Punching Day: Karate Blazers 🌭
Gamers love to nostalgia-wank about the good old days of gaming, back when everything was bits and women weren’t interested so it didn’t even matter that ...
2020-11-03 13:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
1900HOTDOG posts
Learning Day: Science 4 for Christian Schools - Teacher's Guide 🌭
Two Learning Days ago we looked at Science...
2020-11-02 13:01:01 +0000 UTC View PostTeamworking Day: Hausu 🌭
Brockway: If you’re talking weird horror flicks, somebody will inevitably say you have to see Hausu, the 1977 Japanese haunted hou...
2020-10-30 12:01:00 +0000 UTC View PostFucking Day: 101 Ways to Get and Keep His Attention 🌭
"Men! WHO CAN FIGURE THEM OUT?" are the first words 101 Ways to Get and Keep His Attention says to the reader, and...
2020-10-29 12:00:02 +0000 UTC View PostNerding Day: Ultimate Tag 🌭
Ultimate Tag is a real show that I did not make up no matter how many times I fact check this sentence. Nope, still real. Are you sure? Yeah, holy sh...
2020-10-28 12:00:03 +0000 UTC View PostPunching Day: Karate for Snakes 🌭
"Take this book! It's too late for me!" screamed the man who leapt through my window. I nodded, mistaking these for the words of a dying man. Instead, he rema...
2020-10-27 12:01:00 +0000 UTC View PostLearning Day: Captain Video vs. The Space Idiots 🌭
Captain Video and his Video Rangers was a 1950s sci-fi TV series that absolutely pioneered the burgeoning art of not giving a shit. They barely named...
2020-10-26 12:01:01 +0000 UTC View PostUpsetting Day: 1,003 Great Things About Being A Woman 🌭
Let's talk women, ladies, and all the things that make women "Great!" Shoes! Underpants! Shoes! Shoes! Can you name 999 more? Stop, don't bother! In 2005, "au...
2020-10-23 12:01:00 +0000 UTC View PostFucking Day: Denise Richards' Hottest Sex Scene 🌭
The last movie sex scene I brought you was that time the kid from A Christmas Story jacked off a sentient dirtbike. But that was more a condemnation ...
2020-10-22 12:01:01 +0000 UTC View PostNerding Day: Howard Johnson's Sega Game Tips 🌭
Sometimes cross-promotions are successful, like when the Target Dog fought and ultimately killed the Taco Bell Chihuahua. Of course, today, we're not going to...
2020-10-21 12:00:04 +0000 UTC View PostPunching Day: Karate Rap 🌭
Basically every hobby I have is either problematic in nature, or quickly becomes problematic because of the way I do it. Take memes: I can’t just enjoy them...
2020-10-20 12:01:01 +0000 UTC View PostLearning Day: Science 4 for Christian Schools 🌭
There is no shortage of knowledge out there. A woman named Annie Hawkins-Turner has the world record for biggest tits, for example. Yet there are so many myst...
2020-10-19 12:00:03 +0000 UTC View PostUpsetting Day: The Over the Top Podcast 🌭
Happy Upsetting Day! Hopefully you’re not upset that 2020-10-16 12:01:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Fucking Day: The Better Sex Guide to Anal Pleasure 🌭
Oh, hi! Do you like butt stuff, only you wish it was more of a clinical exploration of the erogenous clusters inside your anus? Then you'll love the 2003 VHS ...
2020-10-15 12:01:01 +0000 UTC View PostNerding Day: The Night Man Rollerblade Episode 🌭
Malibu was a slipshod comic imprint that could have only existed in the gimme-gimme-glut of ‘90s comics. Malibu’s entire business model was “mom knows y...
2020-10-14 12:00:22 +0000 UTC View PostPunching Day: The Bouncing World of Road House 🌭
Road House is not the Citizen Kane of bouncer movies. Citizen Kane is the Road House of newspaper movies. This is my third and possibly final column in the series I'm calling, "How The Eighties Convinced Men They Coul...
2020-10-13 12:01:01 +0000 UTC View PostLearning Day: Meet Buster Sales! 🌭
Blockbuster died so hard that today it’s a joke: a punchline whose setup is how terrifyingly fast new technology can destroy whole industries. But back in t...
