It occured to me that if I'm using Blender for background elements, I might be able to use it with some effects that have given me trouble in the past.
These are super rough, I spent maybe ten minutes on it, but it's a nice proof of concept. Something that might help me come up with fancier effects by giving me a decent shape to work off of or reference.
Put the raw textures I used at the end here - might play around with it more in the future.