Slate nodded slowly and thoughtfully. "Yes, a harder healing trial," he said. "They're called challenge trials, and they're required for attunement to certain dungeons. I…" Slate hesitated. “I don't think you are advanced enough for one. But if you're looking for practice without consequences, that would be the way to do it."
Rick cons...
2025-01-03 14:00:12 +0000 UTC View Post
The island was an enormous floating water lily, two hundred feet across, with a bright pink flower rising fifteen feet high in its center. Magen had spotted the puzzle box for them. It nestled in the center of the flower, and surrounding it were almost invisible lux spirits similar to Magen himself, with a faint blue-purple sheen to...
2025-01-02 13:00:11 +0000 UTC View PostRick walked out to meet Sam. They met up on the edge of the bluff overlooking the desert, with the ruins of the ancient crashed city looming above them and the lights of Angels’ Landing beginning to blossom off to the south.
Sam looked tired. She was wearing a long white great coat, long and flowing, with gold buckles. It hung open to re...
2025-01-01 14:00:09 +0000 UTC View PostNote: reworking some previous bits. I've updated Bk 3 Chapter 8 if you wish to reread. It's not critical, just the first of a couple small course corrections. I'll keep you all posted as I go if I make changes.
They found a second puzzle box, floating on a tiny and enormous broad leaf curled...
2024-12-31 13:00:11 +0000 UTC View Post[Quest Emergency Stage: Defend the Incursion!] appeared. [Defend the Rork village from the ancient war machine the miners have dug up].
The party ran along the levees between fields, Rick in the lead. He ran flat-out, watching his step to avoid falling into the water-filled paddies.
Behind them ...
2024-12-30 14:00:11 +0000 UTC View PostQuick FYI: I'm doing some edits to previously published chapters this week, partly based on your feedback, partly based on where the book is going. I'll keep you all posted on it so you can either choose to go back and read or know how things change. Your feedback has been very helpful, especially regarding how you're seeing certain char...
2024-12-30 13:00:13 +0000 UTC View PostThe big hexabunny’s fur had mutated into porcupine-like spikes that dripped green poison. Its fangs were much larger than the others, and its body was twice their size.
No way something that big could have been hiding in the water. The thing was the size of a bull mastiff. The party instinctively moved closer to each other. Gambit...
2024-12-30 01:25:54 +0000 UTC View PostThe two faction representatives stood staring at Rick having demanded he chose a side.
Gambit stepped up beside him. "They're not giving us much time, are they?"
Rick shook his head. "What do you think?"
"If all we're going by is who's less of a jerk, then I would say let's stick with the farmers."
Rick climbed back into the seat of the wagon, refreshed. “Had a good nap?” Gambit asked. The Mongolian player had relieved him a few hours ago, letting Rick get some rest.
“Fine. How’s it gone?”
“Badly.” Gambit scowled out over the back of the dinosaur dragging their wagon. “No attacks. I can’t believe ...
2024-12-30 01:24:44 +0000 UTC View Post
The caravan rumbled over a wide, flat stretch of red desert before winding down a bluff onto lowlands of yellowish stone. Here, scrubby desert vegetation dotted the landscape, except where flat stretches of yellow sandstone peeked through the dirt. Twice, they crossed gravel creekbeds where Rick was surprised to see running water—...
2024-12-30 01:24:11 +0000 UTC View Post
“So,” Rick asked. “So how does level up a caravan work?”
“Progression is straightforward,” Slate continued, his tone growing more animated. “You build a group of serious dungeon crawlers. They level up, gear up, form a retinue, and earn the right tokens to build their base. Then they win a challenge dungeon to ge...
2024-12-30 01:23:33 +0000 UTC View Post"So was that your girlfriend?" Daniel asked. “She’s hot. Except when she’s a bear. Then she’s scary. Actually, I get the feeling she’s scary all the time.”
"Ex-girlfriend," Gambit reminded him.
“Definitely scary, then.”
Rick gritted his teeth. They had finally found her, and then she was gone again. He needed to...
2024-12-30 01:22:52 +0000 UTC View Post"Stop!" the bear yelled.
"Seriously, you need to stop!" Rick shouted. He didn’t know for sure what was going on, but the hunter and the bear were both on the same page. He didn’t want to piss off the most powerful players here.
The slimy amalgamation was halfway to them. Daniel threw a confused, angry glance over his shoulder. "W...
2024-12-30 01:22:15 +0000 UTC View PostAs the ogre amalgamations charged a huge white bear appeared in front of the group. The name tag said [Ice Bearoness]. It hit the ground, looked around, said, “Oh hell yeah,” and raced right for the ogres.
Rick targeted the enormous, stark white bear and triggered his Protection, but Gambit had lunged forward, swinging...
2024-12-30 01:21:22 +0000 UTC View PostRick quickly inspected the area around the dais. The necromancer’s worktable was lootable. It produced several bits of corpses and a [Ceremonial Dagger]. The weapon was covered with jewels, with a bone ivory handle, and gave a +1 to magic affinity. Rick immediately equipped it. The knife appeared in a scabbard at his waist. 2024-12-30 01:20:26 +0000 UTC View Post
Note: starting to post Patreon chapters. The RoyalRoad story is https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/100689/shut-up-and-heal-me-my-ex-girlfriends-the-tank and this chapter posts there Monday morning.<...
