♡ Health & Mental Update - Thank you for being patient with me ♡

( Warning : MUCH TEXTOOO )

Hello sweeties, I'm so sorry about having to take a small break from doing things. I really hope I didn't worry you so much but if I did, It's okay I'm alright now. I promise, I took little extra time just to make sure I didn't regress back into a bad health state but for now I'm okay I believe so and I'm stable health wise as well much better mentally even though I still am filled with worry here and there. Spending time with you always brightens my day, thank you for being in my life. I am feeling much better now and have been working on some things in the background to release this month for you so please keep an eye out!

I appreciate you all so much for being so patient with me throughout this hardship in my life that has turned many things upside down for me after losing my Paypal. The hardest truth to swallow is unsure I will ever get it back even with professional help but I can only hope so. And the fact I'm locked from working with pretty much over like a grand % of artists out there because many use Paypal as form of payment due to business paypal protecting your IRL name and Address. Many artists just want to be known as their usernames and don't want to doxx themselves, I too was one of those people that is why Paypal is such an important asset to have. And if your blocked or locked out forever, things become harder.

I've been needing to either expose my identity to the artist I'm working with by using my personal Paypal and pray to god they are nice people who don't intend to hurt me or doxx me. Or how I've been depending on some friends to help me pay artists and then paying them back.. It's been so stressful I spend many nights crying and wondering what I did to deserve this. I truly wish I had not been so naive and listened to my inner voice that told me, I needed to remove nsfw content from Patreon because I had this impending doom feeling this would happen to me and so it did. Never doubt your gut feeling, always follow it.

I do not have a spouse/partner/husband that could help me. Most people could brush this off and probably use their spouse's account but I do not have that, I've been single all my life and I don't have that kind of path I can choose.. And unfortunately my connection to my mother renders my mother out of the picture to be able to register a business account in her name. They will see the connection and then possibly terminate her account too as well as possibly claim the remaining money in my account for having gone against TOS or something. I don't want to mess with that, It's so scary..

I am so sorry for venting like this but I want you to know why things have been so hard for me lately, the stress was enough it sent me to have the health scare of my life which brought me to realize I need to tend and care for my physical body more then simply wearing it down. I never believed I had a purpose in my life before so it was easier to do that but now I found my purpose in life to be by your side and bring smiles and warm feelings to you.. To just be able to brighten your day even if it's just a little... Anything I can do to be able to make life little bit brighter, It's my reason for always waking up in the morning and for always pushing through even the hardest moments in my life.

I always tell myself my Astros & Astrons are waiting for me. So thank you so much from the bottom of my hear for being so kind, so patient and so caring and loving.. so understanding of this stressful situation in my life. I'm remaining positive as much as I can, I have a feeling things can be resolved somehow!! I will keep trying my best and start to take better care of myself sweeties. I want to be able to share my whole life with you as long as you want to stay by my side. I love you so much, thank you for being here for me in such a hard time in my life. ♡

milky ♡