak in on your rendezvouses.”

Lois needled Sue with her eyes. “Don’t play with my heart. I’d love thinking you were spying on us. I mean, when you can stay in and watch Johnny bang supermodels two at a time…”

“My brother? Eww!”

“All cats are gray in the dark.”

“Not what that expression means, journo.”

“A big dick is a big dick,” Lois reasoned. “You think I’ve never thought about Superboy?”

“Clones don’t count; ask MJ.”

“I will,” Sue said. “That’d make a great chapter in my book.”

“I already asked about that. You don’t have to bait me.”

The waiter arrived with their food. As usual, Lois had put in a superlative order, for both herself and Sue. Sue eagerly dug in, but not before eying Lois.

“C’mon. Spill.”

Lois held her chopsticks threateningly, but held off on mastication while Sue stuffed her face. “How do you feel about the big A?”

“Anal?”

“Adultery.”

“No way, we’re talking about your book, not Reed. You just have to wait.”

“I’m not talking about Reed. I’m talking about women like you and me, getting laid when their husbands aren’t home. And why shouldn’t they be? It’s what their husbands are doing.”

“Clark?”

“He keeps getting Cat Grant going out with him on assignment. Fucks her all day long at the hotel, then flies back to me—“

“And has nothing left?” Sue teased.

“Oh, he has plenty left. But I’m saying why shouldn’t I enjoy a stiff prick when I get the chance? Why shouldn’t any woman?”

“Because it’s supposed to be her husband’s stiff prick she’s enjoying.”

“If it’s stiff when she wants it,” Lois said. “I suppose that isn’t a problem for you. Or me. Clark will get me alone in a supply closet, or a bathroom, or an elevator. He actually gave me a signal watch… I’m supposed to press it when I’m alone and he’ll… I’m like Pavlov’s dog with it! I touch it and there’s supposed to be no way for me to hear the signal, but I start getting horny. I mean really horny. When he gets to me—and it only takes a few seconds—I’m soaking. He just puts it right in.”

Sue grinned. “I’ve been wondering why you switched to skirts. You were always such a pantsuit girl…”

“Says the woman who wore that blue lingerie with the big 4 cut out right between her nipples…”

“And I still would wear it if Reed didn’t decide that my four was just for him.”

“The hypocrite. And him giving his Stretch Armstrong dick to other women. Not that I have room to talk.”

“Oh?” Sue asked. “You’re stepping out on Clark?”

“Stepping out? Hardly. Lucy decided to pay us a surprise visit; guess what surprise she got? Well, she wanted in on it too, so what was I supposed to do, tell my sis no? When Clark’s clearly fucking me every chance he got. Just like when we were kids; I have to share my toys with the baby…”

“No wonder you think I’m running around with Johnny.”

“It’s not like we played doctor growing up. Lucy and I just get so into what Clark is doing that…”

“Hey, I completely understand. It was all I could do not to join in myself.”

Lois bit her lip. “So you did spy on us.”

“And I’m not ashamed; not when I saw what you two did. I wonder what all your fawning readers would think of you if they knew you beg to get cock-slapped.”

Lois guffawed. “That isn’t even the half of it. Lucy took a bit too much advantage of us all being under one roof last Christmas. Mom walked right in on them. The only way to convince her that Clark wasn’t cheating on me was to show her that, well, she could get in on it too. Now he’s fucking all three of us; as if poor Clark wasn’t busy enough!”

“Wish I’d caught some of that action,” Sue rued. “Sounds like I missed out when I watched you getting a prick to the face.”

“Don’t be such a grouch,” Lois told her. “Or I’ll take my hand away from your pussy. And we both know you’re too hot to let me do that.”

“It’s not your hand turning me on,” Sue told her. “I was just thinking of what Reed did. When he cheats, he certainly doesn’t keep it in the family…”

“You’re trying to impress a woman who’s fucking an alien,” Lois replied. “But go on. I like the way your pussy quivers when you think about being cheated on, you big cuck.”

“It was Jen. She picked Reed up right in front of the Baxter Building and drove him out to a hotel. I followed them. Invisible. Little forcefield surfboard…”

“Dignity, ever dignity,” Lois intoned.

Sue went on as if not having heard her wisecrack: “It was totally shameless. This was around four. They went in, ordered room service, watched a movie. They made an absolute date of it! It was dark outside by the time they finally got down to business.”

“Did you have one of those nosebleeds from staying invisible for so long?” Lois asked.

“Please. I could stay invisible, standing on my head, for a week without blinking. But people see me straining to forcefield a herd of rhinos and suddenly they think I can’t move a pencil without bulging the veins in my forehead…”

Lois sighed. “I take it back. You wouldn’t make a good journalist. Get to the fun stuff already.”