2020-10-12 12:02:10 +0000 UTC View PostUpsetting Day: Dear Nintendo My Life is a Goddamn Mess Part II 🌭
Welcome back, 1-900-HOTDOG readers! We now rejoin my responses to Nintendo Power's reader mail responses 2020-10-09 12:01:00 +0000 UTC View Post
Fucking Day: Hololive 🌭
Fucking is simple. Find the hole or surface of your choice and apply friction until your mother is ashamed of you. Technology made fucking complicated. The internet drove fucking insane. Let’s talk about Hololive, which is a Japanese Vtuber talent age...
2020-10-08 12:01:00 +0000 UTC View PostNerding Day: Dear Nintendo, My Life is a Goddamn Mess Part I 🌭
Many years ago, I put a thing on the Internet called "Seanbaby's NES Page" which featured a section called "Dear Nintendo, My Life is a Goddamn Mess." It was about weird letters fans wrote to Nintendo Power magazine which they somehow chose to print. An...
2020-10-07 12:00:03 +0000 UTC View PostPunching Day: Undercover Grandpa 🌭
I normally have a strict rule against watching movies with names that are too close to what their porn parody names would be (Grandpa Under Covers), but I put my principles aside for Undercover Grandpa. After all, it is one of the best...
2020-10-06 12:00:10 +0000 UTC View PostReflecting Day: Seven Months of Hot Dog 🌭
It's been 7 months since we started this website-- an oasis of fun designed so two incredible men could produce short bits of daily hilarity. But we are not men of short bits. Our mighty hands type jokes by the thousands. Our strong backs hunch over to ...
2020-10-05 12:00:05 +0000 UTC View PostUpsetting Day: Love Beyond Circuits, Love Beyond Flesh 🌭
Making fun of fan fiction is tricky. On the one hand, it absolutely deserves to be mocked. On the other hand, you’re absolutely an asshole for mocking it. For starters, a professional writer making fun of an amateur writer is generally considered punc...
2020-10-02 12:01:00 +0000 UTC View PostFucking Day: The Godek Podcast 🌭
In man's quest to get his dong into things, he has tried an infinite number of options. A romance "expert" named Gregory JP Godek made it his quest to list th...
2020-10-01 12:01:05 +0000 UTC View PostNerding Day: Chojin Sentai Jetman 🌭
You probably know that Mighty Morphin Power Rangers was a recut of a Japanese show with new American actors. It wasn’t white-washing, but it was white-splicing, which… actually sounds way worse, like an extremely popular thread you’d find...
2020-09-30 12:00:04 +0000 UTC View PostPunching Day: The Stunts of Steven Seagal's Kill Switch 🌭
Today is my 15th 1-900-HOTDOG Punching Day article, and according to Punching Day tradition, this is the anniversary where I give you, my lover, the gift of Kill Switch. Kill Switch is, of course, the 2008 direct-to-video "a...
2020-09-29 12:00:03 +0000 UTC View PostLearning Day: How to Overcome Lust 🌭
“Do you want to fuck them? Do you want to fuck them all? It’s up to you whether or not you fuck the whole world. But I’ll warn you now: You’ll have to work very hard not to.”
That sounds like the introductory narration to a banned ...
2020-09-28 12:01:01 +0000 UTC View PostUpsetting Day: The Prison Alphabet 🌭
Here in America, we've designed an easily corrupted, very racist justice system. Then we incentivized everyone involved in that system to be the maximum amount of lazy and evil. After that, we declared it a virtue for you to put all your trust into it. ...
2020-09-25 12:01:01 +0000 UTC View PostFucking Day: The Several Opportunities For Sex Of Black Scorpion 🌭
When the internet was still in its early days, we had not perfected the fine art of masturbating to nerd shit. The will was always there, but the technology simply hadn’t caught up yet. While you waited twenty minutes for a low resolution s...
2020-09-24 12:00:03 +0000 UTC View PostNerding Day: Show Off! How To Be Cool At Parties 🌭
The year was 1986, and being cool at parties was in. But cool at parties wasn't something you could simply decide to be, nerds. You had to put in the work. You had to watch "top-rated star" ...
2020-09-23 12:01:14 +0000 UTC View Post