2024-12-30 01:19:41 +0000 UTC View Post
As Chang-li watched Joshi storm off through the crowd, Min released his arm. "Go after him!" she hissed. "Don't let him say or do anything irrevocable. I'll find Hiroko."
Chang-li was still trying to process what had just happened. Princess Hiroko had declared she would marry Joshi. That was good, wasn't it? Min didn't seem to...
2024-12-28 13:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Hiroko struggled through the crowd of cultivators and hangers-on. Everyone wanted a word with her. She couldn't just brush past them and be gone. She had to exchange pleasantries, inquire after sect members, and listen to boasts about their stories. All the while, she was keeping her eyes open for Joshi.
She had visited the Mo...
2024-12-26 13:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post"Well done," Eri told the victor of her challenge. The young cultivator, Li Jiya, held out a hand as Eri extended the promised elixir to her. It was contained in a small multifaceted crystal vial. The liquid inside gave off shifting colors—now blue, now purple, now green. Eri herself had brewed it, and it would, as promise...
2024-12-24 13:00:05 +0000 UTC View PostJoshi and Li Jiya raced up the mountain, leaving Chang-li behind to stop their pursuers. The peak ahead loomed over them, another four hundred feet. Joshi's eyes flickered from side to side as he picked out the best path. He caught a flash of movement, perhaps a quarter of the way up the flank of the peak from where they were. "Rivals,”...
2024-12-23 13:00:09 +0000 UTC View PostIt was easier than Hiroko had expected to leave the Court of Gems for the afternoon. The Court was being hosted in the Governor's palace complex, up on Vardin City's Crown Ring. Hiroko had yet to meet the actual governor, who was in seclusion recovering from an illness, though the acting governor, who was the brother of one of the other gem nobl...
2024-12-21 13:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Chang-li was in the training room, walking the latest disciples through a series of exercises designed to help them move their bodies and cycle their lux in a contrary pattern. The training room in the house that Min's grandfather had procured for the Sect of Morning Mists was larger than their back garden had been at the broken tow...
2024-12-20 13:00:11 +0000 UTC View PostAuthor's note: messed up my RR posting schedule and gave them an extra chapter, so you guys get an extra tomorrow!
"Ah, Hiroko, thank you for attending me." The Dowager Pearl looked up from where she was seated at a low table, piles of papers scattered all around her. "Please, enter. I'm sorry I haven't had the opportunit...
2024-12-19 13:00:09 +0000 UTC View Post
Unbound Master Noren lifted his mug of beer high. "A Round for the house," he called to cheerful appreciation.
Outside, the wind howled. The House of Fallen Leaves was perched high up in the Darshen Mountains, in a place where the snow lasted year-round. In fact, some of the tavern's more famous drink...
2024-12-17 13:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
REVISED VERSION 12-30-24
Min strained to layer the green into her orange technique. Chang-li stood by, observing, not saying a word. She tried to focus on her technique and her burning muscles, not her husband.
This was her fifth trip inside the tower since arriving at Vardin City three weeks ago. ...
2024-12-16 13:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
The fifth floor of the tower was accessed from a gate on Petal 12. The Petal had a collection of weavers and tailoring shops but not many houses. Chang-li commented on it as they passed through.
Li Jiya said, "No doubt in a tower eruption, this Petal is evacuated and the bridge is cut until cultivators can handle ...
2024-12-14 13:00:05 +0000 UTC View PostProud to announce our new series, launching on RoyalRoad this weekend: Shut Up and Heal Me!
Book 1: My Ex-Girlfriend's the Tank?!
As you may tell from the title, this one's a LitRPG. Our goal is to have two active series going at a time, and with the conclusion of Not My First (Space) Rodeo, we're ready to launch a p...
2024-12-14 00:04:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Based on the number of other cultivators surreptitiously looking around, and more than a few staring in open wonder, Chang-li wasn't the only provincial bumpkin here. The top ring of Vardin City, which circled the entire tower, Min had called the Crown. It stuck far out from the tower and was entirely covered in brightly colored bui...
2024-12-12 13:00:05 +0000 UTC View PostJoshi stepped off the raft into the lux-enforced tube leading beneath the surface of the lake. A ladder ran down its side. He slipped from rung to rung, descending as he led the party on their way to one of the lower levels of the tower.
They were still waiting for the official bride tournament to kick off, and neither Chang-li nor Joshi w...
2024-12-10 13:00:04 +0000 UTC View PostMin waited in the tea room of the Oaken Band Brotherhood headquarters, trying not to let her inner turmoil show through to the surface. Chang-li and her grandfather had been out in the garden for a long time. What if Grandfather Jiang didn't like what he saw? What if Chang-li's worries about the Brotherhood were further stirred up by her grandfa...
2024-12-09 13:00:12 +0000 UTC View Post